Mental health club!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 hour ago, Just A Silvereye said:

Sorry all I don't have the time or energy to write out responses to you

But *hugs for everyone*

I hope you can get over whatever you are struggling with 

Anyway I came to rant

  Hide contents

Im so tired of me

Why can't I bring myself to work 

I have 9 exams to work on

Starting next Wednesday 

And I still haven't started

I've had most of the last two days free

And I haven't done anything

I just... stay there, wasting time and wasting myself

Burning the hours and refusing to go to sleep Because I can't admit that I haven't done anything today 

And I know where this leads

Because this is really like what was happening last year at the same moment

And last year I failed completely

And that's why I've been retaking the year

And now I've gone full circle and I'm back where I was then

But I haven't gotten better

And I am perfectly on course to fail spectacularly

again

And I really want to punch that idiot in the mirror who can't even put in a minute of work just to pass the year

 

 

 

Also my school is starting to get on my nerves 

Switching stuff around constantly without asking us or even telling us that they did it

Why do you keep spamming us with emails about events we can't go to because they fall during class or about internship offers for entirely unrelated things

But when it's stuff that we should actually be told about they can't even type à couple lines

Good night everyone

*squeeze*

Oh, Silver 

I'm sorry

I hope you'll be able to figure things out

1 hour ago, Hawks said:

 

 

To say I threw my phone is the truth. Luckily it didn't break

*hugs* 

I don't got good advice. *side eyes missing work*

Can't help but can hug *hugs*

*hug*

[𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊]

9 hours ago, echo74 said:

  Hide contents

when you realize your dad is an actual child and that he's a completely absent father and that the only thing he really does for you is exist and talk to you every once in a while but it's usually disrespectful bc it'll be a negative comment on your outfit or your music or your friends or whatever

and then you're trying to talk to the family about something and he interrupts and starts playing and giggling with your sister

and your sister tells him to stop but he doesn't

and she tells him again but he doesn't

bc he only sees her as a child

and then when i tell him to stop he gets upset

and he's like "geez i was just trying to have fun"

and he walks back grumpily to pay attention

but he doesn't even pay attention bc he's on his dang phone

and when he's really upset he throws things at your mom or yells at you

you even remember one time when you were little and you snuck out of bed and he got really mad so he grabbed you and threw you back in bed

and it's really scary

and when you're upset he doesn't come and comfort you or offer support

he offers your mom support but not you and you don't know why and you just wish your dad would pay attention to you and get off his dang phone for once in his dang life

and then you realize that you're a lot like your dad bc you also are kinda lazy and antisocial sometimes

and you spend a lot of time on your phone

and that scares you so you push yourself to be social bc you don't want to hurt other people the way your dad hurt you

just by not being there

 

Yeah, you just described my dad as well. I feel your pain. My dad doesn't even comfort my mom. She has a mental breakdown every few days.

*hugs*

*tears*

*more hugs*

Edited March 28, 2025 by 𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Heyyyy crying is fun I love this I need hugs I think I’ll be ok but I would rly love some hugs thanks guys

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

11 minutes ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Heyyyy crying is fun I love this I need hugs I think I’ll be ok but I would rly love some hugs thanks guys

*hug*

YOU GOT THIS!!

[echo74 she/her]

33 minutes ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Heyyyy crying is fun I love this I need hugs I think I’ll be ok but I would rly love some hugs thanks guys

*hug*

i hope you’re feeling better

56 minutes ago, 𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊 said:

Yeah, you just described my dad as well. I feel your pain. My dad doesn't even comfort my mom. She has a mental breakdown every few days.

*hugs*

*tears*

*more hugs*

*hugs*

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

1 hour ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Heyyyy crying is fun I love this I need hugs I think I’ll be ok but I would rly love some hugs thanks guys

*hugs*

I KNOW you will be ok

[MirkerLurker she/her]

Hooo boy, a lot happened on here in the past few days! First off:
HUGS FOR EVERYONE
And now, to responses:

 

On 3/25/2025 at 6:14 PM, echo74 said:

hey guys.

