Sovereign States!

[Emeralis00 she/her]

That's the end of the audition phase and the last we hear from Kalir and his friends. However, I did start writing what I planned to be the story for my first round. I really liked the idea that I had and even after the competition fell through, I started to work on it. Instead of waiting for my opponent's civilization, I made my own and began to write it out. It takes place a few hundred years after this one, so the characters are different, but if anyone would be interested in reading that one, I'd post it here as well. It's not complete - not by a long shot, but I've been thinking about starting to work on it again.

I did say that you could use my civilization you know.

I'd be interested in reading it.

[Aeshdan he/him]

That's the end of the audition phase and the last we hear from Kalir and his friends. However, I did start writing what I planned to be the story for my first round. I really liked the idea that I had and even after the competition fell through, I started to work on it. Instead of waiting for my opponent's civilization, I made my own and began to write it out. It takes place a few hundred years after this one, so the characters are different, but if anyone would be interested in reading that one, I'd post it here as well. It's not complete - not by a long shot, but I've been thinking about starting to work on it again.

Your chapters are beautiful. I eagerly look forward to introducing you to my Orre. Should I post in this thread or make a new one.

[FeatherWriter she/her]

Your chapters are beautiful. I eagerly look forward to introducing you to my Orre. Should I post in this thread or make a new one.

I'm not sure I completely understand. What are the Orre? Did you make a civ? I'd love to read about them! Feel free to post here! Also, I suppose I could post what I've written of the new story. It's tentatively titled To Cut A Desert Rose.

[FeatherWriter she/her]

This isn't all of it, but it's the part I'm most comfortable with. So, this is a couple hundred years in the future. Jaiset is a country now with multiple towns and cities, the canyon city of Jaiset being the capital and now a large urban center. I'd place the time period at something like the Classical Roman age for a good real-world equivalent.

Chapter 1

It was an awfully long way to go for a bottle of perfume. The herbalist’s shop was near the outskirts of the canyon city of Jaiset, just about as far away from the central palace as could be. But Lyla Serah was the princess’s servant, and when Her High Light Amela Temar wanted something, she usually got it.

It’s not really the cleanest part of the city either, Lyla thought with distaste. The steep cliff walls of the canyons rose behind the buildings of the narrow, winding street. The canyons of the Inner City had been widened to let in more sunlight, but out here at the edges streets were so narrow they were shadowed nearly all day. The buildings here were poor, many in disrepair, and a layer of reddish dust covered everything. Above, she could barely see the buildings of the Upper City, built on the flattened tops of spires and cliffs. The Upper City buildings were usually much nicer than Lower City buildings, and the farther one went from the Inner City, the more pronounced the difference became. Every so often she would pass under a small bridge connecting the high plateaus.

After a few more minutes of walking she found the shop. The herbalist had been highly recommended by one of the women of the court for his perfumes. Princess Amela liked to change scents every so often, usually around events. Lyla checked the picture on the sign with the sketch she’d been given, then pushed the door open and walked in.

The shelves were lined with all shapes and sizes of glass bottles, powders sat in jars and pots, and dried plants hung from the ceiling. There was a musky, spicy smell, not unpleasant though, which hung heavily in the air. As Lyla walked in, an old man behind the counter stood up.

“How may I help you, Jaisa?” The merchant asked politely. Then he noticed her fine clothes. “Or Li-Jaisa perhaps?” he amended, using the title for nobility instead.

“Actually, it would be Su-Jaisa.” She corrected him with the servant’s address, holding out her arms. “I’m a handmaid of Li-Jaisa Temar.”

Around each forearm she wore a silver bracer set with a large oval of polished blue glass and smaller circles of colored glass around it in a design. Around the stones it was engraved with the seal of the royal family and other markings which marked her as their property. The glass was shaped to catch the sunlight and focus it onto the skin beneath. The lens cuffs, as they were called, were common among the Jaiseti in the city, though few were as expensive or well made as hers.

He took her wrist, turning it and inspecting the seal. “My apologies, Su-Jaisa. Would this be a personal visit or an official errand?”

“Official, actually. I’m shopping for the princess today.” Lyla said. “We have a party of dignitaries coming from Nuem for trade negotiations, and Li-Jaisa Temar is looking for new perfume for the occasion.”

