Mental health club!

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

11 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

waitwaitwait i have more venting ugh the life of a teenager (TWs: sucky parents, typical teenager-under-stress "is it just easier if I die?" kind of thoughts, minor sh urges, generally very long, very angry, rather confusing to read rant):

  Hide contents

Ok so short storytime, my mom is kinda just fully a genius of some sort. She's smarter than me, and way more grounded in reality, and she doesn't care about my feelings in the moment, she cares about my health and happiness in the future. Throughout all of summer I would swat away any attempt of talking about hs admissions, which was dumb in hindsight, but none of my parents had to deal with the nyc school system, or private schools. Which were my only choice lol, because public school is decided on a lottery number, and mine was so bad that the thing that tells you your chances of getting into a specialized/public school had less than 5% for every single one. So yay for private schools and the namedropping and "ignore my adhd"-ing and donating and SO MANY DAMN ESSAYS that came with them. My mom kinda just refused to do the first two things, which I'm grateful for because it's morally slimey. I regret so much that I didn't work on my essays earlier though. It was torture. T O R T U R E. My essays, plus the adjustment from 7th grade homework to 8th grade homework was merciless for the first two-three months of school. By the end of the night I'd be crying. And then my mom would lecture me (after yelling at me about procrastinating, until I was in tears) about how I need to be more serious, and I've slacked off so much and it's coming back to bite me, and that I needed to stop being dumb (no mama it doesn't help that you called everyone else dumb too, I get that you meant 13-14 year olds are generally dumb, you still called me dumb. like a lot), that I should've done more extracurriculars/afterschool activities, what are we going to put on the form, blah blah blah. It got worse as it got closer to January. I needed to study for the ISEE retaking (funny how the two things I didn't study for got higher scores than 99% of other test takers in my area, mama) (ah yes my biggest flex), I needed to get my essays done, and they needed to be perfect, because school applications is just selling yourself, and if I can't be a STEM kid (lies, I could, I just don't like math and god forbid someone like science and not math), or a sports kid, then my writing needs to be gold. And I could write things I am so proud of, but it's not enough. There's always more rewrites and edits and I always wish my mom wasn't the head editor of her school newspaper because this sucks, and at the end of the day it's my fault for not reading enough essays, and my fault for being too buried in fantasy, and it's my fault for turning away from the real world. She justifies what she says, because I work well under pressure (true, but you could have apologized afterwords instead of just assuming I'd forgive you), because time is up (true, but you never apologized mama), because I had this coming the entire time and I could have stopped it if I locked in earlier, and it's all true, but that doesn't change the thoughts I've had because of your actions. I remember she was yelling at me over some mini-essays while I worked (I used to yell back, but that's just a waste of time), and my dad came in and was like "it is 12 at night you are very loud our kid is close to tears she can work on it in the morning," and they fight. My mom says she doesn't even know if I'll get a choice in school (that I'll only get accepted into one, which is stupid anyways, because all these schools are rigorous so isn't it something no matter what?), and I flee to the bathroom to shower and also just cry there because what do you mean you have driven me to the point of having rather died than been subjected to your yelling, to having thought I was stupid, naive, and destined to fail, to having scratched at my skin until it stung, never mind that it never bled, just to say that I can hurt myself more than you could hurt me (which I never could), and you don't think I'll succeed. At some point in time, when we are having one of those conversations where she is lecturing me, and I am close to tears, I manage to say what I've had in my head for a while, which is that I don't need her. I have friends and teachers to say I'm smart, to tell me not to worry, to tell me that I'm capable," and of course while I say that I break down crying because I am a shockingly tear-prone person, but I think a little, saying that helped. Anyways that's all over now, I never got my apology(ies), but she's said she's proud of me like four times, which is a lot for just six months (oh that is a miserable sentence to say). And I am so close, so close, to forgiving her when she says "I'm sorry about applications." She continues to apologize for saying those things to me, and then snorts and says not really, and that I know that while she loves me she doesn't regret anything. I wasn't that mad, she doesn't apologize, she just loves me anyways for all my flaws, and I try to forget that I didn't need an apology for my own insecurities, but for the fact that she pushed them onto me, because I am the same way. I don't say sorry, so much as "I love you, and I'm proud of you anyways." And then she says that she is sorry for not doing it sooner, and that's referring to everything she's said and screamed, because this could have all been avoided and she should've just gotten it over with, but I was always avoiding applications over the summer. And I just like???

