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[OB] Oathbringer - Part 1 Parody


Wax

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Guys.. I'll update it when the final 2 chapters release, but here is the draft work!

Oathbringer: Part 1 Parody

Epigraph:  I am not gonna tell you anything!  Just gonna tease ya like Rothfuss’s next book’s release date!  Na nana na NA!

Renarin:….

Dalinar:  I am confused, dunno what to do.  The world is about to end.  Hey Navani – Let us get married!

Navani:  Yeah, got nothing better to do anyway.  Let’s do it!

Stormfather:  Hey, Hey!  I’ll bring in the percussion!  Got something groovy happening!

Shallan:  Hey Adolin!  Let’s make babies!

Pattern:  Um, this is not an Orson Scott Card/GRRM book!  That language is not allowed by Brandon!  No mating!

Adolin: Mumble mumble! Duh!

Renarin: …..

[17 Sharders scurrying & speculating May Aladar is Vivienna]

Kaladin:  Hey, mum, dad and cute baby!  How are ya!

Dad:  Cute baby is your bro.  Can you stop playing with your little sword now?

Kaladin:  Hey miss!  I am hot, radiant and interested in you.  Wanna go on a date?

Larel:  Nah!  Sorry mate, I got a fat bozo for a hubby.  Much rather have him than you.

Kaladin:  Oww.. let me go and kick some chull by flying around then!

Syl:  Hey Kal!  I see some parshmen.  I can turn into a sword and you can whoop their backside!

Kal:  Nah!  I’ve got this slave fetish/fantasy going – see those brands on my head?  Guys – I surrender!

Renarin:…..

[17 Sharders discussing if another incidental character is Vivienna]

Epigraph:  I am not gonna tell you anything!  Just gonna tease ya like Rothfuss’s next book’s release date!  Na nana na NA!

Taravangian:  Hey Dally, wanna be pally?

Dalinar:  Jeez, that was a terrible line.  Mr. T, you need to have your meds.

Malata:…..

Shallan:  Guys guys.  This ain’t WoT, and Brandon likes to keep his PoVs limited.  So, I offer you – Shallan’s split personalities!

Adolin: Mumble mumble! Duh!

Renarin:…..

[17 Sharders discussing if everyone in the book is Vivienna]

Epigraph:  I am not gonna tell you anything!  Just gonna tease ya like Rothfuss’s next book’s release date!  Na nana na NA!

Shallan: Hey, I got it.. I am gonna head down the hole.  But guess what.

Adolin: Mumble mumble! Duh!

Renarin:…..

Shallan:  Never mind.  Just come along [Whoops midnight mother’s backside, but wimps out at the end, to keep the story going]

Adolin: Mumble mumble! Duh!

Renarin:…..

Stormfather:  OK folks.  Time’s up.  Part one is almost over and Brandon needs to move the story along.  You know guys I really don’t like to tell you anything, but hey, tell you what.  I can bring another person to have a look at the visions!  Hey!  Don’t get cross that I took almost the ENTIRE PART 1 and Words of Radiance to come up with the idea.  BUT I’VE BEEN BUSY being a PAIN IN THE chull!

[Random sprouts from 17 Sharders claiming themselves to be Vivienna]

 

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