The Worst That Could Happen Foundation

[Mailliw73 he/him]

RAFO.

 

(An Epic is not responsible, I'm afraid. However awesome of a plot twist that would be. )

Dang it. It'd be a lot easier to deal with if that were the case.

I'll vote for the cellphone tapping too to see what we can listen in on. I vote that's free getting a sense of what's going on, we send a message through the phones letting them know we are willing to talk with them.

[Frosted Flakes]

I vote that we look for viruses and bacteria that are extremely lethal to elephants but that are harmless to humans. We should at least begin genetically engineering a virus as a contingency. Something that will stop their cellular respiration and kill them quickly.

Edit::If cell phones win, we should inform them that they've committed an act of war on humanity and we're gonna kill them if they don't knock it off.

Edited March 2, 2015 by Frosted Flakes

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

I vote that we look for viruses and bacteria that are extremely lethal to elephants but that are harmless to humans. We should at least begin genetically engineering a virus as a contingency. Something that will stop their cellular respiration and kill them quickly.

Edit::If cell phones win, we should inform them that they've committed an act of war on humanity and we're gonna kill them if they don't knock it off.

Ahh, let's not and say we did. You realise that they are capable of getting to our planet without us humans being aware of it. This suggests to me that they have technologies far beyond our capabilities. Even if they do not have capabilities far beyond ours they are a new species, why not try and communicate with them.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

So Tap cell phones for an hour, make the call, Ask what their demands are, then. . .

 

Are we willing to negotiate with terrorists? Because I am.

[Kobold King he/him]

I vote that we look for viruses and bacteria that are extremely lethal to elephants but that are harmless to humans. We should at least begin genetically engineering a virus as a contingency. Something that will stop their cellular respiration and kill them quickly.

Edit::If cell phones win, we should inform them that they've committed an act of war on humanity and we're gonna kill them if they don't knock it off.

 

Nice idea--I applaud your thinking outside the box here! With that said, I think genetically engineering a virus to fit this scenario would likely take months at the very least, and you would require a degree of information on these elephant's bodies that you do not possess. In addition my brief bit of Wikipedia research suggests that viruses that affect Asian elephants are seldom capable of infecting African elephants or vice versa, and since the stormtroopers are neither, it's unlikely that you could find a natural disease capable of killing them in the necessary time frame.

 

 

So Tap cell phones for an hour, make the call, Ask what their demands are, then. . .

 

Are we willing to negotiate with terrorists? Because I am.

 

If that's your decision, I'll begin compiling the data you receive from this course of action.

 

First contact ahoy.

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

So Tap cell phones for an hour, make the call, Ask what their demands are, then. . .

Are we willing to negotiate with terrorists? Because I am.

Terrorists? Really? At most they are a preliminary force for invasion.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Yeah, attacking the elephants right off the bat wouldn't be the best unless we know that we have the upper hand. Which we don't know. At all.

I think we're all basically agreed on the phone tapping procedure.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

At the very least they're Kidnappers, and why would an Invasion force attack a small florida town of 300 people?

[Kobold King he/him]

At the very least they're Kidnappers, and why would an Invasion force attack a small florida town of 300 people?

 

Interesting thoughts. No comment from me.

 

 

Are you in agreement that your first message will be a simple request to hear their demands?

[Frosted Flakes]

I agree that it will take months to engineer a virus, so as soon as we have some elephant corpses to work with we should get that ball rolling behind the scenes.

By sending a small initial force, we can assume that their goal isn't wanton destruction, but rather tactical exploitation. Whether they want to enslave humans, or dominate them to secure an earthly resource, we don't know. But we can assume that by traveling to earth their society probably also has the means to destroy earth. Since they're not destroying the earth we can assume there is something of value here.

First, we need to work on identifying whatever condition or resource they're interested in. Depending on its nature, we'll have to decide how to proceed.