HELLO????

What do you mean you aren't sorry for making me want to die, for making me hurt myself, for making me think I was stupid and had no hope, but you are sorry you didn't sooner??? IT'S NOT A TRIAL MAMA. That was not some kind of trial that you put a kid through like it's a coming of age thing. You cannot treat that like it was something to make me grow. I don't care if it came from a place in you that wants me to be the best me, because I didn't feel like the best me, and I still don't.

and it's so hard because my mom is either super nice, and funny, and supportive, or yelling at me

You weren’t kidding when you said that would be long.

First off: No parent should be that harsh on their kid. Maybe you should speak to your parents and explain how they’re making you feel (although I understand why that could be hard). But most importantly, regardless of what you’re mom insists, this is NOT ALL YOUR FAULT. Also, someone who “loves you unconditionally” should be able to apologize when they are wrong.

Essentially: don’t blame yourself for everything. Yes, you probably have room for improvement. But you’re also just a kid (or teenager, if kid sounds too condescending) and can’t be expected to be perfect. So, take some of the guilt off your shoulders. I’m sure you’ll get into a great school. And no, you don’t need to be a STEM kid or athlete to succeed. You just need to be yourself.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

23 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

waitwaitwait i have more venting ugh the life of a teenager (TWs: sucky parents, typical teenager-under-stress "is it just easier if I die?" kind of thoughts, minor sh urges, generally very long, very angry, rather confusing to read rant):

  Hide contents

Ok so short storytime, my mom is kinda just fully a genius of some sort. She's smarter than me, and way more grounded in reality, and she doesn't care about my feelings in the moment, she cares about my health and happiness in the future. Throughout all of summer I would swat away any attempt of talking about hs admissions, which was dumb in hindsight, but none of my parents had to deal with the nyc school system, or private schools. Which were my only choice lol, because public school is decided on a lottery number, and mine was so bad that the thing that tells you your chances of getting into a specialized/public school had less than 5% for every single one. So yay for private schools and the namedropping and "ignore my adhd"-ing and donating and SO MANY DAMN ESSAYS that came with them. My mom kinda just refused to do the first two things, which I'm grateful for because it's morally slimey. I regret so much that I didn't work on my essays earlier though. It was torture. T O R T U R E. My essays, plus the adjustment from 7th grade homework to 8th grade homework was merciless for the first two-three months of school. By the end of the night I'd be crying. And then my mom would lecture me (after yelling at me about procrastinating, until I was in tears) about how I need to be more serious, and I've slacked off so much and it's coming back to bite me, and that I needed to stop being dumb (no mama it doesn't help that you called everyone else dumb too, I get that you meant 13-14 year olds are generally dumb, you still called me dumb. like a lot), that I should've done more extracurriculars/afterschool activities, what are we going to put on the form, blah blah blah. It got worse as it got closer to January. I needed to study for the ISEE retaking (funny how the two things I didn't study for got higher scores than 99% of other test takers in my area, mama) (ah yes my biggest flex), I needed to get my essays done, and they needed to be perfect, because school applications is just selling yourself, and if I can't be a STEM kid (lies, I could, I just don't like math and god forbid someone like science and not math), or a sports kid, then my writing needs to be gold. And I could write things I am so proud of, but it's not enough. There's always more rewrites and edits and I always wish my mom wasn't the head editor of her school newspaper because this sucks, and at the end of the day it's my fault for not reading enough essays, and my fault for being too buried in fantasy, and it's my fault for turning away from the real world. She justifies what she says, because I work well under pressure (true, but you could have apologized afterwords instead of just assuming I'd forgive you), because time is up (true, but you never apologized mama), because I had this coming the entire time and I could have stopped it if I locked in earlier, and it's all true, but that doesn't change the thoughts I've had because of your actions. I remember she was yelling at me over some mini-essays while I worked (I used to yell back, but that's just a waste of time), and my dad came in and was like "it is 12 at night you are very loud our kid is close to tears she can work on it in the morning," and they fight. My mom says she doesn't even know if I'll get a choice in school (that I'll only get accepted into one, which is stupid anyways, because all these schools are rigorous so isn't it something no matter what?), and I flee to the bathroom to shower and also just cry there because what do you mean you have driven me to the point of having rather died than been subjected to your yelling, to having thought I was stupid, naive, and destined to fail, to having scratched at my skin until it stung, never mind that it never bled, just to say that I can hurt myself more than you could hurt me (which I never could), and you don't think I'll succeed. At some point in time, when we are having one of those conversations where she is lecturing me, and I am close to tears, I manage to say what I've had in my head for a while, which is that I don't need her. I have friends and teachers to say I'm smart, to tell me not to worry, to tell me that I'm capable," and of course while I say that I break down crying because I am a shockingly tear-prone person, but I think a little, saying that helped. Anyways that's all over now, I never got my apology(ies), but she's said she's proud of me like four times, which is a lot for just six months (oh that is a miserable sentence to say). And I am so close, so close, to forgiving her when she says "I'm sorry about applications." She continues to apologize for saying those things to me, and then snorts and says not really, and that I know that while she loves me she doesn't regret anything. I wasn't that mad, she doesn't apologize, she just loves me anyways for all my flaws, and I try to forget that I didn't need an apology for my own insecurities, but for the fact that she pushed them onto me, because I am the same way. I don't say sorry, so much as "I love you, and I'm proud of you anyways." And then she says that she is sorry for not doing it sooner, and that's referring to everything she's said and screamed, because this could have all been avoided and she should've just gotten it over with, but I was always avoiding applications over the summer. And I just like???

