Question 5

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Yeah, Backtrack's got nothing to say and I think constantly showing his sniveling internal monologue gets old after a while. Your move I suppose.

I've got no Christmas plans to speak of.

Out of curiosity, what are the chances of him actually running screaming for the hills, flapping his arms like a penguin?

[Kobold King he/him]

Out of curiosity, what are the chances of him actually running screaming for the hills, flapping his arms like a penguin?

 

Not very good. He's far more likely to drop to the floor and hope his irregular bathing habits convince all Epics present that he died three weeks ago.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Not very good. He's far more likely to drop to the floor and hope his irregular bathing habits convince all Epics present that he died three weeks ago.

"And here we see the Backtrack, taken from its natural habitat," the bland-voiced narrator intoned. "This is a usual occurrence for the Backtrack, as its natural habitat is a home or apartment that is unlikely to be attacked and is equipped with internet access and a Netflix subscription. When threatened, the Backtrack utilizes one of two defense mechanisms. The first involves attaching itself to the strongest predator in the area in an attempt to receive protection from other predators which pose a danger to the Backtrack. The second involves lying upon the ground and attempting to use it's offensive stench to fool predators into thinking it has been dead for some time. As most predators are not idiots, the Backtrack utilizes the second mechanism sparingly."

[Kobold King he/him]

"And here we see the Backtrack, taken from its natural habitat," the bland-voiced narrator intoned. "This is a usual occurrence for the Backtrack, as its natural habitat is a home or apartment that is unlikely to be attacked and is equipped with internet access and a Netflix subscription. When threatened, the Backtrack utilizes one of two defense mechanisms. The first involves attaching itself to the strongest predator in the area in an attempt to receive protection from other predators which pose a danger to the Backtrack. The second involves lying upon the ground and attempting to use it's offensive stench to fool predators into thinking it has been dead for some time. As most predators are not idiots, the Backtrack utilizes the second mechanism sparingly."

 

"Some of the Backtrack's natural predators include the Nighthound, the most universally reviled of carnivores, and the Koschei, which is actually extinct. The Backtrack as a species seems unaware of this, however, and continues to recoil in fear at the mere mention of the organism.

 

"Of particular interest is the interaction between the Backtrack and the Lightwards. One Backtrack, after faking its own death, managed to convince a Lightwards that he was its mindless zombie servant for three months before his attempt to flirt with a pretty girl ended his ruse."

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"Some of the Backtrack's natural predators include the Nighthound, the most universally reviled of carnivores, and the Koschei, which is actually extinct. The Backtrack as a species seems unaware of this, however, and continues to recoil in fear at the mere mention of the organism.

"Of particular interest is the interaction between the Backtrack and the Lightwards. One Backtrack, after faking its own death, managed to convince a Lightwards that he was its mindless zombie servant for three months before his attempt to flirt with a pretty girl ended his ruse."

"This occurrence demonstrates an unusual characteristic of the Lightwards. For although the Lightwards wishes to become not only the dominant sentient species, but the only sentient species, the Lightwards exhibits an almost violent revulsion toward finding a mate. As a result of this peculiar disinclination, the Lightwards has developed a virus whereby it forcibly transforms members of another species into members of its own species. Needless to say, this virus has made it the natural enemy of the Remington, which has been known to attach itself to the most unusual predator it could find in an attempt to eradicate the Lightwards."

[Kobold King he/him]

"This occurrence demonstrates an unusual characteristic of the Lightwards. For although the Lightwards wishes to become not only the dominant sentient species, but the only sentient species, the Lightwards exhibits an almost violent revulsion toward finding a mate. As a result of this peculiar disinclination, the Lightwards has developed a virus whereby it forcibly transforms members of another species into members of its own species. Needless to say, this virus has made it the natural enemy of the Remington, which has been known to attach itself to the most unusual predator it could find in an attempt to eradicate the Lightwards."

 

"The Funtimes is undoubtedly one of the most bizarre lifeforms known to modern Epizoology. It is adorned with bright and glittering coloration, and is the only member of the phylum Epicozoa known to possess a sense of whimsy. It tends to surround itself with far weaker organisms such as the Nathan and the Revolution, for reasons known only to the Funtimes' strange and undocumented mind."

