I agree that Amaram was a suitor or proposed suitor for Jasnah and nothing more from the Jasnah POV. However her reaction to the idea of being something more with him may lend credence to the belief that she is gay. Saying that there could be nothing more between them, indicates that she finds something about herself or him that are incompatable. If its something about herself, I propose that could mean she is gay.
Also, do we know that the person she cared for deeply who tried to convince her of vorinism was an ardent?
I feel like Jasnah came by her athiesm the "honest" way. I feel like she logically arrived at her conclusion of athiesm rather than out of distaste for religion which she then later justified with logic.
Growing up, some of her teachers could have been ardents or devout vorinists. Perhaps a father/mother like figure was among them that could account for the "he" who she cared about. I think it unlikely that this person betrayed her trust(based on her seemingly fond memories..."care"), but the loss of such a person could have been devestating to her.