Step, step, step. Pace, pace, pace. The voices bubble around me as I walked into the gates. Sounds of laughter, crying, happiness, sadness and everything in between filled the air as I walk in. Hello Treble. The teacher says, how are you? How are you, how are you, how are you. The question paralyses me. What would a normal person say? Fine. I’m fine. I mumble. I’ve done it. Spoken to someone in probably months. The teacher smiles and guides me over to another kid. We can put you in the advanced group. Half of the others can’t even form coherent sentences yet. The girl in front of me looks up from her hands and looks at me. Her yellow sunflower dress swishes as she turns around. Quinn, this is Treble. She will be your learning buddy. You should get to know each other. The teacher turns around and it’s suddenly just me and her. Me and her, me and her. I don’t say anything, and she doesn’t say anything back. I look at her. She looks back. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, until the teacher comes back and takes us out of this infinite loop. 

_+_ 

This is Treble. She will be your learning buddy. You should get to know each other. Words come out of the teacher’s mouth, ones that I comprehend all too well. The child prodigy, able to speak complete sentences at only 12 months, perfectly bilingual at 2 and able to do grade 3 maths at preschool. Polite. Selfless. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Everything a parent could want. Now, looking at this other girl, all I see is competition. Another contender for top spot, best. No, that’s not what right. That’s what they want me to think. I want to say something, but the words don’t find me like they usually do. Eventually, the teacher comes, and I can finally breathe again. 

_+_ 

Who am I? The assignment scares me. It’s been three years of primary school; I should know by now. I am a burden, I write. No, that’s not right, they’ll know. They’ll know, they’ll know. Quinn. The name suddenly pops up into my head. She’s smart, she’ll know what to do. I tentatively look up from my paper and see her on the other side of the room, sitting alone, as always. I never talked to her that first day, or the next, or the next. We never really talked outside of school, and only for projects at that. While everyone else was making friends, I was making regrets. Why didn’t I talk to this person that time, why didn’t I take up that kid’s offer to sit together for lunch? Regret, regret, regret. Well, the present is the perfect time to start fixing them. So I walk over, paper and pencil in hand, and ask. Um, hello. You’re really smart. Can you help me with my assignment? Quinn looks at me, not speaking not moving. Yes. The answer surprises me, and I quickly sit down beside her. What do you need help with? I talked to someone. I Talked to Someone. I TALKED to someone! Suddenly, my all problems seemed to disappear.  

_+_ 

You’re really smart. Can you help me with my assignment? Pain floods my chest. Of course, she, and everybody else, sees me as just a smart person, nothing more. I bet she doesn’t even know my name. But I should I help her? Yes. The response surprises even myself. What do you need help with? Treble looks shocked, what did I do wrong? A deep gut-wrenching feeling feels my body. Fear. But not a second later, she smiles and holds out the sheet. Um, everything please! I laugh. She laughs. We both laugh. 

_+_ 

The fingerboard of the violin feels heavy in my hands, like the secret I have been keeping from Quinn. No one else knows, and she’s my closest friend too. So she should be the first to know, right? So she can help, right? Quinn? Silence. Yes? Deep breath. Something... Something happened... Tears, one by one. Drip, drip, drip. What? A gentle question through the emotion. Bass... he... he’s... not waking up... He usually does by now... but... he hasn’t... I-I... I... Please, help me. Please, find a solution to this impossible situation. 

_+_ 

Bass... he... he’s... not waking up... He usually does by now... but... he hasn’t... I-I... I... Another request. Another solution needed. Another impossible request. All I can do is spin more false promises and hope for the best. Like always. Like always. Like always. Who does she think I am? Some sort of miracle worker that can make everything better? Another untruth. Another reality of another timeline. White lies never hurt anyone, right? 

_+_ 

I’m sorry to say this, but his heart monitor flatlined this morning. There was nothing much we could do. We offer our condolences. These words... can’t be real. I know my comprehension has dropped along the years, but these words should make sense. No. There must be a mistake. They must have the wrong person... It doesn’t make sense... It just... doesn’t... Phone out. Contact called. Yes? Treble? You alright? No, no, no. Something is wrong. Really wrong. And I can’t do anything about it. And again, I find myself struggling to accept this reality. 

_+_ 

Something is wrong. Really wrong. And I can’t do anything about it. Well, what do you want me to do? Crack. Make it better somehow? Crack. I’m really sorry for that- PLEASE. PLEASE. You HAVE to have a solution... please... Crack. But... I don’t... know... what to do about that... Breath. In. Out. please... Sigh. I can’t take this anymore. Just try to get some rest; I know this must be hard on you. You’ll feel better after that, and we can talk later. Yeah... End call. Crack. I’m tired... Crack. of being there for people... Crack. Who only want me for one thing. Shatter. A thousand pieces, all around the floor. You can try to pick them up again, but the shards stab, almost like they don’t want to be put back together. 

_=_ 

“This Sunday, there has been a report of a missing girl, Quinn Vel, around 16 years of age. She was last seen at around 10am at the Riverbrook Public Library. For possible sightings or location, please contact xxx....” 

“So, this is who you were before coming here?” 

“Yes, I suppose it was.” 

“And how was it back there?” 

“I’d rather not talk about it, look to the future, as they say.” 

“And how does your future look?” 

“Brighter.”