D&D stories

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

GUYS

Last night I came up with a plan for a dungeon

That for the first time ever didn't end up backfiring in our faces and making everything harder on us

Here's what happened: 

So we were supposed to go to this one town and stop an evil cultist, right? But we couldn't find where they were for the heck of us. So, I'm a 10th lvl diviner wizard, and so I can do basically anything magical except be useful in combat (witch bolt is still my main offensive spell). So I cast scrying on the person, because I knew their name, and saw them in some underground place chanting around a circle in the ground where a portal to another plane was opening. Not good. Wanting to break his concentration on the ritual, I cast sending, letting me open a telepathic link with this guy, and impersonated his patron, telling him to stop opening the portal. I successfully rolled the deception, so he was convinced it was me. He asked me why, and I quickly saw an opportunity. I told him that I would send him more assistance for his plans, but he needed to create a teleportation circle to let them in, and told him what rune to use. Then I ended the communication and another of our party members has the teleportation circle spell, so we created our own that linked to it and teleported directly to the cultist. When we got there, he asked us what we were supposed to help with, because he said that the Champion of Men was still holed up and when he successfully brought through the eldritch primordial to our plane, it would easily be able to defeat the Champion, who had betrayed them. We had no idea who he was talking about but told him that we would go kill the Champion ourselves, and he didn't need to summon the primordial. So he led us through the dungeon to where they had cornered the Champion, then left, and we went inside the room and found it was an ancient brass dragon. So we talked to the dragon and told it that we would help it bust out, then we returned to the cultist and his followers and easily defeated him now that we had an ancient dragon on our side and they did not have a primordial. 

The plan actually worked for once! AGGHGHGGGH

[Vielence She/Her]

2 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

GUYS

Last night I came up with a plan for a dungeon

That for the first time ever didn't end up backfiring in our faces and making everything harder on us

Here's what happened: 

So we were supposed to go to this one town and stop an evil cultist, right? But we couldn't find where they were for the heck of us. So, I'm a 10th lvl diviner wizard, and so I can do basically anything magical except be useful in combat (witch bolt is still my main offensive spell). So I cast scrying on the person, because I knew their name, and saw them in some underground place chanting around a circle in the ground where a portal to another plane was opening. Not good. Wanting to break his concentration on the ritual, I cast sending, letting me open a telepathic link with this guy, and impersonated his patron, telling him to stop opening the portal. I successfully rolled the deception, so he was convinced it was me. He asked me why, and I quickly saw an opportunity. I told him that I would send him more assistance for his plans, but he needed to create a teleportation circle to let them in, and told him what rune to use. Then I ended the communication and another of our party members has the teleportation circle spell, so we created our own that linked to it and teleported directly to the cultist. When we got there, he asked us what we were supposed to help with, because he said that the Champion of Men was still holed up and when he successfully brought through the eldritch primordial to our plane, it would easily be able to defeat the Champion, who had betrayed them. We had no idea who he was talking about but told him that we would go kill the Champion ourselves, and he didn't need to summon the primordial. So he led us through the dungeon to where they had cornered the Champion, then left, and we went inside the room and found it was an ancient brass dragon. So we talked to the dragon and told it that we would help it bust out, then we returned to the cultist and his followers and easily defeated him now that we had an ancient dragon on our side and they did not have a primordial. 

The plan actually worked for once! AGGHGHGGGH

NICE

I love it when stuff like that happens. 

