The various color associations I have. Just for reference and stuff (and if you wanna know more about any of my TLT characters or anything)
Blue: connection
Red: pain
Black: failure
Purple: mischief (can be a hint of evil)
Green: pride
Gold: Innocence, youth
White: potential & possibility
Brown: trust
Orange: ferocity, passion
Pink: love, reverence
Hazel: change
1 cause there'll probably be additions to this that I've forgotten rn
The Mindscape is a creation of, and based on, my own brain, which means it tend to make little sense to others; hence this blog.
Key to the Mindscape is that it is full of contradictions that aren't contradictions; it is a separate realm with separate rules and physics, and thus what would normally be contradictions can exist simultaneously there. For example, distance. There is simultaneously no distance in the Mind
There is a specific kind of stuck that happens when you’re a trans girl in nerdy spaces. You spend years as a lurker—not just on the 17th Shard forums or Discord, but in your own life. You watch the main characters from the sidelines, hiding behind an avatar and a username that feels like a suit of armor you forgot how to take off. As we stare down 2026, I’ve decided that the Lurker Era is officially over. Transitioning isn't just about the medical milestones (though those are great); it’s about
Suits
classically for men
look really good on women and enbies
i hate wearing them
but it’s better than jeans and a tshirt
so I wear it in black to show my disdain
Dresses
classically for women
look very good on men and enbies
I love wearing them
but I have one
so I wear it alone in my room for no one to see
these two parallels, two opposite garments, two opposing opinions
The one scenario where I must wear this suit
Th
Aaand that's the end of the catching-up. Here are two poems I wrote today. Hope you enjoy :3 And if not...that's okay too :3 Sometimes poetry can be boring...at least in my experience.
So Much;Too Little
So much I want to accomplish—try—explore.
So many ideas—thoughts—unborn creations.
So much time—or so they say.
So little time—is what I feel.
I have obligations—of higher priority.
I have free time—but no motivation.
I have countless ideas—u
Repetition
I sit here in this stifling place.
While you drone on, you drone.
What you say is meaningless, though.
You simply repeat what we already read.
Why did I read it, if you're gonna say it?
Sure, you add some.
But you know what I think?
You.
Are.
Talking.
To.
Yourself.
I raise my hand—you ignore it.
A moment later—you steal my thoughts.
You just want to hear your own voice.
You just want to act like you
Challenge
A challenge this is not.
I sit here—you waste my time.
The things you say—I already know.
Yet still I fear—succumbing to overconfidence.
Yet still I believe—one day you’ll say,
Something new—something I need.
Something not eye-glazing.
Instead I write this—sitting here.
While you chatter along—and I can’t help but listen.
I divide my attention—half-wasted.
I’m surrounded by fools—or maybe they’re just more expressive of thei
I'm posting a few days where I wrote poems but was too busy to collect and post them here.
Homo-Gene-Ity
It’s funny how you have thoughts
You think are unique
And then slowly realize
Nothing you could possibly imagine or ponder has not been imagined or pondered by humans past.
Sometimes it’s nice to hear
That others worry dream or think as you do
But sometimes it makes you feel
Like there’s nothing you can do that hasn’t been done.
The lobby of the library is a quiet, neutral territory, and it is the only place I feel like I could stop pretending. I sit in one of the high-backed chairs, hidden behind the ‘Arthur’ version of myself like it was a heavy winter coat I wasn't allowed to take off. I watch people come and go through the glass doors, but my eyes always drifted toward the girls my age—the way they tucked their hair behind their ears or the specific, effortless way they took up space.
Every time I see th
Hi everyone! It's that time of the week again! I'm @Akimikoisthecutest for those who don't know me, and I started this blog to talk about some of the troubles of being trans.
This week we're talking about who I really am, versus how I act around others
My presentation isn't a choice; it's a shield. When I walk out the door, I often feel like I’m stepping onto a stage. There’s a specific way I’m supposed to walk, a certain pitch to my voice, and a way I have to react to things to keep p
ok so im like unarately tird but i hav lke 3 more poem ideas so ill maybe makef them tormorw
this one i mostly wrote when i was suposde to be reading somhign bornng (whcih i read eventualy)
“Laws” and “Truths”
I once followed them—with all their “rationality.”
Now—eyes open—I see the truth.
No, not the “truth” offered up by the reskinned clones—or shall I say the take-your-picks.
The truth—as I know it to be.
The truth—product of millenia.
The truth
What is Art?
Art is something from which you can derive meaning.
Did someone paint the cloud to look like dragon?
Does it look like a dragon?
No, we ascribe meaning to the cloud.
It looks like a cloud.
But we say it looks like a dragon.
And it gains meaning
Because we gave it meaning.
That is half of art.
Art is what you give meaning too.
But,
Art is a reflection of a soul.
Art is what those with a soul create.
Art has no mean
Hope y'al;l ike, this cost me sleep
Scream
I want to scream—but can’t
I’ve lost my voice.
I can’t speak—rather, don’t.
I’ve lost myself.
I wish to shout—but croak.
Feeble attempts—ignored.
I yearn to speak—free of these plaguing artifacts.
Instead—this.
This—hell.
This—forcing me to silence.
This—social nightmare.
This—“me.”
I don’t want this—never did.
I want that—what they all have, what you
Feelings, feelings, where did they go?
I want to feel, to care, to love
an absence
my laughter false, I wish to feel
Death, Death, a heavy weight
but no tears
I can’t Quite breath when I think about him
but no tears
a heavy weight on my chest,
but no tears
I hear my sister sobbing
songing the praises of crying
I sit in my room, heavy
but no tears.
- - -
“I had friend once”
I burst into tears
”This story hasn't e
yEahhh. PrEtty much all of thE following wErE inspirEd by Ado (thE singEr), or J-Pop in gEnEral. MUSICCCC;
HopEfully "UssEEwa" isn't too...you know. Also UssEEwa is the title of an Ado song, btw.
DANCE
Happy am I for once.
I want to dance—move.
I bob to the beat—that wonderful beat.
I feel better than I have in days—weeks—months—years?
I am in one of those rare moments of light—moments less-rare?
How do I express this? Release this? Do I cont
Yeah....so I didn't write for like two days, sorry 'bout that. I was kinda busy...but also didn't feel like writing and forgot, I guess. Didn't feel like writing today, either, but decided to write this after all. Yurp...
Artificial;Stupidity—Manufactured;Sickness
I see the text wall—
And am impressed;
I begin reading—
Wow—I think;
It doesn’t take long—however—
For that to shift;
The more I read—
The sicker I get;
It grows difficult
Hi there! It's @Akimikoisthecutest again! It’s time for week 2!
This week we're going to be talking about the things I learned as a boy, and am now discarding as I move on in my life! Coming to terms with being a trans girl isn't just about finding the right clothes or a new name; it’s about deconstructing years of "training" that told me how a person is supposed to exist in the world. For many of us, growing up was like being handed a script for a play we never auditioned for. Now, I’m fin
.thumb.jpeg.31e4805264b3c4c614c3b98c335afb7b.jpeg)