(cw - suicide, death, grief)

  Hide contents

this morning i found out from a friend that a girl at school committed suicide yesterday

about an hour ago the school sent out an email announcing her death

i've been sitting here for about the past half hour grieving her

i didn't know her

i'm still sad, though

i'm sad for her friends

i'm sad for her family

i'm sad for everyone who gets affected because of it

i'm sad that she didn't think she could reach out for help

i'm sad that she thought she had to die

i'm sad that she died

suicide's a topic that's always been really close to my heart, especially because i was so close to doing it myself a few years ago at fsy

i wasn't the one who stopped me -- someone else did

someone else walked in and invited me to play a game of mash

i agreed, because i was ashamed

i didn't want her to know

i never told her that she literally saved my life that day

if she hadn't been there, i might be exactly like this girl

i might be dead

and a strange might be grieving my death

grieving it as if it was her own

please

never ever ever kill yourself

it's not worth it

trust me

 

*hug*
 

On 3/25/2025 at 6:24 PM, TwinStorm said:

cw 

  Hide contents

I'm scared

not for me

but for other people

I'm afraid I'll hurt the people around me

whenever I hold a sharp knife its just...

idk

and it scares me

I don't know what to do

its not a bad thing ig

im able to protect people 

but still

terrifying to me

 

On 3/25/2025 at 10:05 PM, TwinStorm said:

yeah

ik

but im worried about closer people

and myself

I cut myself with a kitchen knife on accident on Sunday

and I keep on reliving the sensation of knife entering flesh

its disturbing

On 3/25/2025 at 10:12 PM, TwinStorm said:

but the scariest thing is, it felt. . . like I could do it to other people

I think if I was attacked, I could and would fight back in self defence

but I'm worried about what happens if I lash out

First off: I know that feel. The feel of reliving/imagining a sensation, a moment, an idea over and over.

For me, it wasn't a worry that I'd lash out in anger, but in...curiousity, I guess? Lack of caring? Finally giving in? I used to imagine, over and over, what it would feel like to slide a knife into someone's chest, right between their ribs. Or across their stomach, or across their neck. I used to visualize the expression on their face, as they realized what I'd just done. I'd stand there, talking to a friend, and in the back of my head that scenario would be playing out; focusing on details like the feel of the knife moving, the smell of the blood, their eyes.

And also what Hoid_Slayer said here:

On 3/25/2025 at 10:09 PM, Hoid_Slayer said:

But you know the sensation when, say, you’re standing on a balcony and just imagine leaping off. Not because you want to hurt yourself, or feel the need to do so, but just because you can. And it’s scary because you imagine how easy it would be. And how close you are to doing it. Even though it would make no sense to do it.

YES THIS! You said it perfectly! Both for leaping off myself, or for pushing someone else off. It makes no sense; but I can. I could do it. Right now. And you realize you're almost about to do it, simply because you can. And it's terrifying. I used to think of myself as a monster, secretly. Deep down where no one could see, because I never let them see; and so I could never believe anyone when they told me I was a good person or complimented me. Because none of them saw what I was really like, deep down inside me.
That has faded a lot in the last few years. I still have the thoughts now and then, but...mildly, softly; almost more a reminiscence than a real thought.

Hang on, I got distracted and went off on a tangent. Hey TwinStorm, do you know any strategies for dealing with intrusive thoughts? I would suggest looking some up if not. They can help you feel in control of your thoughts - or at least, in control of keeping your thoughts from turning into actions without your consent.

For example: Whenever the thought (in this case, the sensation of the knife) comes up, visualize gently placing that thought in a box, tying it shut, placing it off to the side, and replace it with a different thought. What thought you replace it with is up to you, but you should decide on it ahead of time and then stick with it. It can be something connected to the thought you're getting rid of - a counter, an opposite, an encouragement - or it can be something completely unrelated, to get you off of that subject. For a sensation, I replace with a different sensation, whether real or imagined. Flowing water, the edge of a zipper, petting a cat/dog - something nonharmful. 

 

On 3/25/2025 at 6:44 PM, reisleK said:

Firstly, hugs to anyone and everyone who wants one.

