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Slowswift

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So, I've mentioned in a couple other places around the forums that I'm writing a couple of myths for two of my classes, Astronomy and Mythology. Aside from really really really hoping I get a good grade, I have decided to post them here, in all of their unedited glory for you to read.

 

The first one, for Astronomy: 

THE SHIELD OF GOD

Being the Explanation of God and His Warriors

 

To the people of the Far Planet (or Hadiggir, as it has been known to be called), the pentagon, known as the Shield of God, is an important symbol – perhaps the most important symbol – in their religion. Its sides represent the five ways in which God defends man against the dangers of the Devil: from pestilence, from famine, from war, from death, and from all other sin. The points represent the Five Warriors, who are protectors and caretakers that God assigned to combat each peril. In the center of the Shield lies God Himself. From there He observes the day to day activities of man, sending His Warriors to fight the Devil as often as necessary.

 

No other place is this symbol more evident than in the night sky. The constellation Geintir Konfjori (translated roughly as “protection from God”) is the ultimate representation of this particular belief. The center star sits directly above the North Pole. The five stars surrounding this North Star rotate around it, acting as the “all-knowing and all-protecting Shield of God”.

 

Most fascinating of all is the Hadiggir's myth regarding this remarkable constellation. Aside from all of the symbols mentioned above, the People of the Far Planet have a myth regarding the creation of this legendary shield. This legend has been passed down from generation to generation, and it has been transcribed here for possibly the first time.

 

In the beginning, God created the Sky the Stars and Planets which are in them. One of these creations, Hadiggir, was God's favorite. So he set about cultivating it and making it a place to live for his other creations.

 

But the Devil came, and seeing God's joy in his creations, wreaked terrible destruction on this world. God fought off the Devil, but not before God's beautiful creation had been ruined. The peaceful oceans and meadows had been wiped clean, leaving only barren rock and molten lava in its place.

 

So God rebuilt his planet. He smoothed out the desolate mountains and cooled the lava and made the place beautiful once more. But again the Devil came after God had finished and destroyed his work.

 

This went on for eight days. On the ninth day, God grew tired of reshaping Hadiggir after the Devil had destroyed it. So he devised a plan.

 

When the Devil came to crush the planet once more, instead of trying to stop him, God stood back and watched. After ages had passed, the Devil grew bored and moved on. God then went to Hadiggir and used the molten stone to fashion Himself a mighty shield, the first part in his plan to defeat the Devil. Satisfied, God restored his creation to its glory.

On the tenth day, the Devil came again to crush the planet. But this time, God was ready. He blocked the Devil with his shield and drove him away. Frightened, the Devil fled, never to return for another thousand days.

 

Finally at peace, God spent the rest of the tenth day populating his creation with beasts of every kind.

 

When He was finished, God retired to the sky and set down his shield. Ten days had tired God, and so he created five beings to protect Hadiggir, charging them with the duty to act as he directed to shield the planet from the Devil's attempts to destroy it. These five took up position around God's shield and remain watchful to this day, fighting the Devil whenever he returns.

 

It is said that when these warriors grow tired, one by one, and fail in their duty, then will the world be destroyed once more. Thus the cycle will begin again.

 

The second, for Mythology:

WHY THERE ARE LEMON TREES

or Gosh Dang It Zeus Get It Together Already

 

“ZEUS!”

 

Though he was the god of the sky, wielder of the mighty thunderbolt, that voice made Zeus jump three feet in the air. Still trembling from the shock, he steadied himself on the door he had just closed. The door in questioned belonged to a handsome cottage, which lay on the edge of a small village.

 

It was also the home of the Lord of the Sky's latest fling.

 

“Yes, dear?” he said meekly, turning to face his wife.

 

“OH DON'T YOU 'YES, DEAR' ME!” Hera snarled. “What are you doing here?

 

Zeus shuffled his feet. “Um. I was... visiting a friend. They make some lovely tea, you see.” He scratched at his neck.

 

She does, eh?” Hera said. She tapped her foot against the cobblestones. “And that's all you were doing? You weren't having yet another affair?”

 

Well, she certainly was blunt. “Um. No.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Nope. I most certainly was not seducing yet another mortal girl even though you've made yourself perfectly clear how you feel about it by turning every girl I meet into various animals. Not at all.” And then, with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

 

He wouldn't be able to hide forever. In fact, he had, at the absolute most, five minutes before Hera found him and exacted her revenge.

 

Zeus turned and looked around. He was in a valley, surrounded by trees. They weren't too densely packed; the trees were clustered fairly loosely. It was a perfect spot to sit and think for the remaining four minutes.

