Voidus Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Impact and Tsundere!MV post up.I'd really appreciate any feedback about them, I haven't written a lot of female characters in the past so I've tried to do quite a few in the RP to stretch my skills a bit. While they're largely just stereotypes (Yandere!Neverthere, Tsundere!MV) I'm trying to get certain elements of realism in there so if anything strikes anyone as too completely out of character please let me know.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Impact and Tsundere!MV post up. I'd really appreciate any feedback about them, I haven't written a lot of female characters in the past so I've tried to do quite a few in the RP to stretch my skills a bit. While they're largely just stereotypes (Yandere!Neverthere, Tsundere!MV) I'm trying to get certain elements of realism in there so if anything strikes anyone as too completely out of character please let me know. I'm not seeing anything unrealistic about them. MV's awkwardness and frustration with herself comes across wonderfully. 1
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Impact and Tsundere!MV post up. I'd really appreciate any feedback about them, I haven't written a lot of female characters in the past so I've tried to do quite a few in the RP to stretch my skills a bit. While they're largely just stereotypes (Yandere!Neverthere, Tsundere!MV) I'm trying to get certain elements of realism in there so if anything strikes anyone as too completely out of character please let me know. Impact in a one-on-one duel with Deathwish? MV briefly turning into the world's most socially awkward tomato? Awesome. I haven't observed anything unrealistic or OOC from your writing, for what my opinion's worth. You're an excellent writer. One thing that just occurred to me earlier--not a criticism but an observation--given that David apparently makes his Megan a teensy bit less evil when he's around her, is it possible that the Momentum Twins have stayed sane as long as they have through their love for one another? 1
Voidus Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I'm not seeing anything unrealistic about them. MV's awkwardness and frustration with herself comes across wonderfully. Impact in a one-on-one duel with Deathwish? MV briefly turning into the world's most socially awkward tomato? Awesome. I haven't observed anything unrealistic or OOC from your writing, for what my opinion's worth. You're an excellent writer. One thing that just occurred to me earlier--not a criticism but an observation--given that David apparently makes his Megan a teensy bit less evil when he's around her, is it possible that the Momentum Twins have stayed sane as long as they have through their love for one another? *Blushes only slightly less than MV*Thanks guys. You're definitely on the right track and I did actually add a fair bit to their backstory after I finished Firefight, essentially they both stopped each others Rendings very shortly after starting them. Depending how things go with Backtrack I may PM you about some of their history and planned future. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 *Blushes only slightly less than MV* Thanks guys. You're definitely on the right track and I did actually add a fair bit to their backstory after I finished Firefight, essentially they both stopped each others Rendings very shortly after starting them. Depending how things go with Backtrack I may PM you about some of their history and planned future. This pleases the Shipmistress. 2
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) *Blushes only slightly less than MV* Thanks guys. You're definitely on the right track and I did actually add a fair bit to their backstory after I finished Firefight, essentially they both stopped each others Rendings very shortly after starting them. Depending how things go with Backtrack I may PM you about some of their history and planned future. 'Cuz it's not like you like us or anything. Ooh! Backstory tidbits? Out of curiosity, what do I have to do to increase my likelihood of hearing these backstory details? Edited May 5, 2015 by Kobold King 3
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 'Cuz it's not like you like us or anything. Ooh! Backstory tidbits? Out of curiosity, what do I have to do to increase my likelihood of hearing these backstory details? Every time I see that otter, I just want to hold him on my lap while he eats that ice cream sandwich. 2
Voidus Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 'Cuz it's not like you like us or anything. Ooh! Backstory tidbits? Out of curiosity, what do I have to do to increase my likelihood of hearing these backstory details? Not entirely sure, at this point MV's almost certainly going back to Portland with Backtrack since Shiny will probably recognize Impact and report on what happened to her, she loves her sister but she's not going to help her take over the Dalles but neither would she want to join the city guard and have to fight her so Portland's the only option now, the plan being that once the turf wars there are finished she could convince Lightwards to help her get Impact back. So the ships definitely on its way, although I don't know that it will ever be complete unless Backtrack gets his sunglasses back 2
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Not entirely sure, at this point MV's almost certainly going back to Portland with Backtrack since Shiny will probably recognize Impact and report on what happened to her, she loves her sister but she's not going to help her take over the Dalles but neither would she want to join the city guard and have to fight her so Portland's the only option now, the plan being that once the turf wars there are finished she could convince Lightwards to help her get Impact back. So the ships definitely on its way, although I don't know that it will ever be complete unless Backtrack gets his sunglasses back I meant more along the lines of "Which Epic's weakness would I have to send you," but that all makes sense too. (Lightwards is unlikely to be cooperative, though--invading The Dalles and trying to orchestrate a reunion between two Epic sisters can't really be easily factored into his to-do list. ) 1
Voidus Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I meant more along the lines of "Which Epic's weakness would I have to send you," but that all makes sense too. (Lightwards is unlikely to be cooperative, though--invading The Dalles and trying to orchestrate a reunion between two Epic sisters can't really be easily factored into his to-do list. ) Well if you want to give me more Epic weaknesses... I thought as much, how likely would he be to string her along for a while to secure her help though?