Secondly, I'm contemplating breaking up with my partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/insert any other term here. 
Rant incoming (sticking it in here because I predict it will be LONG):
For reference, they use he/they pronouns

  Hide contents

Why, you might ask? I just... don't feel like I used to. They visited like two days ago and my mom was like "They seem to be so much more into you than you are into them." and thinking about it, I think it's true. I love him, but sometimes I feel like it's mostly platonic but it also ebbs and flows. I just feel like a good girlfriend wouldn't contemplate breaking up every few months. But it would not only crush him and I care way too much to do that but what if I regret it later? Since I know my love for him fluctuates (he's aware of it) I worry that it'd be a stupid mistake. But maybe we just need to communicate more and breaking up seems like a good escape? We're long distance at this point which is hard (our schools are an hour away from each other but we live maybe 4-5 hours away. He lives in an area where I have a ton of family so it's not very hard to get there.)

Also he's very future thinking which I'm not, it also stresses me out and makes me feel trapped. Like why are you talking about us getting married?? We are in HIGHSCHOOL!!! Our frontal lobes are NOT fully developed. 

I just feel like our relationship should be "better". I have school therapy (since I'm at boarding school) tomorrow and I'll talk to her about it but I also want to talk to my home therapist before too. 

I just feel like I'd crush him if I broke up with him and I just worry. They're at a therapeutic boarding school and will be until August so I know he'll be safe, which is the most important part just ARRGHHH

They also used to be like my safe person in the sense that when I'm stressed, their presence was calming but I don't know anymore. 

I learned that he could come to prom at my school and I'm just... disappointed. Which isn't a good sign. Maybe it's social pressure since they don't conform to the vibe (for a lack of a better word) just like arghhh. 

Pros and Cons 

Pros:
Don't have to figure out what we do in the future going off to college and stuff
Don't have to worry about any of this
I won't be leading them on (though if this goes away than its irrelevant)
I consider breaking up before college (we're juniors in high school) anyway and now (or anytime between now and august) would in theory be a good time. 
Being single would probably give me more time to work on relationship work with my therapist over the summer

Cons:
I'll loose them as not only a partner but as a friend as well (there's a slight chance we could still be friends but I'm not sure)
He's one of my last connections to my old school and he can wrangle my friend who never responds to texts
He'd be crushed
His family would be crushed
I'd feel bad/Guilty
I might regret it
It might make more sense just to see how it goes for now
I wouldn't be able to attend prom at my old school and see my friends


Just wanted to rant. 

Anyway, I should probably go to dinner. 

I'm going to give a piece of advice, but ultimately, it's up to you. First, a word of encouragement: Life will continue regardless of what you choose. You, and he, can move on and grow and heal either way. Your choice is important, but it's not world-ending. Breathe, relax, and think it through.

Advice: Emotions are unreliable. Important, but unreliable. Think about how compatible you guys are from a lifestyle standpoint: Do you tend to make decisions together well? Do you work well together, are you able to talk through and resolve conflict with each other? Do you have things you enjoy together - activities, interests? Do you have shared or similar belief systems (that one might sound odd, but it's a lot easier to trust and work with someone who is approaching life from the same base assumptions that you are). I know you're only in high school right now, so you're not thinking of long-term, but it sounds like he is, and that's scaring you a little. Can you guys talk through that? Is that indicative that you two don't approach this the same way?
Long-distance relationships can be hard to continue to feel the emotions of, depending on how you receive love. For me, I emotionally feel loved and cared for through touch, so a long-distance relationship didn't give me that at all. (My at-the-time bf and I were long-distance for a year, and it was rough for me. And mind you, that was emotionally specifically - logically, my bf was taking care of me well, phone calls, messages, visting when possible, etc. I knew logically he was amazing, but emotionally I was struggling.)
But for someone who emotionally feels loved when someone listens to them and has good conversation with them and spends time with them, that can work more easily with phone calls and video calls, and the emotions still come through. Remember, your emotions don't always line up with your logic. And a large part of a relationship is choice: choosing that one person, again and again, whether your emotions are there or not. Emotional love can grow, and can be grown, with choice and time.
BUT: again, you are in high school. You don't need to be making a committed long-term choice right now. And if the idea of doing that scares you, or makes you uncomfortable, then definitely don't stay in a relationship that would require that in order to grow and function.