 

So Zeus did just that. He sat down next to a smaller tree and turned his mind towards evading Hera.

He didn't get far. Zeus had just started on one possible solution when there was a blinding flash of light. Zeus hurriedly blinked away the afterimages and found Hera standing over him. Next to her was a slightly shell-shocked mortal lady. Lemonia, the girl Zeus had been wooing not half an hour earlier.

 

“Really? A forest? That's the best you could do?”

 

Zeus said nothing.

 

Hera sighed. “Well, I'm going to need a suitable punishment...” She turned to the girl and raised an eyebrow. “What do you think? Maybe a doe?”

 

Lemonia's eyes widened at the same time Zeus shouted “No! Not an animal. Please, don't turn her into a deer.”

 

Hera's expression soured. “Fine.” As quickly as the nasty expression had appeared, it left, replaced by one of deep thought. “Then how about a tree? We haven't had a new tree in a while. Not since Apollo chased that nymph around.”

 

Lemonia spat at Hera. Zeus winced.

 

Hera stiffened, reaching up to wipe her face. “It wasn't even going to be a bad tree. But now...” She flicked her finger, and where there had been a girl, there was now a medium-sized tree with small yellow fruit.

 

“What's that?” Zeus asked, morbidly curious.

 

“Hm. A... lemon tree.” Hera plucked one of the fruits off, inspected it, then tossed it at Zeus. “Here. Why don't you try?”

“Um...” Zeus eyed the yellow orb with apprehension.

 

“Oh, don't be silly. It's a tree, not a girl. Not anymore.”

 

He took it, sniffed lightly, and peeled it. He popped a chunk into his mouth and immediately spat it back out. “What in sweet Styx's name was that?”

 

“It's sour, dear.” Hera smiled. “Now every time you taste that fruit, you'll know how I feel.”

 

All Zeus could do was glare as they headed back to Mount Olympus.

 

Comments? Criticism? Cupcakes? Tell me what I did right, what I did wrong, and which one was your favorite.

 

Cheers! :D

Edited by Slowswift
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RE #1: Pretty good.

 I assume these are metaphorical days. If God takes a day for the world to be created and destroyed, this world will last a really long time.

Are the Five Warriors entirely mythical nebulous beings, do they have names, etc? You don't have to mention them in this myth, but something to think about.

 Critiques: The only major thing I took issue with was pretty minor, and that was the five Dangers. They were obviously based on the Four Horsemen concept (which, I might add, the "plagues" are not truly biblical, they are extrapolated from phrasing surrounding the horsemen verses), and especially with the fifth being "everything else" seem kind of weak. I would recommend coming up with five new ones. You can use some of the Plagues, but don't make it obvious. At the very least, change some names and add a fifth.

 

I'll get to #2 later. Probably.

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#2 is actually really good, makes a lot of sense as well. #1 is also really interesting although the ' the world will end when these 5 warriors fail in their duty' is pretty cliche,(Norse mythology), Ragnarok will come when Jormungandr lets go of his tail. Have some cupcakes,you deserve them.

RE #1: Pretty good.

 I assume these are metaphorical days. If God takes a day for the world to be created and destroyed, this world will last a really long time.

Are the Five Warriors entirely mythical nebulous beings, do they have names, etc? You don't have to mention them in this myth, but something to think about.

 Critiques: The only major thing I took issue with was pretty minor, and that was the five Dangers. They were obviously based on the Four Horsemen concept (which, I might add, the "plagues" are not truly biblical, they are extrapolated from phrasing surrounding the horsemen verses), and especially with the fifth being "everything else" seem kind of weak. I would recommend coming up with five new ones. You can use some of the Plagues, but don't make it obvious. At the very least, change some names and add a fifth.

 

I'll get to #2 later. Probably.

In Islam, the UNIVERSE was created in 7 days and nights, so god's creation being created and destroyed In a day isn't so far-fetched. I don't know what you mean by metaphorical though, I mean, after all, he is God.

P.S How come he gets tired in 10 days and his 5 warriors don't? Assuming that God created the world when the Big Bang is supposed to have occurred.

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So... Shield of God

 

I liked it. As Peasent pointed out, there is a little similarity to Norse mythology -the name of the planet has a norse-feel to it- but I like it. Heck, that vibe actually fits very well with the cycle concept; part of Ragnarok includes the fact that the destruction of the world will be followed by the establishment of a new world. 