Secondly, we need to work on making the Earth too harsh an environment to be worth their while. I propose flooding earth with a virus that's extremely deadly to them, but harmless to terrestrial life.

Also...it would be amusing to see how they react to regular earth elephants.

[Redbird he/him]

Are the elephants extraterrestrial in origin? Or maybe a better question, have they ever not been on the earth? 

[Kobold King he/him]

Are the elephants extraterrestrial in origin? Or maybe a better question, have they ever not been on the earth? 

 

Answering your question with information your Foundation has access to:

 

They are morphologically very similar to the mammoths of Earth's prehistoric eras, though they cannot be identified as any particular species. Thus you cannot determine at this point whether or not their individual species has existed on this Earth.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Have they ever read How to Invade an Alien Planet?

 

And I would recommend the rest of you read, or at least skim, If I Am Ever Head of an Alien Monitoring Agency.

[Kobold King he/him]

Have they ever read How to Invade an Alien Planet?

 

And I would recommend the rest of you read, or at least skim, If I Am Ever Head of an Alien Monitoring Agency.

Those are hilarious. Thanks for those links, Joe.

Though as a general reminder, which may or may not be applicable for this situation... elephants are not humans. While some strategies are universal across sapient races, one cannot always assume that non-humans will fight a human style of war for human reasons.

[Lindel he/him]

So we've decided to initiate contact by tapping the hostages' cell phones. What's our plan if the elephants don't understand any of languages we're capable of communicating in? What if they communicate primarily through low-frequency sounds which are outside the range of the human ear, similar to normal Earth elephants? If this is the case, which I'm beginning to suspect it will be, we'd need to set up infrasound arrays just to detect what they're saying, much less begin translating. This could get very complicated very quickly...

 

Of course, it's possible the elephants aren't even sentient. They might be under the control of an entirely separate force that wishes to remain unseen, which could simplify things, but would also make our position much more precarious. The less we understand, the less we can accomplish.

[Lindel he/him]

We don't have the data to answer these questions yet. Hopefully, if we establish contact, we'll be able to shed some light on these issues.

 

In your proposed scenario, we lose all the hostages and potentially bring down retribution from the elephant's possible accomplices or allies. Not to mention an air raid would accomplish exactly the same result with less chance of the attack going terribly wrong. This will depend on whether the elephants have air support, of course. 

Edited March 2, 2015 by Lindel

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Are these elephants part of a larger organization, or are they acting alone? 

Will more be arriving, and if so, will they be in the same place?

 

If all other measures fail, we could stuff an the less important parts of several Earthling elephants' bodies with explosives, and send them in as if we expect a hostage exchange. A remote detonation would most likely do the job. 

 

edit : grammatical error

 

No. If we are sending in something to explode we will NOT be using innocent elephants. That you would even suggest this is somewhat disgusting. How about if we do this we use a remote droid car or as someone suggested a airstrike.

[Frosted Flakes]

I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I've concluded that the elephants are the creations/minions of another race, which is almost certainly extra terrestrial in nature.

Fact: Elephants lack the biological physiology to create fire or to perform micro-manipulations of the environment. For a creature to create technology, they absolutely must meet two criteria: First, they must be land based organisms and secondly, they must have small, pulpy appendages capable of fine adjustments. Without those two things, a species could never make fire. Without fire, technology is impossible.

Obviously the elephants are land based organisms. That checks out. But, even with their trucks, I doubt they're able to create fire with them. This suggest some other intelligence is responsible for their evolution.

Anyway, I agree with the explosive filled elephant deception. If we can convince them to exchange their hostages for our elephants, then we can safely detonate them without human casualties.

Remember, the life of one human is worth more than the lives of every living elephant. I suggest using pregnant females, as most species have an instincts to protect females - especially pregnant ones. A baby or two would also be appropriate.

What we do may be distasteful, but we need to save those hostages and protect humanity. At any cost.

[SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him]

Anyway, I agree with the explosive filled elephant deception. If we can convince them to exchange their hostages for our elephants, then we can safely detonate them without human casualties.

Remember, the life of one human is worth more than the lives of every living elephant. I suggest using pregnant females, as most species have an instincts to protect females - especially pregnant ones. A baby or two would also be appropriate.

What we do may be distasteful, but we need to save those hostages and protect humanity. At any cost.

 

 

How can any intelligent creature sit there and say that one member of a species is worth more than the entirety of another? What standards are you using to measure this 'worth'. 

 

I have never down-voted anyone, except accidentally, but that one comment has me tempted to down-vote any and all posts you make on this site. 

 

I aware that this is a game but never joke about this, these sorts of opinions make me deeply ashamed of the human race.

Edited March 2, 2015 by SmurfAquamarineBodies

[Edgedancer he/him]

*Joins in*

Currently I'm on board with Joe and the cellphone tapping here.

 

Kobold, you mentioned we have satelit footage, does it show any signs of communication between the elephants themselves or the people they are herding, as well as their systematic of herding citizen and destroying the town?

 

 

I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I've concluded that the elephants are the creations/minions of another race, which is almost certainly extra terrestrial in nature.

Fact: Elephants lack the biological physiology to create fire or to perform micro-manipulations of the environment. For a creature to create technology, they absolutely must meet two criteria: First, they must be land based organisms and secondly, they must have small, pulpy appendages capable of fine adjustments. Without those two things, a species could never make fire. Without fire, technology is impossible.

Obviously the elephants are land based organisms. That checks out. But, even with their trucks, I doubt they're able to create fire with them. This suggest some other intelligence is responsible for their evolution.

Anyway, I agree with the explosive filled elephant deception. If we can convince them to exchange their hostages for our elephants, then we can safely detonate them without human casualties.

Remember, the life of one human is worth more than the lives of every living elephant. I suggest using pregnant females, as most species have an instincts to protect females - especially pregnant ones. A baby or two would also be appropriate.

What we do may be distasteful, but we need to save those hostages and protect humanity. At any cost.

Two problems with your plans logic that are not connected to morality:

1)They could have apandexes we don't know of, like tentacles inside their trunks.

2)If they are only minions their superiors probably wouldn't fall for the deception and could start violent methods in retaliation and even if the plan would work the actual threat would still be around.

Edited March 2, 2015 by Edgedancer

[Frosted Flakes]

How can any intelligent creature sit there and say that one member of a species is worth more than the entirety of another? What standards are you using to measure this 'worth'.

I have never down-voted anyone, except accidentally, but that one comment has me tempted to down-vote any and all posts you make on this site.

I aware that this is a game but never joke about this, these sorts of opinions make me deeply ashamed of the human race.

Feel free to down vote any of my posts, but please do so on and individual basis. It's entirely appropriate to down vote a post you disagree with strongly; but to go through my past, unrelated posts and down vote those would be petty.

Anyway, I don't think it's uncommon for people to feel the same way I do, though they certainly would not be so blunt. My question for you is, why do you place so little value on human life?

Edit: Just to clarify, I don't want there to be bad blood between us. I'm just curious to how you came to your conclusions. How would you explain to the families of the hostages that their loved ones are still captive or even dead because you didn't want to kill a handful of elephants to save them? I'm not saying we should kill all elephants - I'm just saying that human lives are priceless and elephant lives are not. Therefore, one human life, being priceless, is worth more than the entirety of elephants.

And honestly. If, right now, you just found out that elephants have been extinct for half a year, would you have even noticed? I don't thinkthe fate of elephants impacts anyone's lives one way or the other.

Edited March 2, 2015 by Frosted Flakes

[the Gleeman he/him]

Ok, I'd like to join. 

 

Why don't we hire some elephant behavior scientists to monitor the elephants and compare them to our known elephants? I do agree with the phone tap idea first though.

 

Also, are these elephants, by chance, from Alpor Nok? 

