SUPER HUGE WARNING: Don't take your stick for granted!

[Lightflame]

Okay, so I know that you all love your stick, but I'm here with a grave warning.
 
As all of you that have heard of it can probably figure out, my primary fandom is the Warrior Cats one. We had a totally amazing stick character once, one that was owned by a character named Rock. The stick was in a totally canon relationship with a sarcastic blind cat named Jayfeather, and all was well.
 
Then this happened.
 

Jayfeather stared at him, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. "So you lied, and every cat lied, for the sake of the prophecy?" Rage was building inside him until he was angrier than he'd every been before in his life; he dug his claws hard into the ground to stop himself from raking Rock's eyes out. "Do you think it was worth it? Do you? I thought you were my friend!"

Slowly Rock shook his head. "I am no cat's friend. I know too much for friendship. Be glad that you will never be burdened with the knowledge that I have. My curse is to live forever, knowing what has been and what has yet to be, powerless to change anything."

His outline began to fade. As it vanished, Jayfeather's fury erupted. He felt around on the ground until he located a sharp stone. Then he snatched up the stick, balanced it across the stone, and brought his forepaws smashing down on one end. He heard the stick break, and splinters pierced his paws. Rock and the ancient Clans had betrayed him, too. Did no cat tell the truth, ever?

In the same heartbeat, thunder crashed out overhead, rolling around the sky. Rain cascaded down onto the lakebed. Jayfeather crouched under the bank, his jaws wide in a soundless wail, and wrapped his paws over his ears.

- Warrior Cats: Omen of the Stars: The Fourth Apprentice, Pages 277-278.

So what does The Stormlight Archive have in common with Warrior Cats? Well, there's a stick. There's a guy called Rock. And the sarcastic Hoid refers to himself as a blind man.

So all I'm saying is, don't take your stick for granted. Something could happen to it. Rock could offend Hoid by calling him an airsick lowlander, causing Hoid to break the stick. If that happens, you want the stick to know how much you loved it, and you want to know that you spent every moment you could with your wonderful, beautiful stick.

Beware. The Warrior Cats fandom took our stick for granted, and we've never quite recovered from it.

[Fifth of Daybreak]

I....why.....but....all the feels...

[Lightsworn Panda]

Lightflame, you can spot a Hoid in almost every book. Try finding Hoid in a Doctor Seuss book.

[Armless writer]

Lightflame, you can spot a Hoid in almost every book. Try finding Hoid in a Doctor Seuss book.

 

Is it just me or is that the cat in the hat.

[Kobold King]

Lightflame, you can spot a Hoid in almost every book. Try finding Hoid in a Doctor Seuss book.

Hoid is Peter the Postman, a character referenced in Oh, the Things You Can Think.

 

You see, Peter the Postman crosses the ice once every day, and on Saturdays twice. Peter the Postman is confronted by a number of dangers, including slippery ice and sinister looking walruses, in order to deliver mail to what seems to be a small village. This is similar to Hoid, who constantly travels the Cosmere delivering help and cryptic information to protagonists.

 

The ice therefore represents Shadesmar. The theme of the book is "things you can think", thus confirming that the whole book takes place in the Cognitive Realm. Oh, the Places You'll Go therefore takes place in the Physical Realm, and Green Eggs and Ham takes place in the Spiritual.

 

From this we can make several assumptions. The walruses Peter encounters are the 17th Shard, trying to catch up with him. This indicates that the Cat in the Hat is the recipient of the Letter, which further implies that Horton the Elephant is Adonalsium (the Grinch, obviously, is Odium).

 

I will conclude my analysis by asserting my confidence that the entire collected works of Brandon Sanderson are the greatest works of Dr. Seus fanfiction ever written. I thank Lightsworn Panda and Armless writer for opening my eyes to these truths.

[Lightsworn Panda]

 

 

...Horton the Elephant is Adonalsium (the Grinch, obviously, is Odium).

Wait, so Horton SPLIT into 16 pieces!? And Odium will become nice?

(sob). Childhood ruined. (sniff)

(wait, green eggs and ham exist in the spiritual realm? Does that mean pink bananas do too?)

[Steel]

I beg to differ, o ye of little faith, o Lightflame. Stick cannot be destroyed. Stick cannot be changed. Stick is forever Stick. DO. NOT. DEFY. THE. STICKINESS. OF. THE. MIGHTY. AND. EVERLASTING. STICK. I! AM! STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!