*hug*
Hope that helps some, rather than making things more confusing. And if it doesn't help, toss it out!

 

 

22 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs*

*more hugs*

Sprichst du noch Deutsch, oder war das nur Google Translate?

*hugs*

*hugs*

Just dropped to a 9

  Hide contents

Romantic rant/issues rant

My brain hates me again. Context first: I have horrible luck with crushes. Literally every person I’ve ever had a crush on isn’t interested in guys, is aroace, or is already dating someone. Like why

So that doesn’t help my mood a lot of days. Then there is my general sense of self-hatred and the knowledge/assumption that: a) nobody likes me except a few people who don’t fully know me and b) anybody who is my friend is only my friend for some higher purpose, i.e. they want something and will use me to get it. Plus, I have severe trust issues that really lead me to not believe when said friends try to convince me otherwise. Logically, I know all this is (probably) false, but I can’t convince my instincts of that.

(That’s why I put things in spoiler boxes—‘cause I assume nobody really reads them and I don’t want to clutter the page more)

So I’ve once again been analyzing the actions of those around me and driving myself crazy trying to figure out what they want. Yeah solid 9

 

I use danke schon and bitte in regular conversation, and I have no idea why. (I know you asked Hawks, but I do that too.) I also know a handful of random german words thanks to my HEMA group, which trains using the german words for techniques, since we're following old German manuals. But, sadly, I don't actually speak any German.

Also:
Of course I read what you write. (I often appreciate the spoiler boxes, because visually it helps me sort through what I'm reading...but of course I read what you write. I want to.)
On relationships...yeah. Sorry. The whole world of romance is stupidly complicated and it sucks. 
As for trust...that can be a long journey. I hope being on here can help a little; though it's not the same as in-person, physical people who you can interact with.

 

Aaaaaand I really need to go to bed, but there's so much more to respond to! So many more people to hug! I'll come back to this tomorrow or Saturday. in the meantime, you all are doing amazing. You're here, you're still trying, and that's amazing.

Ok, I have time for a hug:

1 hour ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Heyyyy crying is fun I love this I need hugs I think I’ll be ok but I would rly love some hugs thanks guys

*HUG*

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Thanks y’all (I’d quote y’all but there’s so many. But seriously thank you guys. I love all y’all)

 

*hugs to everyone*

*double hugs for those who especially need hugs*

 

4 hours ago, Wittles said:

My hands are pretty much the only things I think of positively about myself usually

I was teased/minorly bullied about my height for most of my life, so there's not a lot about that to like

not especially

RECLAIM YOUR HEIGHT

There’s always a good thing about any height

 

2 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Heyyyy crying is fun I love this I need hugs I think I’ll be ok but I would rly love some hugs thanks guys

U PUNCH

(You understand)

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

4 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Thanks y’all (I’d quote y’all but there’s so many. But seriously thank you guys. I love all y’all)

 

*hugs to everyone*

*double hugs for those who especially need hugs*

 

RECLAIM YOUR HEIGHT

There’s always a good thing about any height

 

U PUNCH

(You understand)

I do understand thank you

[Existential]

19 hours ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

*bear hugs back*

We’re here for you. No matter what. If it’s hurting you so much, maybe you should drop it. And if you choose not to, then you definitely have to keep complaining. Make your voice heard. But most importantly, take care of yourself.

You sound like glass

Thanks

19 hours ago, echo74 said:

that's so frustrating

is there anyone who does help out?

Yes and no, cause they help, they just don't help me I guess

That and apparently they've been deliberately pissing me off

19 hours ago, Hawks said:

*mumbles not shard aloud words*

*huge bear hugs*

Feel free to call/message me if you need to yell at anything

taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks

*hugs*

18 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hugs*

You should quit

I know

But I don't know if I should at the same time

People need my help there

Idk if I can just dip out

17 hours ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Not sure how old you are, so that's definitely a factor, but I would recommend taking time to sit and meditate on what specific things cause you the most stress/mental affliction. Sometimes there are other factors making us stressed/miserable, and then work just makes it worse, and every little thing just adds on to the pile. In that case, it's better to address the root problems. But if you find that work is the main thing negatively affecting your mental health, then it may be worth quitting, or at least finding better ways to manage stress. 