HELLO????

What do you mean you aren't sorry for making me want to die, for making me hurt myself, for making me think I was stupid and had no hope, but you are sorry you didn't sooner??? IT'S NOT A TRIAL MAMA. That was not some kind of trial that you put a kid through like it's a coming of age thing. You cannot treat that like it was something to make me grow. I don't care if it came from a place in you that wants me to be the best me, because I didn't feel like the best me, and I still don't.

and it's so hard because my mom is either super nice, and funny, and supportive, or yelling at me

*hug*

oh man

my mom is a lot like that

I feel a lot of that too; it's hard 

I'm sorry

[Existential]

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

oh man

my mom is a lot like that

I feel a lot of that too; it's hard 

I'm sorry

*squeeze*

[Keke They/he]

33 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

waitwaitwait i have more venting ugh the life of a teenager (TWs: sucky parents, typical teenager-under-stress "is it just easier if I die?" kind of thoughts, minor sh urges, generally very long, very angry, rather confusing to read rant):

  Hide contents

Ok so short storytime, my mom is kinda just fully a genius of some sort. She's smarter than me, and way more grounded in reality, and she doesn't care about my feelings in the moment, she cares about my health and happiness in the future. Throughout all of summer I would swat away any attempt of talking about hs admissions, which was dumb in hindsight, but none of my parents had to deal with the nyc school system, or private schools. Which were my only choice lol, because public school is decided on a lottery number, and mine was so bad that the thing that tells you your chances of getting into a specialized/public school had less than 5% for every single one. So yay for private schools and the namedropping and "ignore my adhd"-ing and donating and SO MANY DAMN ESSAYS that came with them. My mom kinda just refused to do the first two things, which I'm grateful for because it's morally slimey. I regret so much that I didn't work on my essays earlier though. It was torture. T O R T U R E. My essays, plus the adjustment from 7th grade homework to 8th grade homework was merciless for the first two-three months of school. By the end of the night I'd be crying. And then my mom would lecture me (after yelling at me about procrastinating, until I was in tears) about how I need to be more serious, and I've slacked off so much and it's coming back to bite me, and that I needed to stop being dumb (no mama it doesn't help that you called everyone else dumb too, I get that you meant 13-14 year olds are generally dumb, you still called me dumb. like a lot), that I should've done more extracurriculars/afterschool activities, what are we going to put on the form, blah blah blah. It got worse as it got closer to January. I needed to study for the ISEE retaking (funny how the two things I didn't study for got higher scores than 99% of other test takers in my area, mama) (ah yes my biggest flex), I needed to get my essays done, and they needed to be perfect, because school applications is just selling yourself, and if I can't be a STEM kid (lies, I could, I just don't like math and god forbid someone like science and not math), or a sports kid, then my writing needs to be gold. And I could write things I am so proud of, but it's not enough. There's always more rewrites and edits and I always wish my mom wasn't the head editor of her school newspaper because this sucks, and at the end of the day it's my fault for not reading enough essays, and my fault for being too buried in fantasy, and it's my fault for turning away from the real world. She justifies what she says, because I work well under pressure (true, but you could have apologized afterwords instead of just assuming I'd forgive you), because time is up (true, but you never apologized mama), because I had this coming the