Kerberos

But this dissonance in itself seem obvious to me. No utilitarian is truly disinterested, not Christian truly loves their neighbour like themselves, no virtue ethicist is perfectly virtuous at all times. Show me a person who lives up to their own ethics 100% and I will show you a person with an extremely low ethical standard. The crisis requires a lack of self awareness I find implausible. The most plausible answer would be that she wasn’t fully aware of how large the disconnect was, but it just doesn’t seem that way to me. I don’t want to be to negative I did really like the book that particular resolution just failed to work for me.

To me this was a part of the book that did not work, because if Taravangian offered a lesson on utilitarianism that lesson was "objections to utilitarianism 101". The arguments made werey very basic. I don't think they're terrible arguments. They are probably some of the key reason I'm more likely to say that I have utilitarian sympathies rather than being a full on Utilitarian, but anyone remotely aware of counterarguments to utilitarianism should already have considered them. There is IMO just no way Jasnah is so lacking in self-awareness that she doesn't know she's not a utilitarian machine and that her actions are inhibited by lack of knowledge and tainted by her emotional attachments, but it seem the story want to tell me she is? I suppose it’s possible that her reaction is meant to be more to losing the debate that to the devastating force of the objection, but it did seem to me that she hadn’t considered this before.

To me it appears really clear that there is an apparent conflict between Valors purpose and how they're absent form the conflict. I see this as being Lampshaded in preparation for an eventual explanation. I don't think we have enough evidence to seriously speculate on an explanation but the obvious ones to me is that she's either dead/detained or she's doing "something" that requires her to be absent/hidden. I suppose it's also possible that "valor" means something different form what we think the same way "Honour" is rather more amoral than we'd expect, but I think that's less likely than the other possibilities.