MrGinger128 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) Hi Guys, Yesterday, for the first time ever, I attempted to write a beginning of a story that's been rolling around my head for a good long while. A friend of mine had written 1000 words and asked me to read it so I thought i'd repay the favour. It took me around 30-40 minutes, and I haven't touched it since I finished it. Writing is something that i've wanted to do for a few years now but have never actually attempted at all until now. I guess the reason i'm posting this is that i'm worried that it's just a complete waste of time so I thought i'd ask a community I know isn't completely brutal to have a quick look and maybe someone could tell me if it's worth me expanding on the idea. Anyway, Thank you to anyone that reads. (EDIT - full 1st Draft Chapter 1) EDIT 2 - Small tiny change EDIT 3 - More small changes + added PDF version. The Dark of Night - Paperback size.pdf The Dark of Night - Paperback size.docx Edited January 20, 2016 by MrGinger128 6
+Slowswift Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Looks pretty good! Interesting idea; it would be fun to see it fleshed out and developed a bit. Could use some grammar/spelling sweeps, but I didn't find anything huge. But why's all the dialogue in italics, if I might ask?
DanTheSeamonster he/him Posted March 24, 2015 Posted March 24, 2015 Nice concept, interesting characters, good prose. I would pick up the finished product in a bookstore!
MrGinger128 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 Looks pretty good! Interesting idea; it would be fun to see it fleshed out and developed a bit. Could use some grammar/spelling sweeps, but I didn't find anything huge. But why's all the dialogue in italics, if I might ask? It's in Italics because.... It's not now Thank you guys, That was great to hear and i'm going to continue working on the concept!
MrGinger128 Posted March 24, 2015 Author Posted March 24, 2015 Sorry to double post but I don't know any pro writers so I thought i'd ask here. I currently intend on developing/tidying up this small section to the highest standard I can before moving on with the story in any way. Is this advisable? or do you think i'd have a better time writing more than going back and doing re-writes and things on a larger scale? Again Thank you so much for the words, i'm irrationally happy with you three internet strangers today!! Daniel.
Nicroburst he/him Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 It was good for me, was it good for you too? *ahem*But seriously, I see a lot of potential here.
Curious Anamaximder he/him Posted March 26, 2015 Posted March 26, 2015 Its very good! I hope to see more!
MrGinger128 Posted March 26, 2015 Author Posted March 26, 2015 Thank you guys! You will be seeing more! I hope to update my progress as i'm writing, I should have an updated draft of the re-write of what i've done so far. Thank you all SO much. I've had this story revolving around my head for a few years now (i'm 24) and my good friend influenced me to start writing it down. You guys however gave me the confidence to actually stick with it and if I ever finish i'll be eternally grateful haha Hope to update tonight! Daniel.
MrGinger128 Posted April 8, 2015 Author Posted April 8, 2015 Hi Guys, I've not had a chance to write as much as i'd like, but i've re-written a fair chunk of what I started with and thought i'd give it to you fine people for a look! Thank you all again for the fantastic words. I'm really hoping I can turn this into something. Anyway, it's attached and I've marked where i've gotten to. Thank you. Daniel The Dark of Night.docx
Tyson Posted April 10, 2015 Posted April 10, 2015 Good writing. Some long, daunting paragraphs but they flow nicely. Prose is simple and effective. Couple of things that I think needs improvement: 1. Lack of a hook. 2. Baige voice. 3. Names, names everywhere. 3 pages and my head felt ready to explode from information overload. All points that I have had to overcome in my earlier writing (and still have to watch out for)
MrGinger128 Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Hi Tyson! Thank you! I'll keep working at it and try to fix some of those points As for the hook one Does that hook need to come in the first chapter? It'll probably be end of chapter 2 before things start to get going! Thanks, Daniel
Tyson Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 Hooks rarely ever come in the first chapter, maybe more so in Young Adult writing. That's why good authors utilise a prologue as a kind of hook. It's not a biggy. Give him a more distinct voice and the majority of the problems are fixed. 1
MrGinger128 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Posted June 17, 2015 (edited) Hi Guys, it's been a LONG time but I have an update. Please see the attached. There may be story elements that contradict, I've yet to correct some errors, focusing on getting the story going a bit. Please let me know what you think Also I've just changed the formatting to fit with what i've been told is standard manuscript formatting, how is it for you guys? Thanks again. Daniel. EDIT - Changed attached to match updated product. + added PDF The Dark of Night - Paperback size.docx The Dark of Night - Paperback size.pdf Edited January 20, 2016 by MrGinger128
MrGinger128 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 (edited) DELETED. Edited January 20, 2016 by MrGinger128
RickAstley Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 I just crashed through both drafts just now. I'm noticing some vast improvement, keep it up and keep it interesting.
MrGinger128 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 (edited) Thank you Rick Astley, I knew you wouldn't give me up! Edited July 12, 2015 by MrGinger128 3
MrGinger128 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 I'm shamelessly bumping since i'm finding it difficult to continue ( Haven't touched it in a while)
MrGinger128 Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 Edited a tiny bit, any new feedback since I bumped it from 5 to 30-odd pages? having trouble getting people to read it that I don't know. 1
bobsaveg he/him Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Could you upload it in a iPad friendly format I can't open the attachment
MrGinger128 Posted January 18, 2016 Author Posted January 18, 2016 Could you upload it in a iPad friendly format I can't open the attachment The attached is a PDF, i'm not sure if that's cool. If not let me know because i'm desperate for feedback, If I have to record it like a bloody audiobook I will at this point haha. The Dark of Night - Paperback size.pdf
ChickenPlague he/him Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 It's good. Makes me think of Malazan book of the fallen. I would definitely pick it up.
MrGinger128 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 It's good. Makes me think of Malazan book of the fallen. I would definitely pick it up. For someone who hasn't written anything before that is a massive compliment (Although I really couldn't get into Malazan haha) Thank you!
MrGinger128 Posted January 27, 2016 Author Posted January 27, 2016 Can anyone confirm if the links work?
ChickenPlague he/him Posted January 27, 2016 Posted January 27, 2016 They do for me. Can anyone confirm if the links work?
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now