game Rules Lawyer Genie

[Young Bard he/him]

You receive a bag of chocolate milk and cheetos. As in, both in the same bag. Yummy.

 

I wish for down to be up. Permanently.

 

All the dictionaries in the world alter themselves. The definition for 'down' is now an exact synonym for the word 'up'. No other changes have occurred.

 

I wish for a piece of food that is adequate for a meal to appear before every human who does not have enough (i.e. a portion which allows them to stay nourished) food to eat for that particular mealtime (i.e. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner), starting on the 20th of April 2016, and continuing until the destruction of the earth. The destruction of the Earth must come at it's regular time without genie interference, and same goes for any form of alteration to any land surface of the planet or any person on the planet. The receivers are to receive food at the times in which they need it, at a temperature that is optimal to each individual person who is receiving it. It is to arrive 1 meter, in a direction that is within their eyesight, and can't have any velocity relative to the receiver. The food must be easily edible to each individual without any negative effects like indigestion. The food must be a meal that the eater would be able to enjoy. The receiver of the meal must be able to eat the meal that is sent to them (i.e. You can't make all their teeth fall out, or change their digestive system), and there can't be any external effects (e.g. Mobs, indestructible packaging, etc.) that can prevent them from eating it either. The meal must be made from scratch without any ingredients that has the potential to physically, mentally, or emotionally harm the receiver of the meal. The meal, and all of it's sum ingredients, must be made of ingredients that it is considered 'normal' for 21st Century societies to eat.

Edited April 20, 2016 by The Young Bard

[ChickenPlague he/him]

All the dictionaries in the world alter themselves. The definition for 'down' is now an exact synonym for the word 'up'. No other changes have occurred.

I wish for a piece of food that is adequate for a meal to appear before every human who does not have enough (i.e. a portion which allows them to stay nourished) food to eat for that particular mealtime (i.e. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner), starting on the 20th of April 2016, and continuing until the destruction of the earth. The destruction of the Earth must come at it's regular time without genie interference, and same goes for any form of alteration to any land surface of the planet or any person on the planet. The receivers are to receive food at the times in which they need it, at a temperature that is optimal to each individual person who is receiving it. It is to arrive 1 meter, in a direction that is within their eyesight, and can't have any velocity relative to the receiver. The food must be easily edible to each individual without any negative effects like indigestion. The food must be a meal that the eater would be able to enjoy. The receiver of the meal must be able to eat the meal that is sent to them (i.e. You can't make all their teeth fall out, or change their digestive system), and there can't be any external effects (e.g. Mobs, indestructible packaging, etc.) that can prevent them from eating it either. The meal must be made from scratch without any ingredients that has the potential to physically, mentally, or emotionally harm the receiver of the meal. The meal, and all of it's sum ingredients, must be made of ingredients that it is considered 'normal' for 21st Century societies to eat.

The Genie interprets "scratch" for it's slang meaning of "money". As such he begins to turn peoples money into delicious food. Due to the fact that computer information also has mass the genie uses up all of the money there for the first meal.

I wish for Nighthound to die.

Edited April 20, 2016 by ChickenPlague

[Young Bard he/him]

He dies, and is immediately revived next morning thanks to another Epic's powers.

 

I wish for a piece of food that is adequate for a meal to appear before every human who does not have enough (i.e. a portion which allows them to stay nourished) food to eat for that particular mealtime (i.e. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner), starting on the 20th of April 2016, and continuing until the destruction of the earth. The destruction of the Earth must come at it's regular time without genie interference, and same goes for any form of alteration to any land surface of the planet or any person on the planet. The receivers are to receive food at the times in which they need it, at a temperature that is optimal to each individual person who is receiving it. It is to arrive 1 meter, in a direction that is within their eyesight, and can't have any velocity relative to the receiver. The food must be easily edible to each individual without any negative effects like indigestion. The food must be a meal that the eater would be able to enjoy. The receiver of the meal must be able to eat the meal that is sent to them (i.e. You can't make all their teeth fall out, or change their digestive system), and there can't be any external effects (e.g. Mobs, indestructible packaging, etc.) that can prevent them from eating it either. The genie must create the meal from nothing (i.e. he can't take food from somewhere else to make the meals), without any ingredients that has the potential to physically, mentally, or emotionally harm the receiver of the meal. The meal, and all of it's sum ingredients, must be made of ingredients that it is considered 'normal' for 21st Century societies to eat.

 

EDIT: Bolded the changed sentence.

Edited April 20, 2016 by The Young Bard

[ChickenPlague he/him]

Can I suggest that once a wish has been broken, no iterating the wish to plug the holes?