“Ah, yes.” He said, nodding. “Everyone in the city has been talking about the Nuem coming. I am honored that the princess sent you to my shop. I’ll get my best bottles then.” He went to the back of the shop, unlocked a small chest, and took out a couple of bottles. He set them on the counter in front of her.

“Only the best stock for the princess, of course.” He said with a smile. He picked up a wide and flat orange colored bottle. “This is a very exotic scent, very rare. It’s made from the extracts of the citrus fruits from across the mountains, brought in by caravans. The princess would certainly be unique with this perfume.” He moved to a small pink bottle with a cork carved in the shape of a flower. “This is my highest quality perfume, honey water and desert rose. It’s a more traditional scent, but far more luxurious than anything you’ll find in anywhere else.”

Lyla took each of the bottles, wafting their each of their scents toward her. The rose was very nice, but too common. The princess’s rooms were usually filled with desert roses in vases of water, and the smell could be cloying at times. Lyla put that bottle down and held up the orange one. “Oh yes, that’s very nice. How much for this one?”

“Normally that bottle is fifteen clear-gold lenses, but for the princess I can drop it to ten.”

The merchant smiled as though he’d just done her a great favor, but Lyla’s eyebrows rose at the price. Clear-gold lenses were the highest denomination of coin in the city, each worth nearly two months’ wages for a common man. Like all lens coins they consisted of a flat metal ring with glass at the center. Both the metal band and color of the glass determined the value, bronze and green glass were lowest and gold and clear glass were most valuable. The combinations of glasses and metals allowed for an intricate yet exact currency.

Always astounded at the extravagance of the royal family, Lyla counted out the lenses from her coin purse. They were the Li-Jaisa Amela’s, of course. Despite her fine clothes, Lyla was the property of the Daiem, technically a slave, albeit an extremely well-pampered one. She wasn’t allowed possessions or money; everything she owned was a gift from the Li-Jaisa. As one of the princess’s personal servants, however, she was allowed to handle money on the princess’s behalf.

The merchant took her lenses with a covetous gleam in his eye. He held one up to the light to check its authenticity, but then froze nervously. “Sorry,” He said, quickly putting the lens back down. “It’s not that I doubt the Li-Jaisa’s money, of course. I wasn’t thinking. It’s just an old habit from dealing in this neighborhood.”

Lyla nodded sympathetically. “It’s all right. I understand. The outskirts are a bit rougher around the edges.”

He smiled gratefully. He took the bottle and wrapped it in a thin colored sheet of paper before putting it in a small box. His long fingers were deft and nimble, tying a ribbon around the package in a neat bow.

He held it out to her when he finished. “There you are, Su-Jaisa. I hope the princess finds it satisfactory.”

“I’m sure it will be perfect. Thank you, Jaisem. Good day.” She tucked the small box into her satchel carefully and left.

Outside, the sun had risen higher and a small sliver of light touched the narrow street. Lyla moved over to walk along it. After only moments, she felt better. Other cultures assumed that the Jaiseti simply enjoyed the sunlight because it was a connection to Elumis, their sun god. But the nation of Jaiset had a secret.

They needed sunlight to live.

It was like water, food, or air. Having sunlight made the Jaiseti stronger and healthier, and without it they wasted away. The desert climate meant that most days were sunny enough to provide plenty of light, but on the rare overcast days everyone in Jaiset seemed to feel sick, weak, and irritable.

Lyla wondered absently to herself as she walked in her thin sunbeam if that was the reason why the people out here were rougher and meaner: their twisty canyons didn’t let them get enough light. Sure, they could walk to the sunnier sections like the Inner City or Upper City, or go spend a few hours lounging in a sunhouse, but having to spend most of their day in these shadows couldn’t be good for a person.

Ahead of her, a woman rounded the corner, yelling to people behind her. “Will you lot hurry up? At this rate we won’t make it until sunset. I swear you lazy–” She was tall for a Jaisa, with a rough sort of look about her and her hair was so dark it must have been dyed. There was a gold ring in one of her ears and when she turned forward, Lyla noticed her eyes were a pale green.

“Move, girl.” The woman snapped. Behind her, three men rounded the corner, supposedly whom she’d been speaking to. “I don’t have time to deal with you.”

Lyla realized she’d stopped in the street. “I’m sorry, Jaisa. I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was walking.” She moved to one side of the street so the woman and her companions could pass.

