Heir of the Void

The problem is, I want muzzle-loading weapons (the emberverse bans all firearms), so black powder will sneak under the energy density limit. As for your opinion on manufacturing, you are correct, though making a rifle adds at least one extra step to the production process, and increases cost and manufacturing complexity accordingly. As for Minie balls, I guess there's no reason not to not use them. The problem is, none of that limits pump-action or bolt-action weapons, though I think I might need a gun guru to help me out there. Any thoughts on the magic? I'm trying to think of a way not to just rip Codex Alera.

So, I'm starting on prep work for a story for NaNoWriMo. I want to go with something post-apolyptic, where a Mysterious Magical ForceTM abruptly stops modern technology from working. After this event, I want to limit the setting to, at the very most, muzzle-loading rifles with Minie Balls, though limiting them to muskets or something would be OK. What I need help with is deciding a way that the Mysterious Magical ForceTM interacts with the world to make automatic weapons, bolt action weapons, and pump action weapons impossible or impractical. Any ideas? I'm also desigin the magic system for this world, which only comes into effect after the Mysterious Magical ForceTM starts jamming modern technolgy, I'm currently thinking about an Elemental system that would look a lot like Furycrafting from Codex Alera, minus the furies themselves (the power either comes from the magic user, or the magic user manuplates the Mysterious Magical ForceTM around them). Does anyone have any ideas for elemental powers beyond those described in the link, or something. Thanks in advance.

If anyone wants to see more of this, give me a shout.

Yes, but after book 2, nothing else would come to me. I know it isn't a direct parallel, but...

This is... something... that I came up with. Its inspired by the Wheel of Time ISAM summaries. I'm sorry. PART ZERO: FROM SHINOVAR WITH LOVE Szeth: I don’t want to kill the king, but I must. Because Rock. Dalinar: I’m drunk. *Faints* Jasnah: I’m doing NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE Szeth: Gavilar! Why won't you kill me?!? (SZETH mostly kills GAVILAR) Gavilar: You must tell my brother he must get what he cannot have. (GAVILAR holds out PLOT DEVICE) Gavilar: Its dangerous to go alone. Take this PART ONE: ALETHI HISTORY X Cenn: I’m gonna die, aren’t I? Dallet: Friggin n00bs. Kaladin: I’m a squadleader! (A SHARDBEARER attacks. The KALADIN’S SQUAD is WIPED OUT.) FOUR MONTHS LATER Shallan: I’m on a boat! FIVE MONTHS LATER Kaladin: I’m a slave. Life sucks. Syl: Hello Kaladin (Looks away). D..don’t get the wrong idea. I...it’s not like I want to make you a Surgebinder or anything. Kaladin: How do you know my name? Syl: How do you know your name, bakka! Meanwhile, SOMEWHERE ELSE Shallan: I’m a young noblewoman from a quaint farming village. Jasnah: What do you want? I’m very busy. The narwhal bacons at midnight. Shallan: BLAM! EXTRA HERESY!- I mean, I want to be your ward. Yeah. Jasnah: Then jump off that cliff. Scientifically. (SHALLAN jumps off CLIFF. She survives SOMEHOW) Jasnah: You think you’re qualified to be my ward? Why is that? Shallan: I’m naive and inexperienced, have no formal training, and my house is in ruins. Jasnah: And you want to become my apprentice as an opportunity to gain the fiscal stability needed to gain the capital loan to open your own restaurant in order to raise the revenue to save your family. Shallan: Wait... what? Umm... yes. That’s it exactly. Jasnah: Shut up and take my money. Meanwhile, at the SHATTERED PLAINS Kaladin: Please let me fight again. Assignment Woman: You want to fight? Fight has five letters, which is one fewer than sphere! And one sphere is what a slave makes in a day! You want to steal our spheres! Send him to bridge four! (An AIR RAID SIREN sounds) Gaz: Time for a bridge run. Get in line, lordling! (HOURS PASS while KALADIN and BRIDGE FOUR carry the bridge) Kaladin: I can’t wait till we get there. Parshendi: (singing) Oh I just can’t wait to be king~ Gaz: We’re here. Cross and reverse, then charge the chasm! Parshendi: Dakka dakka. (The BRIDGEMENT CHARGE. It SUCKS, and MOST of them DIE, except KALADIN, who FAINTS) Syl: Wake up, Kaladin! You’re going to be late for the bridge run! Kaladin: Ugg... Syl: Not that I came all the way out here f-f-for you or anything! I just happened to be passing by. 3 σx= 1 WEEKS LATER (KALADIN is on a FABRIAL-TRAIN, clutching his FABRIAL-SDAT) Kaladin: Everyone else is dead. My life sucks. NINE YEARS AGO Kaladin’s Dad: This girl made one rude gesture too many, so we’re taking her finger. Kaladin: Is that even legal? Kaladin’s Dad: I’m a back-alley surgeon. What do I care? PRESENT DAY (KALADIN walks to a CLIFF to consider COMMITTING SUICIDE) Syl: I-I made one Blackbane leaf too many, and I was w-wondering if you wanted it. N-not that I made it just for you or anything. (KALADIN slowly grasps the leaf while EMOTIONAL MUSIC plays) Kaladin: I- (KALADIN turns away from the CHASM, which EXPLODES behind him. DRAMATIC MUSIC plays) Kaladin: TODAY, I’M CANCELING THE BRIDGEPOCALYPSE!