entire time and I could have stopped it if I locked in earlier, and it's all true, but that doesn't change the thoughts I've had because of your actions. I remember she was yelling at me over some mini-essays while I worked (I used to yell back, but that's just a waste of time), and my dad came in and was like "it is 12 at night you are very loud our kid is close to tears she can work on it in the morning," and they fight. My mom says she doesn't even know if I'll get a choice in school (that I'll only get accepted into one, which is stupid anyways, because all these schools are rigorous so isn't it something no matter what?), and I flee to the bathroom to shower and also just cry there because what do you mean you have driven me to the point of having rather died than been subjected to your yelling, to having thought I was stupid, naive, and destined to fail, to having scratched at my skin until it stung, never mind that it never bled, just to say that I can hurt myself more than you could hurt me (which I never could), and you don't think I'll succeed. At some point in time, when we are having one of those conversations where she is lecturing me, and I am close to tears, I manage to say what I've had in my head for a while, which is that I don't need her. I have friends and teachers to say I'm smart, to tell me not to worry, to tell me that I'm capable," and of course while I say that I break down crying because I am a shockingly tear-prone person, but I think a little, saying that helped. Anyways that's all over now, I never got my apology(ies), but she's said she's proud of me like four times, which is a lot for just six months (oh that is a miserable sentence to say). And I am so close, so close, to forgiving her when she says "I'm sorry about applications." She continues to apologize for saying those things to me, and then snorts and says not really, and that I know that while she loves me she doesn't regret anything. I wasn't that mad, she doesn't apologize, she just loves me anyways for all my flaws, and I try to forget that I didn't need an apology for my own insecurities, but for the fact that she pushed them onto me, because I am the same way. I don't say sorry, so much as "I love you, and I'm proud of you anyways." And then she says that she is sorry for not doing it sooner, and that's referring to everything she's said and screamed, because this could have all been avoided and she should've just gotten it over with, but I was always avoiding applications over the summer. And I just like???

HELLO????

What do you mean you aren't sorry for making me want to die, for making me hurt myself, for making me think I was stupid and had no hope, but you are sorry you didn't sooner??? IT'S NOT A TRIAL MAMA. That was not some kind of trial that you put a kid through like it's a coming of age thing. You cannot treat that like it was something to make me grow. I don't care if it came from a place in you that wants me to be the best me, because I didn't feel like the best me, and I still don't.

and it's so hard because my mom is either super nice, and funny, and supportive, or yelling at me

*hugs*

I hate arguing. 

That is alot. 

I wish I had the time right now to disect it rn.

Look. I know parents are rust. I got a bad set here. But sometimes you just need to 

We love you. Your smart. You matter. Your best. 

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

39 minutes ago, SpiritOfWrath said:

*hugs*
I don’t know what to say…

 

30 minutes ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

You weren’t kidding when you said that would be long.

First off: No parent should be that harsh on their kid. Maybe you should speak to your parents and explain how they’re making you feel (although I understand why that could be hard). But most importantly, regardless of what you’re mom insists, this is NOT ALL YOUR FAULT. Also, someone who “loves you unconditionally” should be able to apologize when they are wrong.

