6/30/25-ginger_reckoning-a song for silence, sub 27, 3569 words (L, S)

[ginger_reckoning]

Additional tags for sex-related trauma (No assault)

Hey all, thanks again for reading. I realized I accidentally numbered it as 25 twice, so to get back to the right number, here is 27 haha. Not too many specific questions for this one, other than the fact this is one of the last quiet chapters of the book, and I just wonder if the pacing is good here, and if the conversation between A and J here is emotionally believable. . Thanks again for reading!

[Paul SB]

Chapter 35

 

“… when the sun became a painter …” Great imagery! No mythology here? The idea of a sun god changing personality through the day the way people change from birth to death could be fun to play with.

 

“Nope. it wasn’t going to pursue that line of thought.” Just a typo. (It)

 

“Then she leaned back … Then she leaned forward again.” Maybe don’t repeat then so close. “She leaned forward again.”

 

“ … she said ‘attack our rear’ and I didn’t even CRACK a single joke …” tee hee. No self-satisfied smirk for that one?

 

 

“… making wide slashes across town.” What was the source of these shadows? Mountains? Huge buildings? It would help to give us an image here.

 

“… screwed up the curse’s rhythm, which was a relief?” How is that a relief? Is it happening less often? When a pain is predictable it is actually less hurtful than if it’s unpredictable. This was demonstrated first with rats in the 1960s, then with humans in the ‘90s.

 

Amara’s obsession with appearing weak sounds like a very important psychosocial problem that could use some solid examination. Doe sit relate to her being female in a patriarchy, or do the local cultures maintain caveman standards? Both? Was there a time when not being strong enough had some huge impact on her, or someone she cared about? I hope you explore this in here somewhere.

 

That final conversation was really good stuff, and I like the fact that it ended with no resolution. (And it reminds me of the old Oingo Boingo song “Skin.”) This talk should be a major ice-breaker for both of them, and lead to both more trust and more opening up to each other. It might be good if Jean (does he pronounce that the French way?) at some point after being praised for his kindness and reliability, tell Amara that she must be a very good judge of character. It’s a compliment that might help open the door to cutting down on the self-criticism and reframe her self ideation.

[Appol PhD they/he]

All right, time to dig in!

Overall: From what we’ve talked about I can see the potential for the pieces to line up, and I think a lot of the larger ideas focused on here like A’s apathy and S’s musing about life actually having meaning are good for the story. Right now I think the biggest issue is that the character arcs don’t feel super tight, so right now it doesn’t feel like these moments are all important for the larger story. Especially for slower scenes (and I do think it makes sense to have some quieter calm before the storm scenes here), the story needs to justify why we’re getting this now and how it informs the larger story as a whole. For example, right now J’s backstory doesn’t feel necessary for understanding A’s arc, and it also doesn’t feel like it has a lot of specific insight into that arc. Imo tightening things up in this way is the hardest part of writing, but I do think a lot of the pieces are there in this case.

As I go:

Pg 1. I don’t think the musing here quite works for me because it feels a bit stagnant

Pg 3. I see why S is reflecting on this stuff but I think we need more of a defined arc. Right now there’s not a lot of stakes to what S’s internality settles on.

Pg 5. I think we need more to S’s dynamic with J for this goodwill to feel compelling

Pg 7. Similar comments to the above so far. I see why it’s important for A and S to butt heads here but it doesn’t feel like the outcome of this matters much for the immediate story.

Pg 9. A bit of backstory exposition for J here is okay, but it feels like a bit much when I’m not sure why this matters for the story

Pg 10. This does raise questions about how sexuality in general is treated in this world. Given that the tongue and cheek narration is perfectly capable of addressing it directly, it feels like we should know more about this before now