I've updated the interogation scene, but it definatly needs some work. Please advise.

Its establlished that any form of investiture provides magic resistance, i.e. a mistborn would have trouble pushing on a shardblade. Anyone holding stormlight, or maybe even bonded to a spren, would likely be resistant, if not immune.

Yes, plus instant-death attacks in the hands of a protagonist willing to use them can pretty much break a narrative, so there's probably a lot there we don't see. In D&D terms, it would probably be Will save to negate, at the very least. Plus, it has been stated that any investiture interferes with the use of magic on the invested object. All humans have innate investiture, and Radiants have lots, and thus would be difficult to soulcast because they're main characters. Likewise, voidbringers have most likely bonded an Odiumspren, and thus have some investiture that would protect them from being soulcast directly.

So, my theory goes something like this. The Everstorm is said to distribue Odiumspren, and it has been established that the Greatshells bond with spren. Therefore, when the Everstorm comes around again, it will forcefully bond odiumspren to creatures such as Chasmfiends, creating the creatures that resembled Chasmfieds that were seen fighting alongside the Voidbringers. Heck, maybe the possessed greatshells are voidbringers, and the Stormform Parshendi are just the harbingers of the Everstorm and their infantry escorts. If any of this is true, possessed Greatshells (and thunderclasts) are probably what Shardblades are/were made to fight.

I added another thousand words or so to chapter two. The interogation was suposed to be mildly creepy, to establish something of a 'dark side' to Risim. Also, Eanalit is a girl. I'm trying to decide when and how to drop that.

Hey guys (Swiningly). I know your busy with Words of Radiance, but when your done wringing every bit of sense out of the book, I need some help. I'm trying to write an interrrogation scene for the prisoner Tavaril inadvertantly captured, but its not comming out. I need to think of what they would potentially ask the prisoner, and general advice.

I know. Sill, i worried I'm not generating enough content.

I'm just worried about the wordcount, is all. Most of Brandon's books, which are the sort of thing I'm trying to immatate, are over 200k words, and I'm olny at 5k, and the words don't seem to be comming as eaisly as with some other things.

So, any ideas for powers?