18. and thanks

 

Sorry all if I missed any it's 3 AM I'm like dying internally and I wasn't really available to get on all day

 

and there is a lot of people that need hugs and I've done a lot of quoting so *HUGS TO YOU ALL*

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

12 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Heyyyy crying is fun I love this I need hugs I think I’ll be ok but I would rly love some hugs thanks guys

*hugshugshugs*

16 hours ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

It's winter for me. It's so bleak.

Ugh yeah spring feels bleak for me but like mentally like there’s nothing to do but wait for school to finish and I can’t get anything done which just gives me bad thoughts

[Shatter He/Him]

3 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

*hugshugshugs*

Ugh yeah spring feels bleak for me but like mentally like there’s nothing to do but wait for school to finish and I can’t get anything done which just gives me bad thoughts

The only reason I like spring is because it isn't winter. And there are flowers and tadpoles and I can explore

[Mags she/they]

I love spring because it's the only time the temperature is nice outside.

Plus it's when my favorite flowers bloom.

And there's my birthday.

And we get out of school . . . 

There's a lot of reasons hehehe. My spring break starts in like 2 hours, but I have a done of work to do while we're not in school.

[MirkerLurker she/her]

I can't remember if I've shared this here before. I might have, my brain does not do well at distinguishing real memories from imagined ones or past ones from current ones...

But hey, this belongs here.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 hour ago, Mag said:

I love spring because it's the only time the temperature is nice outside.

Plus it's when my favorite flowers bloom.

And there's my birthday.

And we get out of school . . . 

There's a lot of reasons hehehe. My spring break starts in like 2 hours, but I have a done of work to do while we're not in school.

YO SAME :D:D

only half an hour . . .

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

YO SAME :D:D

only half an hour . . .

55 minutes 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

4 minutes ago, Mag said:

55 minutes 

*cackles*

I GET FREE SOONER :D:D

no but fr you're sooooo close

you can do it!

[Mags she/they]

11 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*cackles*

I GET FREE SOONER :D:D

no but fr you're sooooo close

you can do it!

askdjf;asdjflkjasd;lfkjs;dlkfjs;adlkfj;sladkfj;lskdfjlsdkjf'asldkf;asdklfj;asdkfjslkdfj

I don't know glass

what if a meteor hits me before the bell rings

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Mag said:

askdjf;asdjflkjasd;lfkjs;dlkfjs;adlkfj;sladkfj;lskdfjlsdkjf'asldkf;asdklfj;asdkfjslkdfj

I don't know glass

what if a meteor hits me before the bell rings

I will deflect all the meteors

Besides the changes of that happening (based on past data) are

*calculates*

.00000000085470085%

Of course even that event was a complete fluke

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

15 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*cackles*

I GET FREE SOONER :D:D

no but fr you're sooooo close

you can do it!

4 minutes ago, Mag said:

askdjf;asdjflkjasd;lfkjs;dlkfjs;adlkfj;sladkfj;lskdfjlsdkjf'asldkf;asdklfj;asdkfjslkdfj

I don't know glass

what if a meteor hits me before the bell rings

I don't have spring break 

[Mags she/they]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

I will deflect all the meteors

Besides the changes of that happening (based on past data) are

*calculates*

.00000000085470085%

but there's still a chance 

30 minutes to go ! ! ! ! ! !

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, Hoid_Slayer said:

I don't have spring break 

why

Just now, Mag said:

but there's still a chance 

30 minutes to go ! ! ! ! ! !

WRONG

*loving slap*

NO

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

why

WRONG

*loving slap*

NO

aaw

*loving meteor crash*

whoops I guess it's my time

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

why

I'm in Panama, so different schedule.

I DO have semana santa (holy week) in April though.

But that's still in three weeks 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

9 minutes ago, Mag said:

aaw

*loving meteor crash*

whoops I guess it's my time

HEY

*blocks*

BAD

7 minutes ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

I'm in Panama, so different schedule.

I DO have semana santa (holy week) in April though.

But that's still in three weeks 

grr