I dont like being me sometimes. All my friends are in like AP Calc... I am in geometry and i wish i had brains to be proud of. Stuff just doesnt stick in my head. I actually recently was diagnosed with ADHD , anxiety, and depression. I spend hours every night getting all my homework done, and my younger, overachiever brother loves to rub it in my face. My older sister loves theatre, and I do too, but she is so much better than me. I just wish i had something to be proud of. Its like I spend all my time either working my but off to try and get a B, or sitting there and staring at a wall and just waiting for something to happen to me.
I used to be a member of a church, but stopped going after a talk I heard one week on LGBT... I was, of course, wearing dress pants rather than a skirt, ( I hate the way I look when I wear a dress) and got some rather pointed looks. I havent gone since, and my siblings and parents keep trying to shame me into going back. I know that there are good people there, it just doesnt feel right for me. I cant talk to anyone physical about it, because I will get the sympathy face. I hate the sympathy face. Even if I did have someone to talk to about it. I used to have a best friend. she listened to me, and talked to me about her problems. I even crushed on her a little bit. Then, she dated my sister. Yes, the theatre sister who is an amazing artist and everyone loves. All of a sudden, the only thing she would talk about was my sister. Then, a month later, she tells all my friends that I was loud and annoying and mean to her. Next thing I know, she dumps my sister, blames it on me because she cant stand being near me, and never talks to either of us again. Now my sister hates me, my friends mostly ignore me, and on top of that, my brother got an award this week for academic excellence, and they all went to get pastries that I cant eat because I just got my braces on. I just need someone to listen too. Praying my family never reads this one...
Wow, sorry. That just sort of came out.