Entertainment Reviews(and Debate)

[Modal Seoul he/him]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie was everything I thought it would be, but at the same time, it wasn't. I wasn’t really expecting a lot but… man, it still ended up being a disappointment. This really felt like an hour and a half commercial for Nintendo products. The plot is as thin as a string, and the characters are surface level.

The only great thing about it was Jack Black and his performance as Bowser. He was legitimately the best part of the movie. But sadly, he doesn’t make it worth it.

The music was honestly the worst part. Any time you see a visual reference to something from the game, the original theme associated with it blares at full volume (there’s a particular reference to Mario Kart that definitely bothered me). There also are 80’s songs that are randomly selected to play at random times, which was extremely grating. And the song choices aren’t even clever. They just play the most generic 80’s songs you could think of.

And to top it all off, of course Illumination shoved a Minion into it.

[Modal Seoul he/him]

Police Story, 1985, directed by Jackie Chan

It’s my pride and joy. Now it’s broken.
- Jackie Chan talking about his beloved small cactus

Jackie Chan here is an amalgamation of Buster Keaton, Tom Cruise, Bugs Bunny and sheer will. And he not only wows on camera but behind it as well. Going in, I had no idea he directed it but it’s made abundantly clear that nobody but him could pull a movie like this off.

The action and comedy mix together into something electric. I was glued to the screen from scene one and it wastes no time or dialogue on anything useless. Just pure cinema all the way through. The stunts are out of this world. I clapped and giggled at every one. There is one that is so awesome that even the movie knows it. We get instant replays of it. And then it ends with a clip show of the stunts, production, injuries and bloopers on set. Straight guts. What an aura.

Jackie Chan radiates charisma and likability here. His superior is such a great boss. He lets him go full vigilante to bring the scummy gangsters down and then just sits back and watches as Chan beats the crap out of them at the end. And sweet, innocent Maggie Cheung. He doesn’t deserve her.

One of those movies that not only injects the adrenaline but reminds you that movies really do have power. So good.

P.S. if you look like Brigitte Lin or Maggie Cheung, call me right now.