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

1 hour ago, Ashkaloda said:

GUYS

Last night I came up with a plan for a dungeon

That for the first time ever didn't end up backfiring in our faces and making everything harder on us

Here's what happened: 

So we were supposed to go to this one town and stop an evil cultist, right? But we couldn't find where they were for the heck of us. So, I'm a 10th lvl diviner wizard, and so I can do basically anything magical except be useful in combat (witch bolt is still my main offensive spell). So I cast scrying on the person, because I knew their name, and saw them in some underground place chanting around a circle in the ground where a portal to another plane was opening. Not good. Wanting to break his concentration on the ritual, I cast sending, letting me open a telepathic link with this guy, and impersonated his patron, telling him to stop opening the portal. I successfully rolled the deception, so he was convinced it was me. He asked me why, and I quickly saw an opportunity. I told him that I would send him more assistance for his plans, but he needed to create a teleportation circle to let them in, and told him what rune to use. Then I ended the communication and another of our party members has the teleportation circle spell, so we created our own that linked to it and teleported directly to the cultist. When we got there, he asked us what we were supposed to help with, because he said that the Champion of Men was still holed up and when he successfully brought through the eldritch primordial to our plane, it would easily be able to defeat the Champion, who had betrayed them. We had no idea who he was talking about but told him that we would go kill the Champion ourselves, and he didn't need to summon the primordial. So he led us through the dungeon to where they had cornered the Champion, then left, and we went inside the room and found it was an ancient brass dragon. So we talked to the dragon and told it that we would help it bust out, then we returned to the cultist and his followers and easily defeated him now that we had an ancient dragon on our side and they did not have a primordial. 

The plan actually worked for once! AGGHGHGGGH

Nice!! I love it.

 

 

 

 

I just got an email from one of my players. Here is what is says:

Hey KnightSkye, Since I'm playing a centaur and I have two stomachs, then if someone tries to bury me alive can I eat the dirt fast enough they couldn't? And if so, what check would that be?

 

Please help.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

Just now, KnightSkye Reforged said:

Nice!! I love it.

 

 

 

 

I just got an email from one of my players. Here is what is says:

Hey KnightSkye, Since I'm playing a centaur and I have two stomachs, then if someone tries to bury me alive can I eat the dirt fast enough they couldn't? And if so, what check would that be?

 

Please help.

I feel your pain. 

...

They clearly thought this through enough to reach a ludicrous conclusion like that and email you about it, but they don't understand that having two stomachs is different than having two mouths? 

[Vielence She/Her]

30 minutes ago, KnightSkye Reforged said:

Nice!! I love it.

 

 

 

 

I just got an email from one of my players. Here is what is says:

Hey KnightSkye, Since I'm playing a centaur and I have two stomachs, then if someone tries to bury me alive can I eat the dirt fast enough they couldn't? And if so, what check would that be?

 

Please help.

If nothing else works, smite them.  
 

Buuuuut I suppose you could also explain that even if they are a centaur that eating dirt would block their intestines. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

3 minutes ago, VieB13 said:

If nothing else works, smite them.  
 

Buuuuut I suppose you could also explain that even if they are a centaur that eating dirt would block their intestines. 

Or, you know, suggest that they dig themselves out with their hands. 

[Vielence She/Her]

1 minute ago, Ashkaloda said:

Or, you know, suggest that they dig themselves out with their hands. 

Yes, but that’s the SANE option. 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 minute ago, VieB13 said:

Yes, but that’s the SANE option. 

Ah, but of course. We wouldn't want that. How silly of me to have forgotten so easily. 

[Vielence She/Her]

2 minutes ago, Ashkaloda said:

Ah, but of course. We wouldn't want that. How silly of me to have forgotten so easily. 

You’re insane. It’s ok that makes you forget stuff sometimes. 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

*me watching, wishing i could play dnd*

the only story i have is i was a warlock

and i loved eldritch blast

so we joked that i was just dancing

like

*eldritch blast* *hand flies up* *same thing with other hand* *repeat*

[Vielence She/Her]

On 11/11/2025 at 8:31 PM, CoderDrag0n8 said:

*me watching, wishing i could play dnd*

the only story i have is i was a warlock

and i loved eldritch blast

so we joked that i was just dancing

like

*eldritch blast* *hand flies up* *same thing with other hand* *repeat*

Pffft

 