Speaking of sun-starved toughs… Lyla thought. It’ll be nice to be back in the Inner City, where people have some manners.

One of the men suddenly grabbed her arm as she passed him. “Not a bad idea actually,” he said. “Cara might not have time to deal with you, but I know I’d like to see you move.” He was short, with greasy hair and an even greasier smile. His hand felt slimy around her arm.

She tried to pull away. “Excuse me?”

The leader woman, presumably Cara, stopped and turned back around, looking annoyed. “Let her go, Feris. We don’t have time for this. The guard will be on us any minute.”

“Of course, you say that.” Feris replied without looking away from Lyla. “You’ve got Arin to do whatever you want. Let me have this. It’ll be like a going away present for me.”

“Hey!” The taller of the other two men spoke up. “I don’t do whatever she wants! If anything, it’s the other way around!”

“Oh please, Arin.” The shorter one said. He had a long scar running down one side of his face. “We know who carries the blade in your relationship.”

“Shut it, both of you.” Cara barked. “Feris, I’m warning you. Drop it now.”

Lyla had grasped the man’s intentions and began struggling and kicking at him. He pushed her backward, pinning her against the rocky canyon wall. With her free hand she tried to grab the small knife at her waist, but he saw and grabbed it first. It probably wouldn’t have done her much good; she’d never been trained to use it.

“It’s a pretty blade you’ve got.” He said, smiling as he casually tossed it behind him, out of reach. “Are you a nobleman’s daughter or something?”

Cara walked over, glaring at him. “Look at those lens cuffs, Feris. She’s a palace servant. She’s more trouble than she’s worth.”

The short scarred man spoke up. “I’ve heard they pick the palace servants for their beauty.” He walked up and reached out to touch her, but she jerked away. He grinned. “Certainly seems true.”

“A palace servant, huh?” Feris said, seeming intrigued. “I’d bet the prince has his pick of them each night. I wouldn’t mind having what the royal family gets to have.”

“We’ve got a bounty out on our heads; don’t make it a death warrant!” Cara said. “We don’t have time for you two to dally with serving girls; we need to get out of the city!”

Something flashed off to Lyla’s right and the scarred man cried out. She watched as he fell to his knees beside her, clutching his side where a wide slice was seeping bright red blood.

“I would say you really don’t have time to do anything at all, Jaisa.”

As the wounded man fell to the ground, Lyla could see his attacker, the speaker, standing behind him, flourishing a now-bloody sword. He was a broad-shouldered man with fine clothes, some of the richest in the city. His hair was well-groomed and, unlike the street toughs, his face was clean.

To Lyla however, the fact that his face was familiar was most astonishing. She knew him, but the chaos of the situation made it difficult to remember exactly who he was. She only really saw his face for a second before Feris blocked her view.

Feris released her, his hand grappling at his knife. As soon as she was free, she jumped back, horrified at the sight of the scarred man’s corpse and the slowly growing pool of blood. When she finally tore her eyes away from the graphic sight, she noticed that Cara and the other man, Arin, had vanished. They’d probably bolted while she’d been distracted.

She turned her eyes back to Feris and the swordsman. Feris finally managed to unsheathe his knife and held the short blade in front of him, bent low and tensed like a cat ready to spring. His opponent, however almost seemed relaxed. He settled into an easy lunge, on his toes with his right leg before him and his left leg behind. His sword was held comfortably in his left hand while his right arm went behind his back. There was a lightness to the pose, as if he weighed nothing, yet a stability to it as well. Lyla recognized it as a duelist’s starting posture; the man was well-trained.

The duelist moved first, lunging forward. Feris dodged out of the way before swiping at his opponent’s chest. The duelist parried and attacked again. After only a few attacks, it was easy to tell that Feris was losing. The other man was playing with him, giving him scratches and nicks instead of finishing strikes.

After what couldn’t have been longer than a minute, the duelist grew tired of the game. As Feris jumped forward to attack again, the man dodged sideways and got behind him. In one smooth motion, he thrust his sword through the street thug and pulled it back out again.

Lyla winced and turned away, wishing she hadn’t seen that. While she’d watched fights before, they’d mostly been noble duels. Nobody ever got seriously injured, and certainly no one died. The duelist’s casual attitude almost made the whole thing worse. She composed herself, turning back to the bloody scene.