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Well if you want to give me more Epic weaknesses... I thought as much, how likely would he be to string her along for a while to secure her help though? How many of my Epics' weaknesses do you know already? I've copy-and-pasted enough weakness descriptions that I have a hard time remembering who's gotten what so far. As long as he could. On the bright side he'd treat her with a lot more politeness than he treats Backtrack. 1
Voidus Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 How many of my Epics' weaknesses do you know already? I've copy-and-pasted enough weakness descriptions that I have a hard time remembering who's gotten what so far. As long as he could. On the bright side he'd treat her with a lot more politeness than he treats Backtrack. Let us take this into an Alan...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 (Lightwards is unlikely to be cooperative, though--invading The Dalles and trying to orchestrate a reunion between two Epic sisters can't really be easily factored into his to-do list. ) Because we all know what Lightwards is. 2
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Let us take this into an Alan... I'll be watching my inbox like a hawk. (Not like a Hawk, though. That would imply a sleaziness that does not exist between me and my inbox. ) Because we all know what Lightwards is. This is the best description of him I've seen in some time. 2
Voidus Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Because we all know what Lightwards is. A leprechaun king? 2
Comatose he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Every time I see that otter, I just want to hold him on my lap while he eats that ice cream sandwich. All that picture did for me is make me want an ice cream sandwich. Darn dairy sensitivity . How many of my Epics' weaknesses do you know already? I've copy-and-pasted enough weakness descriptions that I have a hard time remembering who's gotten what so far. As long as he could. On the bright side he'd treat her with a lot more politeness than he treats Backtrack. So you are saying I can use epic weaknesses as bargaining chips? Had I known that I would have been much less likely to give them away as I have. EDIT: Also, thanks for the feedback on Insight. I think the main thing that distinguishes him from Lockvault is that he can't take more things than he can carry with him (unless he brought a car or something in, but even then, he's limited) as well as the touch restriction. I intended his 'cognitive space' to be less extra-dimensional and more like another aspect or view of the physical world. I'll have to reread Sidestep and look-out for overlap.
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 So you are saying I can use epic weaknesses as bargaining chips? Had I known that I would have been much less likely to give them away as I have. No worries. I'm the kind of guy who'd hand out most Epic weaknesses just for asking nicely.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Yeah, I've been known to accept payment for weaknesses in pug pictures. 2
Voidus Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Yeah, I've been known to accept payment for weaknesses in pug pictures. If you share Nighthounds then I will compile every pug picture on the internet arranged by cuteness. 2
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 If you share Nighthounds then I will compile every pug picture on the internet arranged by cuteness. Eleven minutes since this proposal was offered and no sign of weakening. Our TwiLyght truly is a bastion of integrity, not yielding to corruption even when offered the world on a platter. 2
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Eleven minutes since this proposal was offered and no sign of weakening. Our TwiLyght truly is a bastion of integrity, not yielding to corruption even when offered the world on a platter. Like Dalinar Kholin, I am a man of honor. Except not a man. 2
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 Like Dalinar Kholin, I am a man of honor. Except not a man. Do you really think being a man of honor depends on anything so shallow as gender? If you follow the Codes, then you're a man of honor in my book. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted May 5, 2015 Author Posted May 5, 2015 Do you really think being a man of honor depends on anything so shallow as gender? If you follow the Codes, then you're a man of honor in my book. I do, except....I leave my safehand uncovered. 2
Kobold King he/him Posted May 5, 2015 Posted May 5, 2015 I do, except....I leave my safehand uncovered. I... I don't know what to say. And to think, all this time I've been reading posts typed with an uncovered safehand?! * shudder * 3
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