 

As for the five shield bearers... I kind of like the four horseman thing, but Gargoyle might have a point. If you plan on using this as a starting point for a setting, then I'd agree with changing it. It would be a pretty good way to establish some cultural mores for the society in question... and then there immediately is some conflict if people begin moving away from those traditional views. 

 

This story has kind of intrigued me as to what this cultures idea of the Devil is. After all, Norse (and other) mythologies tend to go with the idea of the Devil as the Trickster. This society, however, is one that is founded on the belief that the devil has already destroyed the world multiple times. I'm kind of curious how that might reflect onto the rest of society; I imagine that creative pursuits might be more valued (in imitation of god creating the World and the Shield) whereas Destructive pursuits would be the devil's domain, but... that's random spitballing.

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RE #1: Pretty good.

 I assume these are metaphorical days. If God takes a day for the world to be created and destroyed, this world will last a really long time.

Are the Five Warriors entirely mythical nebulous beings, do they have names, etc? You don't have to mention them in this myth, but something to think about.

 Critiques: The only major thing I took issue with was pretty minor, and that was the five Dangers. They were obviously based on the Four Horsemen concept (which, I might add, the "plagues" are not truly biblical, they are extrapolated from phrasing surrounding the horsemen verses), and especially with the fifth being "everything else" seem kind of weak. I would recommend coming up with five new ones. You can use some of the Plagues, but don't make it obvious. At the very least, change some names and add a fifth.

 

I'll get to #2 later. Probably.

 

Yeah, I tried. ;) I just gave up and went with that, as I was under some slight pressure (namely, that of it being 10 pm and due the next day). Thanks for your comments!

 

#2 is actually really good, makes a lot of sense as well. #1 is also really interesting although the ' the world will end when these 5 warriors fail in their duty' is pretty cliche,(Norse mythology), Ragnarok will come when Jormungandr lets go of his tail. Have some cupcakes,you deserve them. In Islam, the UNIVERSE was created in 7 days and nights, so god's creation being created and destroyed In a day isn't so far-fetched. I don't know what you mean by metaphorical though, I mean, after all, he is God.

P.S How come he gets tired in 10 days and his 5 warriors don't? Assuming that God created the world when the Big Bang is supposed to have occurred.

 

Um. See, this is why I post here. To find all the plot holes sleep-deprived me misses. Thanks!

 

So... Shield of God

 

I liked it. As Peasent pointed out, there is a little similarity to Norse mythology -the name of the planet has a norse-feel to it- but I like it. Heck, that vibe actually fits very well with the cycle concept; part of Ragnarok includes the fact that the destruction of the world will be followed by the establishment of a new world. 

 

As for the five shield bearers... I kind of like the four horseman thing, but Gargoyle might have a point. If you plan on using this as a starting point for a setting, then I'd agree with changing it. It would be a pretty good way to establish some cultural mores for the society in question... and then there immediately is some conflict if people begin moving away from those traditional views. 

 

This story has kind of intrigued me as to what this cultures idea of the Devil is. After all, Norse (and other) mythologies tend to go with the idea of the Devil as the Trickster. This society, however, is one that is founded on the belief that the devil has already destroyed the world multiple times. I'm kind of curious how that might reflect onto the rest of society; I imagine that creative pursuits might be more valued (in imitation of god creating the World and the Shield) whereas Destructive pursuits would be the devil's domain, but... that's random spitballing.

 

Thanks for the feedback!

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So... Shield of God

 

I liked it. As Peasent pointed out, there is a little similarity to Norse mythology -the name of the planet has a norse-feel to it- but I like it. Heck, that vibe actually fits very well with the cycle concept; part of Ragnarok includes the fact that the destruction of the world will be followed by the establishment of a new world. 

 

As for the five shield bearers... I kind of like the four horseman thing, but Gargoyle might have a point. If you plan on using this as a starting point for a setting, then I'd agree with changing it. It would be a pretty good way to establish some cultural mores for the society in question... and then there immediately is some conflict if people begin moving away from those traditional views. 

 

This story has kind of intrigued me as to what this cultures idea of the Devil is. After all, Norse (and other) mythologies tend to go with the idea of the Devil as the Trickster. This society, however, is one that is founded on the belief that the devil has already destroyed the world multiple times. I'm kind of curious how that might reflect onto the rest of society; I imagine that creative pursuits might be more valued (in imitation of god creating the World and the Shield) whereas Destructive pursuits would be the devil's domain, but... that's random spitballing.

I see now. In this world, God and the Devilare equal in power. Perhaps the devil has his own followers?
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