Mental health club!

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

6 minutes ago, Wittles said:

Precisely

"While he was playing chess, I WAS FARMING POTATOES"

"But... That's like 15 hours, Technoblade."

"Revolution waits for no man."

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

7 hours ago, MirkerLurker said:

 

YES

Numb. Not even numb per se, not the heavy weighted numb of depression, just...not responding. Not caring. Like, am I some kind of monster? What's wrong with me? At least strong emotions I understand - they hurt, they're terrible, but they make sense. It makes sense to feel awful when you hate yourself. But thinking, looking at those thoughts and just...nothing? If I don't care, what matters? If I don't care, how do I stop myself from actually doing the horrible things my brain comes up with? Who will I hurt first - myself or someone else? There were times when I feel like the only reason I didn't pull a knife and stab someone for no reason other than mild curiousity, or push them off a ledge to see how badly they broke upon impact, or actually go through with drawing a blade across my throat, was because logically, that would cause more trouble than it's worth, and I didn't care enough to bother handling the hassle. Which should be terrifying, but in those moments, it wasn't terrifying - it wasn't anything.
Until later, when I was feeling things again, and then I felt I must be some kind of monster, to want to torture or break someone out of curiousity. And the thought of who even was that, because the "me" that's feeling emotions thinks of that and is horrified, and can't reconcile the two voices, and who even is this in my head?

(side note: yeah the shard merges posts if you make several in a row without someone else posting between them. Caught me by surprise too lol)

 

Psychiatrist approaches mental health from a physical standpoint: They study brain chemistry and interactions between the brain and body and so forth, so they can prescribe medications in addition to counseling. A psychologist or therapist or counselor studies the mental aspects, thought patterns, behavioral patterns, etc; not that they don't learn how mental health affects the body, but they approach it from the mind and thoughts first, and how that then affects the body, instead of vice-versa. If that makes sense.

But also, every doctor of any kind, and schoolteacher too for that matter, is a mandated reporter, if that's what you're concerned about.
And because of that, I spent my high school years lying to people, out of fear that someone would find out and take away my control. Tell me I no longer had any choice in how I handled what I was going through. I did go to counseling (mandated, after I missed 50 days out of a single school year), but I glossed over and hid parts of what I was feeling and doing. Carefully curated what I talked about, presented things that fit the standard depression checklist but weren't bad enough to, in my mind, risk getting forced into anything. (Ironic, after ending up in mandated counseling, but hey, no one said mental health issues are logical.)
Here's my takeaway from that:
Not being fully honest meant the counseling didn't do crem. It was a bandaid on a broken limb; reminded me to keep faking it better so I could 'pass' in general society, but didn't actually help worth a storm. Now that I'm in counseling again, but this time being fully honest with my therapist, I'm seeing how much of a difference it makes. And that, as much as I hate this thought, it probably would have gone better for me if I'd been honest back in earlier years.

I'm not necessarily trying to say you should be too. I don't know your situation - I'm fortunate to have a mom who's very supportive of mental health, for example, so I didn't have to worry about getting punished for it by her. (Didn't stop my brain from trying to prevent her from finding out anyway, of course). Not everybody has that luxury.
I'm not here to push you into anything. But I want you to have information I didn't have. Take what pieces help you, drop what pieces don't. And maybe see that it can get better.

 

Theatre kids! Woo!
I was a backstage techie, I hung out with theater kids all the time in high school! So much fun.

 

For better. Definitely for better.

*whispers from underneath the couch* thank you

[Keke They/he]

9 hours ago, KnightSkye said:

"Whatever you do, don't show all your techniques on a YouTube video. You fool, you moron.

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of War"

 

9 hours ago, Wittles said:

Precisely

"While he was playing chess, I WAS FARMING POTATOES"

 

9 hours ago, KnightSkye said:

"But... That's like 15 hours, Technoblade."

"Revolution waits for no man."

ALL OF THESE ARE AWESOME

"You must train for another 1000 years if you wish to defeat me"

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

Yall wish me luck I have a recital in like 30 minutes, no anxiety so far, but there were no people during the dress rehearsal. (I play the violin)

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

8 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

Yall wish me luck I have a recital in like 30 minutes, no anxiety so far, but there were no people during the dress rehearsal. (I play the violin)

Luck wished

*lucky hugs*

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

Heyyyy homies. Yall have sick brains too?!?!?!?!