Essentially: don’t blame yourself for everything. Yes, you probably have room for improvement. But you’re also just a kid (or teenager, if kid sounds too condescending) and can’t be expected to be perfect. So, take some of the guilt off your shoulders. I’m sure you’ll get into a great school. And no, you don’t need to be a STEM kid or athlete to succeed. You just need to be yourself.

 

25 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

oh man

my mom is a lot like that

I feel a lot of that too; it's hard 

I'm sorry

 

7 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

*hugs*

I hate arguing. 

That is alot. 

I wish I had the time right now to disect it rn.

Look. I know parents are rust. I got a bad set here. But sometimes you just need to 

We love you. Your smart. You matter. Your best. 

THANK YOU ALL SM

*hugs. group hugs. giant group hugs*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, alittleinsane said:

 

 

 

THANK YOU ALL SM

*hugs. group hugs. giant group hugs*

*hugs aggressively*

Of course, my guy

[Existential]

....

 

Hi

 

You ever get just really sad for no reason

 

And you can't move

 

Don't feel

 

Barely wanna do anything

 

Even what you enjoy

 

And just sit there

 

Alone with your thoughts 

 

And hurting your own feelings?

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

9 minutes ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

....

 

Hi

 

You ever get just really sad for no reason

 

And you can't move

 

Don't feel

 

Barely wanna do anything

 

Even what you enjoy

 

And just sit there

 

Alone with your thoughts 

 

And hurting your own feelings?

Yeah. A lot. 

*hug*

It's hard feeling that way

And it's a really hard place to get out of 

It's ok to let it be hard for a bit 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

11 minutes ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

....

 

Hi

 

You ever get just really sad for no reason

 

And you can't move

 

Don't feel

 

Barely wanna do anything

 

Even what you enjoy

 

And just sit there

 

Alone with your thoughts 

 

And hurting your own feelings?

*hug*

yep

1 minute ago, Halcyon The Only said:

Yeah. A lot. 

*hug*

It's hard feeling that way

And it's a really hard place to get out of 

It's ok to let it be hard for a bit 

*hugs also*

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

13 minutes ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

....

 

Hi

 

You ever get just really sad for no reason

 

And you can't move

 

Don't feel

 

Barely wanna do anything

 

Even what you enjoy

 

And just sit there

 

Alone with your thoughts 

 

And hurting your own feelings?

Yeah, a lot...especially at night when we all crack

*hugs fiercely*

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

15 minutes ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

....

 

Hi

 

You ever get just really sad for no reason

 

And you can't move

 

Don't feel

 

Barely wanna do anything

 

Even what you enjoy

 

And just sit there

 

Alone with your thoughts 

 

And hurting your own feelings?

Yes. *hugs*

It's hard. I'm sorry.

If I can help in any way, let me know.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

12 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

And i geuss it's my turn to make one of these posts.

Tw: uhh sh

  Hide contents

I swear that the urges are getting worse the more i don't do it. Im scared to tell anyone because there's already enough crap going on. And I dunno how they will react. But it's like my body is gonna start moving on it's own. Last night, if it wasn't for @#1 Taln Fan i would have seriously hurt myself. Heh we joke that he's scary but he's not. He is really helpful. I can't stress that enough. 

Thanks for tuning into my ted talk

12 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

......

And i just slipped.

Turns out my mom disappeared again. 

She did this yesterday and the only logical thing is it being my fault. 

And i walked outa my room. Saw a knife and... well you know the story. 

10 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

Slightly better. 

My mom disappeared for two hours again but came back this time. 

Shes been really strange and closed off. My dad says she was being demanding of him yesterday. Whenever I try asking her where she went she just says to do stuff.

I know that ain't true. 