 

 

Unrelated. I've been reading about various forms of prehistoric life again lately, in particular the Thylacoleo (marsupial lion) of Ice Age Australia. So I was wondering...

 

 

...how would Funtimes react if Lightwards added one of these to his arsenal?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"The Funtimes is undoubtedly one of the most bizarre lifeforms known to modern Epizoology. It is adorned with bright and glittering coloration, and is the only member of the phylum Epicozoa known to possess a sense of whimsy. It tends to surround itself with far weaker organisms such as the Nathan and the Revolution, for reasons known only to the Funtimes' strange and undocumented mind."

Unrelated. I've been reading about various forms of prehistoric life again lately, in particular the Thylacoleo (marsupial lion) of Ice Age Australia. So I was wondering...

...how would Funtimes react if Lightwards added one of these to his arsenal?

She would definitely want one. Or two. She would find them cute (because look at it! it's adorable in a "this thing could totally kill you" sort of way) but after the way he's treated Nathan and Sam, she wouldn't dare take one home for fear Lightwards would order it to attack the minute her guard was down.

She might, however, ask Lightwards for one in an attempt to see whether of not it would be a trap. If he agreed readily, she would assume this had occurred to him and suddenly change her mind about the whole "prehistoric kitties make great pets" thing.

[Kobold King he/him]

She would definitely want one. Or two. She would find them cute (because look at it! it's adorable in a "this thing could totally kill you" sort of way) but after the way he's treated Nathan and Sam, she wouldn't dare take one home for fear Lightwards would order it to attack the minute her guard was down.

She might, however, ask Lightwards for one in an attempt to see whether of not it would be a trap. If he agreed readily, she would assume this had occurred to him and suddenly change her mind about the whole "prehistoric kitties make great pets" thing.

 

The really hilarious thing about the Thylacoleo is that it was more closely related to wombats than actual cats.  (I'll probably be bombarding the Random Stuff thread with facts about ancient marsupials for the next few days. )

 

Figures. Rationality ruins everything.   It's a real shame, since I can totally see Funtimes riding one of those into battle. As things stand, any marsupial lions he raises will probably end up in the "stand still and think menacing animals thoughts" club with Wes.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

The really hilarious thing about the Thylacoleo is that it was more closely related to wombats than actual cats. (I'll probably be bombarding the Random Stuff thread with facts about ancient marsupials for the next few days. )

Figures. Rationality ruins everything. It's a real shame, since I can totally see Funtimes riding one of those into battle. As things stand, any marsupial lions he raises will probably end up in the "stand still and think menacing animals thoughts" club with Wes.

And just when I thought there was nothing you could say that would make her love it more.

Wow. Thomas Cardinal must've been the worst pet sitter EVER. "Note says to feed, walk, and tell Foofie what a pretty dog she is....bah, this is idiotic. Foofie, think spoiled-poodle-thoughts while I go contemplate how much I despise your owner."

[Kobold King he/him]

And just when I thought there was nothing you could say that would make her love it more.

Wow. Thomas Cardinal must've been the worst pet sitter EVER. "Note says to feed, walk, and tell Foofie what a pretty dog she is....bah, this is idiotic. Foofie, think spoiled-poodle-thoughts while I go contemplate how much I despise your owner."

 

That, and the only known rock art of the animal is hilariously derpy.

 

Little did he know that the Dread Poodle Foofie's internal monologue was far darker than Lightwards could ever hope to contemplate.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

That, and the only known rock art of the animal is hilariously derpy.

Little did he know that the Dread Poodle Foofie's internal monologue was far darker than Lightwards could ever hope to contemplate.

Oh my gosh. The longer you look, the funnier it gets.

"Day 12 of my captivity beneath the Evil Professor's thumb. He still insists upon forcing me to subsist upon dry cereal while he holds lavish feasts in my presence. Of course, even if he offered, I would not partake in these, for he roasts Spam and eats it on bagels. Ugh! How he ever managed to defeat my humans in pitched combat--for this is the only reason they would dare to leave me with such a monster--remains a mystery. Sadly, his weaknesses remain veiled, so I must fight back in the only way I can.