Feris had joined his companion, dead on the ground. The duelist bent down to smoothly wipe his blade clean on an un-bloodied swath of the fallen thug’s shirt. Now that the initial adrenaline had started to wear off, Lyla was struck again by how familiar he looked. She’d seen him before, somewhere. A young noble who had come to court to compete in one of the duels, perhaps?

Then he looked up, and it clicked. Li-Jaisem Corin Temar, the Prince of Jaiset, heir to the throne. The princess’s older brother. Despite his living in the palace with her, Lyla didn’t often see him. His duties and his sister’s were usually very different. Their paths for the most part only crossed at banquets and duels. Now that she knew who he was, Lyla remembered that the prince was an avid duelist.

She gasped and bowed her head quickly. “Your Light,” she said. “I’m so sorry. If I’d have known it was you–”

"You would have fought them off yourself or something?” He laughed as he put his sword away. “Don’t apologize for giving me an excuse to fight; it was a good sport. I’m sorry the other two ran off, but at least I got to fight one of them. It’s too bad he was a knife fighter, though. They’re too wily to be fun for long; if you’re not careful you’ll find them behind you with their blade in your ribs. Best just to kill them quickly.”

Lyla nodded, not trusting herself to words. The topic made her feel sick again, but she didn’t want to offend the Li-Jaisem. He was one of the court’s best duelists; it wasn’t surprising he would enjoy a street fight. She needed to be respectful.

He walked over to her, stepping over Feris on his way. “You look familiar. You’re one of my sister’s girls, aren’t you? What’s your name?”

“Su-Jaisa Lyla Serah, Your Light.” She said, bowing her head.

He put a hand under her chin, lifting her face. “Oh, come now. No need for such titles, Lyla” She stiffened at his touch and the use of her first name. “I just saved you. Surely you and I are beyond those silly things.”

She pulled back, shocked at his forwardness. “No thank you, Li-Jaisem, I prefer to use titles. It would be informal otherwise. If you will excuse me, I must return to the palace.” She bowed quickly before walking around him and hoping she hadn’t been too rude.

After she’d gone a few steps, he re-appeared at her elbow. “Let me escort you then.” He said with a smile. “I’ve finished my business and am returning to the palace myself. I’d hate to have all my hard work go to waste were you to be attacked again, Su-Jaisa Lyla.” The way he emphasized her servant’s title made it sound as though it were some joke between them.

She was feeling uncomfortable with his casual attitude and would have preferred to walk alone, but he was the heir to the throne. It wasn’t as if she could say no. She ducked her head to try to avoid eye contact, hoping it would keep him from talking to her, but no such luck.

“So what was one of my sister’s servants doing in a neighborhood like this?”

What was the Daiem’s son doing in a neighborhood like this? She wondered, but didn’t ask.

Instead, she continued looking straight ahead as she responded, and made sure not to address him either by title or name. It seemed safest for now. “Your sister sent me. Her regular perfumist moved to Shariel a few weeks ago, and so I was sent to an herbalist whose shop is near here. He was recommended by one of the ladies of court.”

They continued talking as they walked back to the Inner City, the prince trying to keep up a conversation, Lyla trying to answer as concisely as possible so as to end them. She wished she could simply not respond, but her manners wouldn’t let her. He was persistent, keeping the conversation limping along until they reached the foot of the long, wide staircase leading up to the palace.

Silently thanking Elumis for an excuse to leave him and end the whole ordeal, she finally faced him and bowed once more. “Thank you Li-Jaisem, for accompanying me back to the palace. Perhaps our paths will cross again.” Though no time soon would be nice.

“And what about my payment?” He asked just as she started to walk up the steps. “I saved you; you owe me your life. Can’t I expect something in return?”

She turned back, rather surprised. “Li-Jaisem, I have nothing to give you. I have no possessions or money to my name. If I am indebted to you, I must profess I do not know how to repay it.”

“Your company was wonderful, and I only wish to spend more time with you. Come by my rooms later tonight, and we’ll get to know each other better, hmm?” He smiled at her knowingly.

She felt blood rise to her face, though whether from embarrassment or indignation she wasn’t sure. Perhaps a mix of both. Her voice was tense as she answered.