…

speaking of that group I have? Welllll *grins evilly*
I have an idea

*pauses for gasps*
*tries not to laugh*
*fails*
so they’re gonna try to pull a heist yes? But in a palace that even they can’t get into. Except on one day. With one group of NPCs. A traveling troupe of performers. And they (connections, yall) are a part of the group for one day. To pull go this heist. 
But they also do still have parts in this play. 
So they have to do everything when they’re not on stage. 
-and before you ask, OF COURSE it’s gonna be a romance how nice do you think I am 

..I do have to now write a play along with normal prep… the things I do to embarrass my players… 

Edited November 18, 2025 by VieB13

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

On 11/11/2025 at 8:04 AM, KnightSkye Reforged said:

So! My players finished a dungeon last night and are going through the loot, when our fighter picked up a sword that she failed a WIS save against. And as she picked it up, she heard these words in her mind:

"Hello! Would you like to destroy some evil today?" 

And I ended the session there.

One of my players (not the fighter) has read Warbreaker.

EVIL

 

On 11/11/2025 at 1:10 PM, VieB13 said:

*shivers*
Mine will never see this either. 
 

As you should!! 
Ok so my turn for a story:

this last session I had, they were in a ship to retrieve and artifact. They got to the hold, but we’re stopped by a door. So, obv, instead of, I dunno, trying to OPENT HE STORMING DOOR, they immediately tried BLOWING IT UP. This is when I had to pull the power of the gods thing. If they had blown it up it would have ruined the session so they took some damage. 
The worst part?

The door wasn’t even storming LOCKED. 

Its in us players' blood to explode things for fun

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

16 minutes ago, The Great Wyver said:

EVIL

 

Its in us players' blood to explode things for fun

Even more than that, they are level 6. So they can wield Nightblood for one round at most.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

Just now, KnightSkye Reforged said:

Even more than that, they are level 6. So they can wield Nightblood for one round at most.

Wait you made Nightblood in game??

 

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

1 minute ago, The Great Wyver said:

Wait you made Nightblood in game??

 

Yes. They picked up Nightblood, in game.

I homebrewed Nightblood.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

4 minutes ago, KnightSkye Reforged said:

Yes. They picked up Nightblood, in game.

I homebrewed Nightblood.

Thats really cool actually

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

4 minutes ago, The Great Wyver said:

Thats really cool actually

yeah, but also terrifying. cause at the rate this group is going, I'm going to end up with three tpks in three sessions.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

2 minutes ago, KnightSkye Reforged said:

yeah, but also terrifying. cause at the rate this group is going, I'm going to end up with three tpks in three sessions.

What are tpks?

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

3 minutes ago, The Great Wyver said:

What are tpks?

Total Party Kills. when the entire party dies at once.

which with how dumb my players are is likely to happen from them saying "We can handle this sword" and dying.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

9 minutes ago, KnightSkye Reforged said:

Total Party Kills. when the entire party dies at once.

which with how dumb my players are is likely to happen from them saying "We can handle this sword" and dying.

Ah yeah

Have they figured out the gimmick yet or do they still think its just some sword that hurts the wielder or something?

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

9 minutes ago, The Great Wyver said:

Ah yeah

Have they figured out the gimmick yet or do they still think its just some sword that hurts the wielder or something?

they have yet to draw it, so they don't know it hurts them. That panic will be fun to watch.

[al_lan_mandragoran]

Sounds like fun. I want to do something like that, but I'm still trying to find one last person to fill my group.

Edited November 18, 2025 by al_lan_mandragoran

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

2 minutes ago, KnightSkye Reforged said:

they have yet to draw it, so they don't know it hurts them. That panic will be fun to watch.

Yeah that sounds hilarious to watch lol

Does it speak to them or not?

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

1 minute ago, The Great Wyver said:

Yeah that sounds hilarious to watch lol

Does it speak to them or not?

So far only to the fighter who picked it up.

[al_lan_mandragoran]

9 minutes ago, KnightSkye Reforged said:

So far only to the fighter who picked it up.

Poor guy - she'll probably have super low WIS, meaning she will find it hard to put it down.