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

13 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

Yall wish me luck I have a recital in like 30 minutes, no anxiety so far, but there were no people during the dress rehearsal. (I play the violin)

Eep good luck

Just now, Ironwill2112 said:

Heyyyy homies. Yall have sick brains too?!?!?!?!

Ye. Our brains are sick but that's ok  

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

4 minutes ago, Ironwill2112 said:

Heyyyy homies. Yall have sick brains too?!?!?!?!

Yesssssss wheeeee

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

5 minutes ago, Halcyon The Only said:

 

Ye. Our brains are sick but that's ok  

YES! YES IT IS!!!!!

sorry I love identifying random lyrics haha

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

Just now, Ironwill2112 said:

YES! YES IT IS!!!!!

sorry I love identifying random lyrics haha

no me too it's the best 

[Wittles he/him]

1 hour ago, Ironwill2112 said:

Heyyyy homies. Yall have sick brains too?!?!?!?!

Spoiler

I want to seeee

I WANT TO SAAAAYYY

Hello

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

3 minutes ago, Wittles said:

  Reveal hidden contents

I want to seeee

I WANT TO SAAAAYYY

Hello

Go to the skeleton crew thing 

it’s new

NO FRL I LOVE THAT SONG 

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

1 hour ago, Ironwill2112 said:

Heyyyy homies. Yall have sick brains too?!?!?!?!

Hi! Yes, sick brains club!! I swear sometimes my thoughts are out to get me…betrayal

[Wittles he/him]

Just now, Halcyon The Only said:

Go to the skeleton crew thing 

it’s new

NO FRL I LOVE THAT SONG 

I just did  :D.

ME TOOOOO

I hope to one day create something half as amazing as that one

the song is called Trees, if anyone was curious

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

24 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

Hi! Yes, sick brains club!! I swear sometimes my thoughts are out to get me…betrayal

So true

24 minutes ago, Wittles said:

I just did  :D.

ME TOOOOO

I hope to one day create something half as amazing as that one

the song is called Trees, if anyone was curious

fantastic song

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

Oh yeah y’all the recital went well, it’s my fifth time, so I guess practice? Still kinda scary though…

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

Oh yeah y’all the recital went well, it’s my fifth time, so I guess practice? Still kinda scary though…

AYYY that's great!

[MirkerLurker she/her]

 

20 hours ago, KnightSkye said:

Yes! 

"See, I was using and advanced technique called *zooms in on face* Lying."

I now associate this quote with Shallan.

That is SUCH a Shallan quote ohmygoodness.

 

19 hours ago, Wittles said:

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

Good night 

Also, the Great Potato War is possibly one of my favorite pieces of media to ever exist

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

 

13 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

*whispers from underneath the couch* thank you

*hugs* very welcome.

 

3 hours ago, Ironwill2112 said:

Heyyyy homies. Yall have sick brains too?!?!?!?!

Yussssss. Welcome!

 

1 hour ago, alittleinsane said:

Oh yeah y’all the recital went well, it’s my fifth time, so I guess practice? Still kinda scary though…

Very belated good luck, and glad it went well!

21 hours ago, KnightSkye said:

Oh! This is the perfect place to share this.

 

*dance dance twirl* 

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

Guysssss all the people I like don't like me back and I don't trust my friends when they say they like me as a human 

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Guysssss all the people I like don't like me back and I don't trust my friends when they say they like me as a human 

*hug*

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

5 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Guysssss all the people I like don't like me back and I don't trust my friends when they say they like me as a human 

*pulls into a bear crushing hug*

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

*hugs everyone*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

23 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Guysssss all the people I like don't like me back and I don't trust my friends when they say they like me as a human 

*HUG*

I'm sorry

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

I found the cool person club! (‘Cause we’re the coolest, let’s be real)

53 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Guysssss all the people I like don't like me back and I don't trust my friends when they say they like me as a human 

I feel that, I’m sorry

*hug*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

4 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I found the cool person club! (‘Cause we’re the coolest, let’s be real)

I feel that, I’m sorry

*hug*

We are