Guest Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide! The Invisible Killer Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death. Dihydrogen monoxide: is also known as hydroxyl acid, and is the major component of acid rain. contributes to the "greenhouse effect." may cause severe burns. contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape. accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals. may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes. has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients. Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions! Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California. Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used: as an industrial solvent and coolant. in nuclear power plants. in the production of styrofoam. as a fire retardant. in many forms of cruel animal research. in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical. as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products. Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer! The Horror Must Be Stopped! The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use. Call your Congressman/woman or Senator today!
Glamdring804 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 *scratches head* Did you also know 70% of the human body by weight is dihydrogen monoxide? This might explain how it contributes to so many deaths... 5
Guest Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Wait, really?! Storms, I better...wait, is there anything we can do about that?
Young Bard he/him Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) Oh dear. I heard of one plan however, in which the government tried to get rid of this dangerous substance by diluting it in water . EDIT: By the way, I think there is a special process you can undergo to remove this substance. But it is not perfected, and many relatives and friends have said that the patient has... changed afterwards. They usually need to rest in a specially manufactured bed, and stay almost permanently in a safe underground environment. Edited June 8, 2015 by TheYoungBard 9
skaa he/him Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I remember using this as a topic for a class activity back when I was in school. Nobody (not even the teacher) got it. Made me want to jump into a vat full of oxidane. 12
Kaymyth she/her Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Over 50% of our oceans have now tested positive for significant quantities of this chemical! 1
Young Bard he/him Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Fantastic! Where can I learn about this process? It's mostly found in the Sahara Desert, but is available in other regions too. 1
Observer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I have more faith in the intelligence of our Sharders than saying this might imply, but just in case you don't get the joke by this point: Dyhydrogen Monoxide is water. There are some pretty good records from when senators try to get this stuff banned, only to be shut down by people who actually did their research in blunt and hilarious fashion. 4
Guest Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Aw, man, you spoiled the joke. ...played on me! I didn't know that DHMO is water.
ThirdGen Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Bartenders are often accused of using DHMO as an additive to increase their profits. Speaking of chemical dependency, most people exposed to DHMO become utterly dependent on it. Marathoners usually have issues regulating their DHMO levels, which can impact their performance if they get too low. 5
Glamdring804 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I have more faith in the intelligence of our Sharders than saying this might imply, but just in case you don't get the joke by this point: Dyhydrogen Monoxide is water. There are some pretty good records from when senators try to get this stuff banned, only to be shut down by people who actually did their research in blunt and hilarious fashion. *ignores this naysayer* Evidence of dihydrogen monoxide has even been found on other planets!
Kobold King he/him Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Symptoms of dihydrogen monoxide poisoning can include: Fluids in mouth Moisture around eyeballs Perspiration of liquid from the skin Dissolution of chemicals within cell membranes. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may already have assimilated an irreversible quantity of dihydrogen monoxide poisoning into your body.
ThirdGen Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I've heard stories of people disciplining their cats by exposing them to DMHO. The street name for this is "spritzing." 1
Kobold King he/him Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I've heard stories of people disciplining their cats by exposing them to DMHO. The street name for this is "spritzing." Those poor animals. We only use good old-fashioned aqua in our spritzer bottles. Using industrial grade chemicals on pets is just sick. 3
Moonskin she/her Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 So true! were is the PETA when we need them ?
mail-mi he/him Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 It's true! And dihydrogen monoxide is also one of the leading causes for electronics failure! The government needs to get on this!
Mistrunner Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 California's on it. There's hardly any of it there. 8
Glamdring804 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 California's on it. There's hardly any of it there. Good job on California's job. I also hear Northern Africa is really on top of that. 1
Fatebreaker he/him Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Wait, really?! Storms, I better...wait, is there anything we can do about that? We of the DA can assist anyone who wishes to have this harmful chemical purged from their body. Our methods are quick and painless and we guarantee you'll remain dihydrogenmonoxide free! California's on it. There's hardly any of it there. Yeah, we're doing pretty well on the de-dihydrogenmonoxidation. Yay droughts... 2
skaa he/him Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Yeah, we're doing pretty well on the de-dihydrogenmonoxidation. Yay droughts... I sense a bit of sarcasm there. You're a DHMO addict, aren't you?!!! I'm secretly addicted to the stuff, as well. Please don't tell anyone. 6
Fatebreaker he/him Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 ...yeah, you got me. I've tried kicking the habit, but it's just so hard man. Every day I need my fix, or I start going through withdrawl. My throat gets dry, my voice starts getting hoarse, and I get light-headed. I've been trying alternatives, like cow-juice, Liquid Bread, and the blood of the oranges, but nothing seems to cut it...
Mistrunner Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 ...yeah, you got me. I've tried kicking the habit, but it's just so hard man. Every day I need my fix, or I start going through withdrawl. My throat gets dry, my voice starts getting hoarse, and I get light-headed. I've been trying alternatives, like cow-juice, Liquid Bread, and the blood of the oranges, but nothing seems to cut it... Not to mention the fact that the withdrawal makes you smell terrible. 2
Elsecaller3414 she/her Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 It has also been found at the site of just about every school shooting in America. Those with an "addiction" to this substance don't usually live longer than three days without it. I got fooled by this once and I never got over the shame... over half my class really knew what it was, so I was blushing really badly.
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