Little_Dagger Posted December 18, 2022 Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 (edited) Hello, I have written this story as a gift for my husband's birthday, he enjoyed it and said I should post it here. I thought it would be great to get some less-biased feedback (there is no telling how much of his enthusiasm is about the story and how much about me writing it for him, haha), and agreed. So here we go. A few notes on the fanfic (here is the Link). First, it takes place between the second and the third books of the Stormlight Archive. It assumes that you are familiar with Roshar and doesn't spend page space describing either the magic system or the world. Second, even though I had a very specific target audience and most of the characters are reminiscent of people in our lives, it is fiction enough to be read by any Stormlight fan. I hope you enjoy it! Third, it is 39,000 words, half detective story, half romace. P.S. it is the first piece of fiction I have ever written, so constructive criticism is very welcome. I intend to keep improving on this Edited January 4 by Little._.Dagger 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldbackpac Posted December 18, 2022 Report Share Posted December 18, 2022 I read the story and couldn't put it down. Absolutely wonderful read about a part of Roshar that we know is in peril but isn't mentioned in any of the main line books because none of our main characters are there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little_Dagger Posted December 19, 2022 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2022 On 12/18/2022 at 3:38 PM, Oldbackpac said: I read and couldn't put it down. Absolutely wonderful read about a part of Roshar that we know is in peril but isn't mentioned in any of the main line because none of our are there. Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethG Posted October 28, 2023 Report Share Posted October 28, 2023 This is WONDERFUL! I LOVE it! Beautifully written. I love that you created all your own characters. You developed them well and I love the romance. ( I love that Pattis’ description reminded me of Kaladin, too). A+ from an old English teacher! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethG Posted October 28, 2023 Report Share Posted October 28, 2023 Who did the artwork? It’s fantastic! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little_Dagger Posted October 28, 2023 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2023 5 hours ago, BethG said: This is WONDERFUL! I LOVE it! Beautifully written. I love that you created all your own characters. You developed them well and I love the romance. ( I love that Pattis’ description reminded me of Kaladin, too). A+ from an old English teacher! Thank you! My husband will be very happy to hear that a character who I based on him has Kaladin vibes Also, I am writing my first novel right now (about 120k words in), and while I feel like I've grown a lot as a writer in the last none months, I wonder if, as an English teacher, you have noticed some consistent mistakes in my prose? Something I should work on, perhaps? I would appreciate your input! 4 hours ago, BethG said: Who did the artwork? It’s fantastic! Haha, thanks! I am afraid the credit belongs to an online AI art generator. It's quite fun to play with! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BethG Posted October 28, 2023 Report Share Posted October 28, 2023 4 hours ago, Yuliya said: Thank you! My husband will be very happy to hear that a character who I based on him has Kaladin vibes Also, I am writing my first novel right now (about 120k words in), and while I feel like I've grown a lot as a writer in the last none months, I wonder if, as an English teacher, you have noticed some consistent mistakes in my prose? Something I should work on, perhaps? I would appreciate your input! Haha, thanks! I am afraid the credit belongs to an online AI art generator. It's quite fun to play with! LOL! My husband could have been Brandon’s model for Kaladin in every way, so we are blessed ladies! I am very happy to hear you are writing your novel!!! I will need to read it! I have no criticisms of your writing. You had all the ingredients (noting that you used Brandon’s world building but you have the skill to do that, too): good character development, good plotting, good suspense, knowledge (research or something you already knew) for science/logic, and what I call “movement”. You kept the characters “moving”. For example, one of my favorite chapters from SA is Kaladin and Bridge 4 learning to ride horses. It wasn’t REALLY about learning to ride as Brandon used it for “movement” for exposition instead of having the characters sitting around talking. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little_Dagger Posted October 28, 2023 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2023 3 hours ago, BethG said: LOL! My husband could have been Brandon’s model for Kaladin in every way, so we are blessed ladies! I am very happy to hear you are writing your novel!!! I will need to read it! I have no criticisms of your writing. You had all the ingredients (noting that you used Brandon’s world building but you have the skill to do that, too): good character development, good plotting, good suspense, knowledge (research or something you already knew) for science/logic, and what I call “movement”. You kept the characters “moving”. For example, one of my favorite chapters from SA is Kaladin and Bridge 4 learning to ride horses. It wasn’t REALLY about learning to ride as Brandon used it for “movement” for exposition instead of having the characters sitting around talking. Haha, yes, we are lucky I will let you know when I am looking for alpha readers of my novel (I still have a lot of work to do to tie things up) but I would truly appreciate your input. Again, thanks for the feedback! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldbackpac Posted December 28, 2023 Report Share Posted December 28, 2023 Hey, did you ever write a sequel? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little_Dagger Posted December 30, 2023 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2023 On 12/29/2023 at 3:40 AM, Oldbackpac said: Hey, did you ever write a sequel? No, I didn’t, but thanks for asking! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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