Anyway, here is the first 750ish words of chapter 2 https://docs.google.com/document/d/16YDx-wYKN7UAcTEUQeQng-tLfSPPO5ZUYqMoAgjSVaQ/edit

Scope? Similar to Warbreaker or Elantris, or maybe Mistborn if I start feeling ambitious, or improve substantially, I suppose. Not particularly dark. I'm intending some romantic elements, but not as a major focus, as I'm even worse at writing those than I am at what I have so far. My intention for the overarching plot is that basically, the Hero that saved the world five hundred years ago actually didn't, and sold out to the Dark One (Who needs some fleshing out, by idea right now is basically an insane omnicidal spider). Now, the Crown Archons of Halkarion discover that the King of one of their tightest allies is actually the now-imortal traitor-hero, and is planning to betray mankind. Needing Allies to oppose him, they travel to Fantasy Counterpart Switzerland/Japan in the hopes of courting them as allies. As for foreshadowing, I figure I'll do that once I know where this train wreck story is going during the Massive Inevitable Rewrites.

Fixed. So my question here is this: where do you want to see this story go? I have a pretty clear idea of what I want to happen, but no clear idea how to move from here to the next point in what I have planned out.

I added another 1000 words to chaper one, which I thing rounds it off. If there is any intrest, I'll post chapter 2. Also, I need help brainstroming powers granted to to a Perfecter by Perfecting a Focus object.

"He thinks you're a god. You shouldn't encourage him." Teft said. "Why not? I am a god." Kaladin cackled, "Or I will be soon enough! Leyten, is everything in position?" "Yes, sir, the device is operating properly." "Good. The highstorm approaches, and soon, I'll show them! I'll show them all!" "How could you do this, Kaladin?" Jasneth gasped, bursting into the Inner Scantum of Bridge Four. "I thought you loved me!" "We should have seen." Dalinar said. "His first love was always honor." "The Highstorm is in position!" Sigzil shouted. "Good! Rock, Raise the lighting rod!" "This thing, I will do for you." The Horneater said, cranking the massive, emerald-tipped conductor into position. Then the heart of the highstorm passed overhead, and a single bolt of lightning lanced downwards, splitting the heavens as all the Stormlight of the tempest was drawn down out of the sky. "Kaladin?" Syl said, prying herself off of the cold metal slab. "What happened.”? "HAHAHAH! I HAVE CREACTED LIFE!" As you can see, a lot happened in today's preview from Tor, and a lot of it is pretty weird.

Yes, with practice, a Perfecter using their abilities on themselves can use the trance-state to do a lot of things at least somewhat better. I think what I will do is that each Perfecter has a specific innate 'reserve' of 'perfection', which is sufficient for most basic usages. However, when under extreme circumstances, such as when fighting other another Perfecter, 'detail' for lack of a better term, begins to be leached out of the surrounding area. Of course, with artificially created Perfecters, all that goes out the window, and even basic Perfections drain the surrounding area. With a cell made to hold a Perfecter, it is made as simple as possible to provide fewer sources of Perfection, and to give a creative Perfecter fewer things to use as potential tools to assist in a breakout. Thanks for the ideas!

That's a pretty good idea. I think that might consider using that. What I am having a pretty serious block on right now is where I want the plot to go. Anyone have ideas for things they like to see in stories? Sometimes the oddest things can spark a good idea. Thanks

Well, what I'm really trying to decide where I want the story to go .

Thanks for reading. You made some very helpful comments. What made you think that was the whole chapter? I added a few hundred words to the story and started the next part. Which writing excuses is that rule from? Also, I need some more help with brainstorming. I want to come up with what it feels like for one Perfecter to sense another using their powers, and I'm trying to think of a plausible way for Tavaril to capture one of the Renalith raiders. Plus, suggestions for more characters are helpful. I want to round out the party of Crown Archons, but I need a few ideas for more people. Fantasies like this always need lots of characters, and that's not something I'm particularly good with.

This is what I have so far. Basiclly, the main character wakes up, finds that his village is being raided by Parshendi Knockoffs monsters, kills one, and discovers that he's a Perfecter. This is just a rough first draft, so I'm well aware it probably is complete crap needs some work, but I would greatly like sugestions, comments, and ideas for where you guys think the Plot should go. (Like to my google doc, commenting enabled.) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hh4ct2e27-4wI3zv4kJAgai7nF9QtDXJiLz3Xa0O7iA/edit