JDharmawan

Seems a lot of fun! Wish I could play with yall HAHA! As of this moment my friend group is just really curious about beating Lord Ruler so we didn't really want to go PVP. We haven't cracked Lord Ruler yet :')

You managed to beat Lord Ruler in an attempt? That's a really amazing feat! I've played the co-op mode with 3 / 4 people for many times now and I have never beat him ONCE. There are some moments where I was only 1 round away from winning, but always fell short. It really felt like that scene Kelsier fought Lord Ruler in Book 1. At least it's yay in the thematic department.

In a way I'm quite glad that Ethan finally gets to take a break after everything he had been through. Hahaha. Which one is your favorite entry? And favorite moment too!

Anyone watched the latest movie to the series? I’m a huge fan of the MI movies and was a little sad that they said it might be the last one Still remember fondly that the first I watched on the big screen was Ghost Protocol and that started everything for me.

Wouldn’t it be cool if like you when you play a Mistborn card, it will create a list of metal tokens (something like Aetherdrift’s Start Your Engines) which you can ‘burn’ and those tokens will only restore through other cards that contains said metal? For Elantris, gotta have some kind of a Graveyard mechanic haha. I think it’ll be cool for the our zombie overlords (Elantrians).

You gotta get a friend to introduce you into MTG. It's not the kind of game where you can sit down and read its rulebook to 'get'. So it isn't exactly 'conventional' in that sense. I would suggest going to Pre-Release events at your local game stores. It will ease you into the game. And yes try the Mistborn Deckbuilding Game! Not recommending it just because I'm a fan of Brandon but me and the folks in the board game design scene were really impressed on how well John D. Clair (the designer) put the game together. And I've got more recommendation for you... Mercurial is an interesting game in a sense that it doesn't use words to explain the cards, and playing it comes with the experience of learning a new language. Really cool! I also recently played this game called Pax Pamir, and gosh... that game is extraordinary. Last but not least, if you like Pokemon and Deckbuilding game, try out The Vale of Eternity. This one will be on the lighter side though.

I have just finished the entire Witcher series by Andrzej Sapkowski. I think CDPR's games raised the bar a lot for me, and I was kind of disappointed about the books especially with how it ends. Hmmm yea hot take kind of, I prefer the games... Anyway, right now I'm reading Indie Author's books. It's titled The Lastest of Words by Louigi Verona. Afterwards in my list will be the latest ACOTAR. I haven't continued the series after finishing the trilogy, I figured it's time to read Book 4.

I've got a few favourites! Undertale Doki Doki Literature Club Inscryption Life is Strange (Indie Devs but AAA publisher so not sure if it counts) To The Moon Coffee Talk 1 & 2 A Space for the Unbound (this is a must try!)

Yep that works too!

Gosh that's a really long list! Share some? Maybe I'll check some out!

Hey Ben I’m giving you a long feedback. I know it takes a lot of bravery to put your work up here. My comments may sound harsh but please don’t take it as insults. I genuinely find your world very intriguing and I would love to know more. But there is a lot of things that you can change to make your writing better. I really hope that my comments help you. Please don’t stop writing, you can only get better! Overall Read Comments: I think the excerpt is missing the point of being a prologue. What does a prologue mean to me? 2 things: 1. briefly introduce me about the theme of the book (is the world gonna be gritty or lighthearted?) 2. Make me want to turn to chapter one. Right now it reads a lot like an encyclopedia or a “World Guide to Eteran”. I don’t think this is what you should do, because you’ll scare readers away with this much information dump. In fact, wouldn’t it be amazing if you use these amazing worldbuilding you have and make a cool scene out of it as you write your chapters? There’s no need to tell us every world facts in the prologue. Use your story to show it. Nitpicks + Specific Stuffs: First sentence could be much more impactful! Try: “Lord Skiinn watched <insert Vatti’s denonym here> beat each other and run off or steal things.” And keep the paragraph to just one sentence. It’ll have much more impact! Think “Ash fell from the sky.” Para 3: Watch out for pronouns. Can get confusing if you’re referring to the thief or Lord Skiinn. Para 5: “If he saw the same thief…” <- be careful with this sentence. It sounds contradictory to your previous characterisation. Why would he bother to kill the thief if he sees him again if he’s cruel enough to be dispassionate to his own daughter? I noticed you like to use the word ‘dark’ a lot. It’s a little too abstract. I used the word a lot too when I first start writing, and I got criticised for it . Try to reduce ‘dark’ and actually describe how it is? What kind of feeling does it evoke? Is it terrifying? Does it make you feel lonely? Helplessness? Also I think it’ll be cooler if you hide Emperor Shoel more. Mention the Families, Verania, the Forner and the Famorians later in the story. The less your reader know about your big bad guy, the more terrifying he’ll be. Think: Lord Ruler and Firelord Ozai. Let me know if you need more comments! Happy writing

Cool! I've got to go somewhere now, but I'll give it a read as soon as I can.

Have you ever tried Bloodborne: The Card Game or Gloomhaven? These two games made me a Board Game designer Speaking of Mistborn: the Deckbuilding Game, you have to play it once you get your hands on it. It's an amazing game.

Hey Ben The link is not public. Do we need to request access?

Hey Scars! Here's some feedback. My first impression will be: "You gotta break these up into paragraphs". It's really hard to follow without breaks. Because of the long paragraphs, it's very difficult to appreciate worldbuilding you put because I end up slurring through. (I'm not sure if this is how it's intended to be formatted or if there are paragraphs in your document). Anyway, it's just the first chapter, so I haven't really get the full picture of the story yet. But I am a little confused why you decide to put the first two paragraphs on the beginning. There is a big disjoint between the first two and the third, I was kind of expecting some kind of an action in a market street kind of scene, but it jumped to a scene of him shaving. So... you might want to consider re-arranging it into a story-related scene which shows / highlights his "unique set of skills" and "luck" But I would love to read the next chapter when it's ready! Though, I would appreciate it if you can break it into smaller paragraphs

Heyyy!! I've got a few favourites not written by Brandon. These are my top 3: A Song of Ice and Fire by GRRM, The Dark Tower by Stephen King, and Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo.

A lot of the things Raoden did and said resonates with me. Really love Elantris because of all the early Raoden chapters. I don't necessarily dislike the other characters, but for me, Raoden took the spotlight every time.

Pattern...

Yep Era 2 is in my list. But I kinda want to read Oathbringer and Warbreaker first before going into another Mistborn. The magic system question is tough to answer because I am not up to date with Stormlight, so I'm not sure if there's anything else in store on Roshar's magic system. For now, I don't think anything comes close to Mistborn's magic system. Mistborn's magic just blew my mind. It's multi-faceted and complex, yet it follows a set of rules that is easy to understand. Opens up so many rooms to play with. And dragons? Who doesn't like dragons?

I love Tin! Spook is one of my favourite characters.

Hi! I'm Joshua! I'm an aspiring author. I'm here because I really love Brandon's work (as author, educator and entrepreneur). Reading Excuses was my entry point into this site, but I'm geeking out now because I didn't expect an entire fansite worth of Brandon's goodness. I have read: Mistborn Era 1, The Way of Kings to Edgedancer for Stormlight and Elantris. I have a huge list still in queue. Glad to be here!