  

Sure. One attempt per wish makes sense.

 

I knew there was a rule about this!

[aeromancer he/him]

There's also the fact that the meal doesn't have to be nourishing, or can be perpetually floating above them 1 meter in the air, and impossible to move.

 

Still The Young Bard's turn, I guess.

Edited April 20, 2016 by aeromancer

[18th Shard he/him]

He dies, and is immediately revived next morning thanks to another Epic's powers.

 

I wish for a piece of food that is adequate for a meal to appear before every human who does not have enough (i.e. a portion which allows them to stay nourished) food to eat for that particular mealtime (i.e. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner), starting on the 20th of April 2016, and continuing until the destruction of the earth. The destruction of the Earth must come at it's regular time without genie interference, and same goes for any form of alteration to any land surface of the planet or any person on the planet. The receivers are to receive food at the times in which they need it, at a temperature that is optimal to each individual person who is receiving it. It is to arrive 1 meter, in a direction that is within their eyesight, and can't have any velocity relative to the receiver. The food must be easily edible to each individual without any negative effects like indigestion. The food must be a meal that the eater would be able to enjoy. The receiver of the meal must be able to eat the meal that is sent to them (i.e. You can't make all their teeth fall out, or change their digestive system), and there can't be any external effects (e.g. Mobs, indestructible packaging, etc.) that can prevent them from eating it either. The genie must create the meal from nothing (i.e. he can't take food from somewhere else to make the meals), without any ingredients that has the potential to physically, mentally, or emotionally harm the receiver of the meal. The meal, and all of it's sum ingredients, must be made of ingredients that it is considered 'normal' for 21st Century societies to eat.

 

EDIT: Bolded the changed sentence.

Unfortunately, you never said they had the opportunity to eat it. The food appears, then disappears after they attempt to eat it. 

 

I wish that the lawyer genie always types in typos.

[aeromancer he/him]

This sentence is composed of typos in French. Horrible typos at that.

 

I wish ... for honor.

[Arraenae]

This sentence is composed of typos in French. Horrible typos at that.

 

I wish ... for honor.

 

Your spiritweb is altered so it has many, many cracks. Multiple spren with Honor's Investiture form Nahel Bonds with you. Unfortunately, you've sworn so many oaths that you can barely do anything without breaking an oath. (Example: if you see someone on the street being beaten to death, your honorspren will tell you to protect them, while your highspren will tell you that being a vigilante is illegal, and by the time you figure out a way to legally scare off the mugger, the victim will already be dead.)

 

I wish that I had free access to all Adobe products with my laptop. My laptop must not be broken, and I must not be adversely affected by having free versions of said products. I must be able to access my laptop anytime I want and retain full interest in using said products.

[Bugsy he/him]

 

I wish that I had free access to all Adobe products with my laptop. My laptop must not be broken, and I must not be adversely affected by having free versions of said products. I must be able to access my laptop anytime I want and retain full interest in using said products.

 

Granted. Your interest is so full and intense, in fact, that you find yourself unable to stop using the products no matter how hard you try. You try to get rid of your laptop, but it keeps reappearing in your bag because you wished to be able to access it at all times. You try to break it, but it is strangely impervious to physical damage as well. Eventually, you waste away, becoming nothing but an old husk practically glued to an outdated computer screen.

 

Someone else can do my wish, I don't have the time right now

[DanTheSeamonster he/him]

Since Bugsy doesn't want his wish and no one else has used it, I suppose that I will take it.

 

I wish for the ability to take on the exact shape, size, texture and appearance of anyone or anything that I desire, while also retaining my identity and personality and being able to revert back to my original form from the moment after I first gained said ability.

[18th Shard he/him]

Granted, as long as you don't mind that your original form is a pair of cells (that was your original form pre-birth)

 

I wish that I was a Mistborn without any adverse side effects, and that I remained developing as I currently am identically as in the currently existing time stream save for this exception.

[Arraenae]

I wish that I was a Mistborn without any adverse side effects, and that I remained developing as I currently am identically as in the currently existing time stream save for this exception.

 

Granted. Your associates in the Dark Alley would like to, ah, invite you over for cookies and tea. No, they aren't planning on using those spikes. Especially not on you. Of course not. Why would you ever think that?

 

If you survive that, you'll have to be very careful with ingesting metals. Some of them will cause cancer and other nasty things. But if you don't want to die, the Dark Alley will be happy to accept free hemalurgic spikes...

Edited April 26, 2016 by Arraenae

[Irkutsk he/him]

It seems that there are no pending wishes, so...