*hugs*

8 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

tis not a good day today, just kinda woke up feeling eh, couldn't find any satisfaction or happiness in what I usually do on weekends (laze around on screens, read), ignored my homework, and lay there with the fun little feeling that my body is slowly being destroyed ugh i hate weekends and i miss my classmates and i just don't like to be at home the entire day, but going outside requires interacting with my friends who i usually only see at school and i like it that way because i love them, but they are a lot sometimes

*hugs*

6 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

waitwaitwait i have more venting ugh the life of a teenager (TWs: sucky parents, typical teenager-under-stress "is it just easier if I die?" kind of thoughts, minor sh urges, generally very long, very angry, rather confusing to read rant):

  Reveal hidden contents

Ok so short storytime, my mom is kinda just fully a genius of some sort. She's smarter than me, and way more grounded in reality, and she doesn't care about my feelings in the moment, she cares about my health and happiness in the future. Throughout all of summer I would swat away any attempt of talking about hs admissions, which was dumb in hindsight, but none of my parents had to deal with the nyc school system, or private schools. Which were my only choice lol, because public school is decided on a lottery number, and mine was so bad that the thing that tells you your chances of getting into a specialized/public school had less than 5% for every single one. So yay for private schools and the namedropping and "ignore my adhd"-ing and donating and SO MANY DAMN ESSAYS that came with them. My mom kinda just refused to do the first two things, which I'm grateful for because it's morally slimey. I regret so much that I didn't work on my essays earlier though. It was torture. T O R T U R E. My essays, plus the adjustment from 7th grade homework to 8th grade homework was merciless for the first two-three months of school. By the end of the night I'd be crying. And then my mom would lecture me (after yelling at me about procrastinating, until I was in tears) about how I need to be more serious, and I've slacked off so much and it's coming back to bite me, and that I needed to stop being dumb (no mama it doesn't help that you called everyone else dumb too, I get that you meant 13-14 year olds are generally dumb, you still called me dumb. like a lot), that I should've done more extracurriculars/afterschool activities, what are we going to put on the form, blah blah blah. It got worse as it got closer to January. I needed to study for the ISEE retaking (funny how the two things I didn't study for got higher scores than 99% of other test takers in my area, mama) (ah yes my biggest flex), I needed to get my essays done, and they needed to be perfect, because school applications is just selling yourself, and if I can't be a STEM kid (lies, I could, I just don't like math and god forbid someone like science and not math), or a sports kid, then my writing needs to be gold. And I could write things I am so proud of, but it's not enough. There's always more rewrites and edits and I always wish my mom wasn't the head editor of her school newspaper because this sucks, and at the end of the day it's my fault for not reading enough essays, and my fault for being too buried in fantasy, and it's my fault for turning away from the real world. She justifies what she says, because I work well under pressure (true, but you could have apologized afterwords instead of just assuming I'd forgive you), because time is up (true, but you never apologized mama), because I had this coming the entire time and I could have stopped it if I locked in earlier, and it's all true, but that doesn't change the thoughts I've had because of your actions. I remember she was yelling at me over some mini-essays while I worked (I used to yell back, but that's just a waste of time), and my dad came in and was like "it is 12 at night you are very loud our kid is close to tears she can work on it in the morning," and they fight. My mom says she doesn't even know if I'll get a choice in school (that I'll only get accepted into one, which is stupid anyways, because all these schools are rigorous so isn't it something no matter what?), and I flee to the bathroom to shower and also just cry there because what do you mean you have driven me to the point of having rather died than been subjected to your yelling, to having thought I was stupid, naive, and destined to fail, to having scratched at my skin until it stung, never mind that it never bled, just to say that I can hurt myself more than you could hurt me (which I never could), and you don't think I'll succeed. At some point in time, when we are having one of those conversations where she is lecturing me, and I am close to tears, I manage to say what I've had in my head for a while, which is that I don't need her. I have friends and teachers to say I'm smart, to tell me not to worry, to tell me that I'm capable," and of course while I say that I break down crying because I am a shockingly tear-prone person, but I think a little, saying that helped. Anyways that's all over now, I never got my apology(ies), but she's said she's proud of me like four times, which is a lot for just six months (oh that is a miserable sentence to say). And I am so close, so close, to forgiving her when she says "I'm sorry about applications." She continues to apologize for saying those things to me, and then snorts and says not really, and that I know that while she loves me she doesn't regret anything. I wasn't that mad, she doesn't apologize, she just loves me anyways for all my flaws, and I try to forget that I didn't need an apology for my own insecurities, but for the fact that she pushed them onto me, because I am the same way. I don't say sorry, so much as "I love you, and I'm proud of you anyways." And then she says that she is sorry for not doing it sooner, and that's referring to everything she's said and screamed, because this could have all been avoided and she should've just gotten it over with, but I was always avoiding applications over the summer. And I just like???