“Your Light, I wish no disrespect, but I must refuse. I am your sister’s servant. To be alone and unsupervised with you would be inappropriate. If you do, in fact, believe me to be in your debt, I would suggest you speak with your sister about allowing me to repay you in a more suitable way. Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back to your sister.”

She had no intention of waiting to be excused by him, propriety be burned. She wanted to get away as soon as possible, before he could try anything else.

---

Author's notes: This scene might seem a bit familiar to those of you very familiar with Way of Kings. I constructed Corin's character to be something a bit like "Adolin gone wrong". A talented duelist, a ladies' man, and a prince - but Corin has none of Adolin's character. This scene in particular was inspired by a scene in WoK where Adolin saves a prostitute, and she offers him her services as repayment. I wanted to flip the tables a little bit and explore the other side.

Edited June 13, 2012 by FeatherWriter

[Aeshdan he/him]

I'm not sure I completely understand. What are the Orre? Did you make a civ? I'd love to read about them! Feel free to post here! Also, I suppose I could post what I've written of the new story. It's tentatively titled To Cut A Desert Rose.

The Orre are a civ I made up, but I haven't written their story yet. I'll post it ASAP.

EDIT: A few more things. First, I'm going to write and post the scholastic portion of the Orre write-up first, so I'll have a consistent design to work with. Second, I'm inventing an NPC civ called the Muhmad for the Orre to be at war with. Also, the Jaiseti are near this planet's equator, right?

Edited June 14, 2012 by ReaderAt2046

[FeatherWriter she/her]

I don't know if anyone even really cares anymore, but Reader asked me what happens to the Jaiseti at night, and I figured I might as well share my answer here: (Copy-pasted from the conversation)

They sleep! Not having sunlight is one of the main reasons the Jaiseti feel tired, so they go to bed. Since the body uses a lot less energy while asleep, they don't really need the light. Most of the Jaiseti sleep in until the sun has been up for a few hours so they've got some energy for the day. Some have to get up before the sunrise, and it's a grueling experience. Once the sun comes up, they start to feel better though.

A Jais who tried to stay up all night would find themselves getting more and more tired until the sun rose again. Most wouldn't make it to midnight, but the truly determined could stick it out until morning. By sunrise they'd be exhausted but it'd be doable, and when the sun rose, it'd probably feel a bit like drinking a triple shot latte.

There are a few Jais who sleep during the day and are awake at night - guards who have night shifts, some innkeepers and barkeeps. They usually sleep somewhere that has full sunlight during the day, like a rooftop or something. When they wake up for the night, they've got tons of strength and energy. It's been stored up and they haven't used any of it. At the beginning of the night, a nocturnal Jais is about as strong as it's possible to be! As the night goes on, they'll feel weaker and sleepier. By the time morning comes they're at their weakest and ready to fall back into bed and sleep again.

This is one of the reasons the Jaiseti try to keep their sun-dependence secret from other cultures. They're at their most vulnerable in the early hours of the morning and whenever the weather is overcast for a significant amount of time.

A nocturnal Jais would have a very different waking experience than a diurnal Jais, that's for sure! But it's possible. Switching to a nocturnal cycle is harder for the Jaiseti than for a normal human. They tend to have pretty regular sleep cycles. Switching up your schedule tends to be a fairly permanent change. There wouldn't be nearly as many all-nighters for a Jaiseti college student!

If someone were to try to switch over to being nocturnal, the first night where they're up all night would be quite the ordeal. It's best to have an already-nocturnal friend to stay with you and keep you from falling asleep as you wait it out.

Wow. You probably didn't expect a novel for such a simple question, but I wrote it anyway. Oh well. It's something I've thought about quite a bit! I hope that answers your question!

[CrazyRioter she/her]

don't apologize, I found it interesting! And I'd like to read more of this.

[FeatherWriter she/her]

Reader: I just saw your edit, so I'll answer. Yep, the Jaiseti are pretty much smack dab on the equator. I believe the true equator of the planet is somewhere around 50 miles from the canyons.

Crazy Rioter: I'm glad you found it interesting! (I had to stop myself. I nearly started apologizing for apologizing.) It still seems bewildering to me that other people find my writing as interesting as I do. But that's a writer's temperament is it not? So, thank you!

[Aeshdan he/him]

The reason I ask about the equator is that the Orre are pretty far south of it, so the two races wouldn't meet early on.