Rynturning_Light

Fork in a biohazard bag

I’m not (fully) dead b-t-dubs

Ya girl just got what looked like a small piece of a metal wire stuck in her foot

yes, I need to vacuum

Why do you ask?

Being home alone is great

I can walk into the house on the verge of tears and fully not masking my depression and no one calls me on it

Big things were happening in biology today

Ya girl brought her switch to school to play Tomodachi Life in class 'cause I have literally nothing going on

Yes, I know it's stupid

No, I will not apologize for it

Bro, yearbooks got given out recently and now everyone has them for people to sign

I am surrounding by the choking smell of fresh paper. My lack of sleep and, by proxy, sensory issues cannot handle this

I was just struck with the realization that my school year end in like 20 days

That's crazy. How is that possible?

GUYS

MY PSYCH GRADE IS GONNA BE OKAY

HOLY HELL THAT TOOK A WHILE

I might cry, out of relief, happiness, and exhaustion

I start finals testing today (cry)

I'll be stuck in my bio room for my first math test, which is horribly ironic considering how godawful my bio teacher/class is

Anyway, wish me luck. I be very tired and I burned my brain out doing 3.5 hours of straight homework last night. hehe, oops

My brothers graduating with his psych degree soon (yippee) and I always forget that he has like, an understanding of mental health and that he's on track to become a therapist, especially considering his extremely aggressive way of showing love

Anyway

This morning, I called myself an idiot (with slightly more aggressive and self-hating language) and my brother, who was making breakfast in the kitchen right behind me, whipped around and scolded me with "don't talk about yourself like that, ever."

...it's been a long morning

Absolutely loving my new habit of daily journalling

I get to watch myself/my mental state fall apart in real time

Great news everyone!

I've developed a caffeine addiction

And I wasn't able to consume caffeine this morning

Anxiety is so fun. You'll just be sitting here and then your heart will do the funny twisty thing and then you get a sharp pain and then you get a big dose of adrenaline and then you can't sit still anymore

...I think my body is trying to keep me alive because my blood sugar is crashing

:3

I envy the sky for her artistry, but I must live begrudgingly in the knowledge that my creative endeavors will never challenge her grandeur

...mornin y'all. The sky was very pretty this morning

My friend lost his headphones, and he was looking around the library (where me and other friends were eating) and he was looking desperately and all

The people I was eating with asked what was happening and I knew because I had went up and talked to him

So, gremlin running around behind us and I just go "that's my best friend"

I have great taste in company

General totally awesome announcement: I hath returned

The creative and foolish part of my brain has been rejuvenated, and so I make my grand reentrance

So...hi

Hey all. Wanted to come on and give a quick update. I know I’ve had some people interested with some of my creative projects, and no matter what my brain says some are probably noticing my less active presence

Full transparency, I’m not doing great right now. I’m stuck in an anxiety induced depressive spiral and I’m struggling to get out of it. I’ve come to realize that this has been going on for a while. On top of that, some mental dam broke last night, and I don’t know how to fix it. I know it’s been one day since that, but things don’t feel like they’re getting much better.

But yeah, I’m tired mostly. Didn’t mean to vanish on everyone. If you missed me, I’m sorry.

For anyone following any creative projects, I’m putting them on hiatus. I don’t have the mental bandwidth to actual do good creative work, and in all honesty, it feels like a chore right now

So, good night lovelies. I don’t know how long this’ll last, but I’ll see y'all on some tomorrow

Whoever invented cornbread stuffing has my soul

it’s so good

As weird as this sounds, i kinda forgot what it was like to be freshly creative

Like, I've been locked into developing one of my worlds for so long that new ones didn't even occur to me

Now I'm locked into developing a new magic system that I really really like and wish I started on earlier lol

Back in the stereotypical writer state of being where I've got a really cool opening/transition line but it needs a book to make sense

(In relation to previous post about book concept/idea)

I had the writing thought of a book written in one character pov, but that “main character” dies towards the end

The thing is, their final chapter ends before/as the readers see their death and instead the chapter pov switches to one of the “supporting characters” that were close to the main. The reader would have to discover the main’s death with the other characters

I want to write this, but it kinda requires a whole book to work properly lol

Closing lines of the Haunting of Hill House, my beloved

I need to read the book in full

(horror media discussion has gotten it back on my brain)

Why is our school orchestra playing a like epic soundtrack outside my classroom

What is happening

My friend brought back one of our shared, forgotten on my part, vocal stims this morning

I can't forget it know

I'm mad at him