[Edgedancer he/him]

So the votes are: (I think, it's kinda hard to tally without colors highlighting the votes.)

7 contact via cellphone tapping

1 contact via robot

1~2 violent methods (not sure if Chouta wants to contact them first as well)

 

Kobold, how much of a majority do we need?

Edited March 2, 2015 by Edgedancer

[Kobold King he/him]

Kobold, you mentioned we have satelit footage, does it show any signs of communication between the elephants themselves or the people they are herding, as well as their systematic of herding citizen and destroying the town?

 

Good question. While it's hard to tell whether they're communicating from the satellite imagery alone, it is clear that the elephants are disciplined as well as organized. They have herded a large number of citizens into the barn on the town's outskirts--at least a hundred, far more than the barn could reasonably hold.

 

 

 

Ok, I'd like to join. 

 

Why don't we hire some elephant behavior scientists to monitor the elephants and compare them to our known elephants? I do agree with the phone tap idea first though.

 

Also, are these elephants, by chance, from Alpor Nok? 

 

Good to have you! Good to have all of you, really. I'm glad people have taken an interest in the gun-toting elephant terrorist scenario. Everyone in Real Life I've talked to about this have only rolled their eyes at me.

 

Elephant behaviorists are a good idea.

 

Uh... no. Sorry, but I don't know what Alpor Nok is. If it helps, they're not from an established fictional universe.

 

 

 

With the votes collected, I have written the following with the assumption that the Foundation has opted to tap the cellphones for an hour before asking to hear to hear the hostage-taker's demands.

 

 

The lines are quiet, for the most part. Aside from the occasional whimpers and unintelligible whispering from the hostages--all of which is cut off by abrupt trumpeting--the only sound is steady rumbling from the elephants, and twice the brief whirring of what sounds like a vast machine. The whirring is always accompanied by trumpets and rumbles from the hostage takers.

 

After an hour of listening, the Foundation makes itself known. The phone rings for scarcely a minute before it is answered and switched to speaker mode.

 

"We received the images you made public," the Foundation representative says. "We ask what you demand in exchange for the safe return of the hostages."

 

Deep rumbling is heard from over the line, before the phone is answered by the shaky voice of a teenager.

 

"Um... hi," the kid says weakly, sounding almost too terrified to speak. "My n-name is K-Kyle Lawrence. I am the representative--" a sharp trumpet comes over the line -- "N-no, the instrument of He Who Trumpets Before The Storm... First Lord over the Twentieth War-Herd... Charger across the Invisible Sea... S-son of the Great Westernmost Empire."

 

The teenager gulps, but continues over the deep growling in the background. "The T-twentieth War-Herd has greatly enjoyed this Charge. They say they will come to this world again, as will their sons, and their s-son's sons, and next time the city they strike will be far larger. All of m-mankind's cities and lives are forfeit."

 

The kid's voice breaks off with a squeak, and the rumbling intensifies for a moment. "While the Ch-charge cannot be stopped, H-he Who Trumpets B-before The Storm is m-merciful and w-wise. If no human warriors challenge him, he will return the s-surviving prisoners unharmed, now and on all forthcoming Charges. If he and his, uh, men are allowed to destroy whatever they like, wherever they like, then he will keep human casualties to a minimum."

 

Another pause comes over the line before Kyle speaks again, his voice even weaker than before. "You... you have a day to respond. Tomorrow morning, they will... destroy a city. If they meet no major opposition, they will ensure the survival of at least half of the population. If they are fought, then they will extinguish the lives of every man, woman and child. On this you have the oath of He Who Trumpets Before the Storm."

 

And with those parting words, the call is disconnected.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

That's not good. We need to figure out how the War-herd is communicating with Kyle. We also need a way to neutralize this threat Today.

 

Kobold, do we have Satellite imagery of the Elephants fighting? We need to figure out how to best combat them before tomorrow.