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A song about what we currently know of Prof's life, set to the tune of the greatest theme song ever written. Inspired by this conversation, where Prof was re-imagined as a late 80s/early 90s rapper named Jonny Phaedru$. 

 

Apologies if you have the aforementioned theme song in your head for days after reading this. :P

 

Now this is a story all about how

The world got flipped, turned upside-down

And I'd like to take a minute, just sit there, son

I'll tell you 'bout the damage Calamity's done 

 

In modern America, born and raised

In a classroom's where I spent most of my days

Teaching fifth graders inside of a school

Equipping them for the next year with all the right tools

 

When a big red star that was up to no good

Started shining in my neighborhood

I went on a Rending and Tia got scared

Said "The sparks, Jonny, it's like you don't even care!"

 

I found Abigail and guy named Mirkwood

Formed a team, like superheroes should

But the corruption was strong and Abby kinda sucked

We parted ways and that idea was chucked

 

I wasn't quite sure just what to do 

Calamity was 'bout to drop the other shoe

When I started a team, made of regular guys

Said "Let's take these monsters down before they can rise!" 

 

Well, we killed Redleaf and Fortuity

Picked up a kid who said "Listen to me,

"You kill small 'taters, and yeah they've got to go

"But kill Steelheart so your strength'll really show."

 

So I fought Steelheart there on Soldier Field

​Would've died but with the quickness I healed

Would've lost my mind, but David won

Finished him off and I said "Good job, son." 

 

Then Instabam lured us up to Babilar

With flowers that looked super bizarre 

​Now Regalia's cookin' up some crazy scheme

Like corrupting ME? Nah, just a pipe dream!

Edited by TwiLyghtSansSparkles
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One of my former highschool teachers reportedly had to narrate an audiobook once. He made it to the last page and then wound up going into Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

I'd assume he edited that out to actually hand the recording in, but I never found out.

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