3-17-25-ginger_reckoning-a song for silence sub 15-4087 words (V, L, S)

[ginger_reckoning]

Hey, thanks again for reading. Not too many specific notes on this one, just looking to see what works here and what doesn't. Tags for language mostly, and some alluded to violence and sexual content. 

Thanks!

[Appol PhD they/he]

Excited to dig in!

Overall: It’s good that there’s a plan to attack A, which helps build up conflict, though I still feel like I’m needing some larger stakes and arcs. Right now S’s plan is to kill A and go from there, while A’s plan is to root out and kill S. I think one issue I’m having is that neither of those actually feels pressing. S hasn’t been doing much since it got shattered, so A killing it doesn’t feel urgent, and there’s also no reason S needs to deal with A right now and it’s not clear how S plans to escalate beyond that.

I’m also wondering if L can still wipe S out like she could when It was connected. If she can, then all of this feels a bit moot since what actually happens to A and S is essentially her choice alone.

Still excited to keep reading, and I continue liking the humor S’s narration. The conflict between Ss is promising, though I think I need a clearer large plot conflict for their interpersonal disagreements to feel pressing and important.

As I go:

Pg 1. Makes me wonder if there’s a reason why nobody knows how to set a trap

Pg 2. I like the voice here, though I think I need a bit more on S’s plan to be engaged with it

Pg 3. I think it’s fine for S not to understand this shift, and I think it’s fine for it to be in denial, but I think the story needs to show clearer cause and effect of what specifically led to this change

Pg 4-5. I’m a bit conflicted because this is quite fun, but I feel like I don’t have a good grasp of the plot and why this matters for it

Pg 7-8. The chef thing makes me think the different Ss are starting to gain individuality, which makes me curious to see if that creates conflict for S.

Pg 9. I’m surprised S is backing down here. Doesn’t seem like it’s familiar with doing that

Pg 10-11. Seeing actual divisions and conflict among Ss makes me more engaged