"I must eat his shoes.

"I know this will bring his wrath upon me, but his reaction will reveal how far he is willing to go--and, perhaps, what measures I must take to defeat him. Will a nighttime attack suffice, or must I run to the neighbors and convince them of his abuse in hopes they demand justice? I shall know soon enough...."

[Voidus]

Awesome. I like them all.

 

One question though... why is the electricity Epic called "Scorpion"?

His hands are like the pincers and the lightning bolts he summons are the tail... I'm not great at naming Epics.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

His hands are like the pincers and the lightning bolts he summons are the tail... I'm not great at naming Epics.

Tell that to the person who accidentally wrote working for Koschei into Headshot's backstory because she couldn't come up with a better name for a sniper Epic.

[Voidus]

Australian Megafauna are awesomely cool if you're still looking for animals Kobold.

[Kobold King he/him]

Tell that to the person who accidentally wrote working for Koschei into Headshot's backstory because she couldn't come up with a better name for a sniper Epic.

 

Since your accident resulted in a minor side character being given a badchull backstory, I'd count it as one of the better naming faux pauxs of history.

 

 

Australian Megafauna are awesomely cool if you're still looking for animals Kobold.

 

Oh, they are. Diprotodon, the wombat the size of a rhino... Megalania, the monitor lizard the size of a school bus... there's a wealth of weird but fantastic creatures here, and yet hardly anyone these days know about them.

 

How strange and exciting is that? There have been entire ecosystems in Earth's history that put the Serengeti to shame, yet the average person off the street has no idea about most of them. It makes the world seem so huge and vibrant and mind-boggling... and more than anything, amazing. I'll never know why the most militant creationists see evolution as an affront to God, because I've always felt the idea of an eons-old Earth gives more glory to Him than any other theory.

 

But that's just my opinion, and I digress.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Since your accident resulted in a minor side character being given a badchull backstory, I'd count it as one of the better naming faux pauxs of history.

Oh, they are. Diprotodon, the wombat the size of a rhino... Megalania, the monitor lizard the size of a school bus... there's a wealth of weird but fantastic creatures here, and yet hardly anyone these days know about them.

How strange and exciting is that? There have been entire ecosystems in Earth's history that put the Serengeti to shame, yet the average person off the street has no idea about most of them. It makes the world seem so huge and vibrant and mind-boggling... and more than anything, amazing. I'll never know why the most militant creationists see evolution as an affront to God, because I've always felt the idea of an eons-old Earth gives more glory to Him than any other theory.

But that's just my opinion, and I digress.

Better than the alternate name I had for him.

I do believe in creationism, but I also know there's a lot we don't know about earth's origins. I'm....not really sold on the super- young-earth argument, really, and I think God left his fingerprints on everything he made--especially the weird animals from before recorded history. To me, that shows just how creative he is, that we have all of these strange animals here with us, and even stranger ones before. (Also opinion, also a digression. )

[Voidus]

Since your accident resulted in a minor side character being given a badchull backstory, I'd count it as one of the better naming faux pauxs of history.

 

 

 

Oh, they are. Diprotodon, the wombat the size of a rhino... Megalania, the monitor lizard the size of a school bus... there's a wealth of weird but fantastic creatures here, and yet hardly anyone these days know about them.

 

How strange and exciting is that? There have been entire ecosystems in Earth's history that put the Serengeti to shame, yet the average person off the street has no idea about most of them. It makes the world seem so huge and vibrant and mind-boggling... and more than anything, amazing. I'll never know why the most militant creationists see evolution as an affront to God, because I've always felt the idea of an eons-old Earth gives more glory to Him than any other theory.

 

But that's just my opinion, and I digress.

We cover them a bit in first year Biology here, but even so it's amazing how few Australians know about them. We all think of the Tasmanian tiger when we think extinct Australian animals, which is about the least interesting animal that's been here.

[Kobold King he/him]

Better than the alternate name I had for him.