I wish that starting now, I will never need sleep or rest again. The lack of sleep and rest must have no negative impact on my physical, mental or emotional health, and my body should function exactly as it did before the wish, excepting the need for sleep or rest. I shall never feel or notice any sort of fatigue, soreness or desire for rest. I shall not feel any negative difference to my body, mind or soul as it is at this moment as a result of the wish.There shall be no other changes than the above stipulations made to the universe as a result of the wish.

[Silverblade5 he/him]

It seems that there are no pending wishes, so...

I wish that starting now, I will never need sleep or rest again. The lack of sleep and rest must have no negative impact on my physical, mental or emotional health, and my body should function exactly as it did before the wish, excepting the need for sleep or rest. I shall never feel or notice any sort of fatigue, soreness or desire for rest. I shall not feel any negative difference to my body, mind or soul as it is at this moment as a result of the wish.There shall be no other changes than the above stipulations made to the universe as a result of the wish.

Granted. You will no longer sleep. You also lose the ability to escape any lingering pain when its present.

I wish I wasn't such a ******* moron half the time.

[Nashan’Elin he/him]

Granted. You will no longer sleep. You also lose the ability to escape any lingering pain when its present.

I wish I wasn't such a ******* moron half the time.

Granted, you're now a moron all the time (sorry)

[Master Elodin]

Granted, you're now a moron all the time (sorry)

The genie accepts your wish to give an apology. You win!

[Stormgate he/him]

I am satisfied with my wish and the granting of it.

Since no wish was asked, I will just go.

I wish for the effect known as the Northern Lights, or Aurora Borealis, to be visible to everyone on the surface of the earth at times normal for the Northern Lights to appear, with no detrimental effects on the atmosphere, sun, or any individuals or communities, including power blackouts or brownouts, and that they will appear in the sky, not anywhere else, for as long as the Lights appear, and that all individuals' appreciation of the Northern Lights is not in any way changed from what it is or would be prior to the granting of the wish.

[Eagle of the Forest Path he/him]

Since the appreciation of the Northern Lights remains unchanged from what it would have been before the wish, a lot of people take their expanded appearance as a sign of the prophesied end of the world, global religious war breaks out, ended by multiple nuclear strikes wiping out the majority of the earth's remaining population instantly and resulting in a nuclear winter that lasts a few centuries, killing off the minority that survived the initial blasts.

 

I wish to be the sole winner of a large EuroMillions jackpot during the coming year.

[aeromancer he/him]

Done. In fact, you win 1 googolplex of Euros. Enjoy! (Aside from the gravitational mass of said Euros destroying the Earth, the sheer amount of Euros devaluate them to practically worthless.

 

I wish for the concept of wishing to never have existed.

[Stormgate he/him]

The genie has no idea how to grant your wish and not create a paradox except to create an alternate universe where wishing was never invented, and send you there. See you! Or, I guess, not.

I wish to have the supernatural powers that I have assigned to the imaginary being of Stormgate, without any of the side effects standard of Epics, as well as the skill to use the powers effectively. I just get the powers of weather and electricity manipulation, as well as wound deflection to the person causing it (You hit me, you are injured) with no other effects to me except skill, and nothing happening to anyone else as a result of the wish, although I may use my powers on people after the wish has been granted.

[Arraenae]

The genie has no idea how to grant your wish and not create a paradox except to create an alternate universe where wishing was never invented, and send you there. See you! Or, I guess, not.

I wish to have the supernatural powers that I have assigned to the imaginary being of Stormgate, without any of the side effects standard of Epics, as well as the skill to use the powers effectively. I just get the powers of weather and electricity manipulation, as well as wound deflection to the person causing it (You hit me, you are injured) with no other effects to me except skill, and nothing happening to anyone else as a result of the wish, although I may use my powers on people after the wish has been granted.

 

Wish granted. You now cannot touch anybody or be touched by anybody, for they are wounded every single time they squish a skin cell. No more hugs for you, ever!

 

I wish that I knew the programming languages html, CSS, and Java.

[RippleGylf she/her]

Granted. In the past, you knew these programming languages, but you can't seem to remember any now.

I wish to travel back in time to see my past self. This must not create a paradox, and I will return to my proper time 24 hours after my arrival in the past. No bodily harm must come to me or my past self.

[Matrim Bloody Cauthon he/him]

you go back in time to when you were 3. no one can see you and you cannot see anything but yourself, everything else is blank. the image of your past self is distorted as if looking into a carnival mirror. you cannot move and time is frozen. for 24 hours you stare at a distorted image of yourself at the age of 3.