HELLO????

What do you mean you aren't sorry for making me want to die, for making me hurt myself, for making me think I was stupid and had no hope, but you are sorry you didn't sooner??? IT'S NOT A TRIAL MAMA. That was not some kind of trial that you put a kid through like it's a coming of age thing. You cannot treat that like it was something to make me grow. I don't care if it came from a place in you that wants me to be the best me, because I didn't feel like the best me, and I still don't.

and it's so hard because my mom is either super nice, and funny, and supportive, or yelling at me

*hugs*

1 hour ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

....

 

Hi

 

You ever get just really sad for no reason

 

And you can't move

 

Don't feel

 

Barely wanna do anything

 

Even what you enjoy

 

And just sit there

 

Alone with your thoughts 

 

And hurting your own feelings?

Ohh yeah

*hugs*

Why’d y’all get into a hug-grapple when I’m NOT here??? Unfair

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs*

*hugs*

*hugs*

Ohh yeah

*hugs*

Why’d y’all get into a hug-grapple when I’m NOT here??? Unfair

*tackles hugs*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs*

*hugs*

*hugs*

Ohh yeah

*hugs*

Why’d y’all get into a hug-grapple when I’m NOT here??? Unfair

*TACKLES*

Just now, Clinically insane said:

*tackles hugs*

YOU NINJA YOU

*jumps in pile*

*hugs*

Edited March 10, 2025 by Through The Living Glass

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*TACKLES*

YOU NINJA YOU

*jumps in pile*

*hugs*

*giggles*

*hugs back*

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

4 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

*tackles hugs*

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*TACKLES*

YOU NINJA YOU

*jumps in pile*

*hugs*

*grapple hugs*

Spoiler

Scissor sweep to mount, dive roll out, then hugs

 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

what does that mean

. . .

GOODNIGHT :D:D

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

what does that mean

. . .

GOODNIGHT :D:D

Specific mumbo jumbo that describes what I’m doing ‘cause I’m odd

Some might even call me…queer

Nighty night

[Existential]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

what does that mean

. . .

GOODNIGHT :D:D

NOOOOOOOO COME BACK

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

5 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Specific mumbo jumbo that describes what I’m doing ‘cause I’m odd

Some might even call me…queer

Nighty night

*ba dum tss*

4 minutes ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

NOOOOOOOO COME BACK

what

[Existential]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

what

never mind

I'm tired and braindead ignore me

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

never mind

I'm tired and braindead ignore me

*hug*

[Keke They/he]

19 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*grapple hugs*

  Reveal hidden contents

Scissor sweep to mount, dive roll out, then hugs

 

Backflip kick spin double knife dodge.

17 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Specific mumbo jumbo that describes what I’m doing ‘cause I’m odd

Some might even call me…queer

Nighty night

Oh no we are what we identify as. 

*becomes a pan made into an arrow with an ace as the point*

Gahgh

Edited March 10, 2025 by Clinically insane

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 minute ago, Clinically insane said:

Backflip kick spin double knife dodge.

Oh no we are what we identify as. 

*becomes a pan made into an arrow with an ace as the point*

Gahgh

Nice dodge

*ouch* that’s pointy

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

So I kinda accidentally hurt myself last night 

I was talking to my mom and feeling really stressed and for some reason I decided it was a good idea to scratch away the skin of my knuckle so now the skin is partially gone and it hurts more than I was expecting 

so now it looks like I have a rly bad burn 

and I’m still stressed 

and I’m about to take a nap rather than do anything abt it