I do believe in creationism, but I also know there's a lot we don't know about earth's origins. I'm....not really sold on the super- young-earth argument, really, and I think God left his fingerprints on everything he made--especially the weird animals from before recorded history. To me, that shows just how creative he is, that we have all of these strange animals here with us, and even stranger ones before. (Also opinion, also a digression. )

 

Personally I think a lot more theological weight has been attached to the argument than it's worth. I don't believe in a God who'll send anyone to Hell for not believing in a literal Genesis; similarly, I don't view creationists with the scorn and ridicule that's all too commonplace in Darwinist circles. I think the commandment to love thy neighbor as thyself most certainly takes precedence over the cosmological nitpicking match that's broken out between the two points of view.

 

Frankly, I'm just glad that this is a place where such sensitive topics can be brought up and discussed cheerfully and rationally. I've seen the wars on the matter waged in blogs, published works, and YouTube comments, and the discourses therein tend to be... less than civil. I'm fairly confident that the soldiers who jeered at Christ while he hung on the cross used more polite language.

 

In any case, I'm happy to report that WHIO remains perfectly neutral in the debate. Sure, Backtrack thinks he's looked back millions of years before, but this is the man who spent the first two months after getting his powers convinced that the spirits of Native American braves were haunting him. We can safely take his point of view with a grain of salt.

[Voidus]

I never understood the ire some people got from the cosmology of fictional universes disagreeing with their own. Australia's a pretty secular place so there's quite a few other Atheists in my classes but they're really annoying sometimes. It's the authours perogative to set up the cosmology however they wish, I don't believe there's a god who created our world but I'm fine with the idea of the Shards planting life on all of the Shardworlds in Brandons books.
If Backtrack took another look into the past and saw the Garden of Eden I'd be perfectly fine with that, I'd just choose to believe it's a representation of an Alternate Universe.

In short, you guys are awesome.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Personally I think a lot more theological weight has been attached to the argument than it's worth. I don't believe in a God who'll send anyone to Hell for not believing in a literal Genesis; similarly, I don't view creationists with the scorn and ridicule that's all too commonplace in Darwinist circles. I think the commandment to love thy neighbor as thyself most certainly takes precedence over the cosmological nitpicking match that's broken out between the two points of view.

Frankly, I'm just glad that this is a place where such sensitive topics can be brought up and discussed cheerfully and rationally. I've seen the wars on the matter waged in blogs, published works, and YouTube comments, and the discourses therein tend to be... less than civil. I'm fairly confident that the soldiers who jeered at Christ while he hung on the cross used more polite language.

In any case, I'm happy to report that WHIO remains perfectly neutral in the debate. Sure, Backtrack thinks he's looked back millions of years before, but this is the man who spent the first two months after getting his powers convinced that the spirits of Native American braves were haunting him. We can safely take his point of view with a grain of salt.

I personally think that the here and now is more important than the way-back-when. We in the church put far too much emphasis on what happened at the beginning of the story and what'll happen at the end, and we wind up losing sight of the most important parts of the story: when Jesus stepped in, and the part we can influence, right now. As for going to Hell for not being a young earth creationist or having a premillennial view of the Rapture--well, look at some of our modern heroes of the faith. CS Lewis and Dietrich Bonhoeffer both believed things that some would say did not line up with the Bible, but their lives brought people to God, and that's what I think matters. We're human, we're limited, and we're not going to get everything right. We should focus more on what's truly important: people, rather than being right.

[Voidus]

Thus ended a discussion of differing religious beliefs with no hatred, insults or namecalling whatsoever. The rest of the Internet promptly exploded.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Thus ended a discussion of differing religious beliefs with no hatred, insults or namecalling whatsoever. The rest of the Internet promptly exploded.

And Nighthound died?

[Kobold King he/him]

And Nighthound died?

 

A Darwinist, a creationist, and an atheist walk into a bar.

 

Setting aside their differences, they arm themselves with torches and pitchforks and kill Nighthound.

 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

A Darwinist, a creationist, and an atheist walk into a bar.

 

Setting aside their differences, they arm themselves with torches and pitchforks and kill Nighthound.

 

 

 

 

[Voidus]

A Darwinist, a creationist, and an atheist walk into a bar.

 

Setting aside their differences, they arm themselves with torches and pitchforks and kill Nighthound.

 

And there was much rejoicing.