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Just-A-Stick

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  1. Just-A-Stick
    Rex felt him stiffen beside her. Reach out... "No!" She said in her mind, "I'll get hurt again!" Do it anyway. He needs you. "Fine!" Rex walked through her mind, into the almost empty corner where her forgotten memories had previously been kept. There, hidden away in the very back, there was her magic. "What if it's been to long?" It hasn't been. Use it. Help him. "Fine." She picked it up and pressed it out. Rex felt the familiar ripple as her magic crept outward, entering Daniel's head and reading his thoughts. "Daniel." She whispered in his head. Her brow furrowed in concentration, eyes closed.
  2. Just-A-Stick
    Rex just looked away, not saying anything, not even looking at him. I'm sorry...
  3. Just-A-Stick
    Rex didn't answer him, and she didn't lean against him. She kept all her anger and pain and sadness coiled up inside. You can't let it out. just don't. your fine.
  4. Just-A-Stick
    "But... but this, this is my fault!" She didn't even try to stop her tears. "I should be fine. I should go on like we did, like everything is alright!" She seemed angry now. Mad at her tears, at her pain and hurt.
  5. Just-A-Stick
    "Sorry." She whispered.
  6. Just-A-Stick
    Say something... make it better... Rex was silent, staring at her lap. At her hand. At the bandage on it.
  7. Just-A-Stick
    Rex shrugged and wouldn't look at him.
  8. Just-A-Stick

    Someday

     

    Spoiler

    Someday

     
    You.
    You make me believe.
     
    You hold me and make me
    Believe
    In someday.
     
    I can’t thank you enough
    For that.
    I know that
    I’m a messy person.
    I’m everywhere at once.
     
    My emotions go
    Everywhere.
     
    My thoughts go everywhere.
     
    I just can’t stop them.
     
    But you help
    To hold me together.
    All my little pieces,
    That try to escape and
    Hurt me,
    You hold me together.
     
    I love you for it.
    I feel safe with you.
    I trust you.
     
    But
    Still I fear.
    I fear that
    Someday
    Will never happen.
     
    I fear that
    I will be left.
    I’m afraid.
    I’m afraid to be vulnerable,
    Even with you.
    I don’t want to get hurt
    Again.
     
    I don’t want to be
    Abandoned
    So I’m scared
    To love
    Scared to dream
    Scared to be free
    And let myself
    Love.
     
    I’m trying.
    I do love you,
    I do trust you,
    But I’m sorry
    If I’m not
    Like everyone
    Else.
     
    I’m trying
    But
    The trauma
    Just
    Won’t leave.
     
    And yet
    Here I am
    Believing
    In
    Someday.
     
    Look what you did!
    You got me
    To believe
    In something.
     
    You got me
    To love
    Someone.
     
    And I’m trying.
    I really
    Really
    Am.
     
    But
    It’s just hard
    Right now.
     
    If you want
    To leave,
    The doors open.
     
    But,
    Someday.
     
    ~ Stick 1-25-24
     
     
     
     

    ( @Part Of The Narrative, @Shardwatcher01)

    1. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      ❤️‍🩹❤️

    2. Part Of The Narrative

      Part Of The Narrative

      It's beautiful ❤️

    3. Weaver of Shadows

      Weaver of Shadows

      ❤️‍🩹

  9. Just-A-Stick
    A tear slipped down her cheek. "I know." At least I think I do...
  10. Just-A-Stick
    She nodded.
  11. Just-A-Stick
    "I don't know if I'll ever be ok..." She sniffed, leaning into his embrace. "I'm trying." So that you don't leave. She added in her head.
  12. Just-A-Stick

    Toxic

    Spoiler

    Toxic

     
    I have toxic
    People
    In my life.
     
    I’m close to them.
    I love them.
    I don’t want to
    Leave them.
    I said I would never leave.
    I said that I was there for them.
     
    But
    I can only get
    Hurt so many times
    Before my trust is broken.
    Before the trauma
    Overtakes me.
     
    I need to leave.
    But I don’t want them
    Hurt like I have been.
    I don’t want to
    Put anyone else
    Through that pain.
     
    I love them.
    I promised.
    I want to be there
    But it hurts
     
    It hurts mentally,
    Emotionally,
    Once or twice,
    Physically.
     
    But I can’t leave,
    Right?
    Would they leave
    If the roles were reversed?
     
    Do I
    Even care
    Enough to leave?
    I welcome the pain.
    It feels right.
    I just don’t care.
     
    I feel toxic.
    I am so messed up.
    I make others worry,
    I make them uncomfortable,
    Upset,
    Stressed,
     
    What if
    I’m the toxic one?
    If they feel trapped?
    If I just let them go…
    If I just left,
    If I rebuilt
    All the walls
    Around my heart.
     
    If I went back
    To being alone.
    It’s what’s best
    For everyone,
    Right?
     
    They don’t need
    The toxic friend.
    They are hurt.
    They wish they could escape.
    But they don’t want to hurt me.
     
    I can stand the pain.
     
    My heart may break,
    But I can hide it.
    My life may crash,
    But I can loose myself and
    Not exist.
     
    I can close myself off
    From everyone
    And everything.
    That’s what’s best.
    For everyone.
     
    They have other friends.
    Ones who aren’t
    Toxic.
     
    I am the
    Toxic
    Friend
    And I’m
    Sorry.
     
    ~ Stick 1-25-24
     
     
     
     
     

    ( @Part Of The Narrative, @Shardwatcher01)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Part Of The Narrative

      Part Of The Narrative

      Yeah…I been there. Just keep breathing ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

    3. Weaver of Shadows

      Weaver of Shadows

      *so many hugs*

    4. Just-A-Stick

      Just-A-Stick

      ❤️‍🩹

  13. Just-A-Stick
    She nodded and started breathing again, eyes closed, head down. "Sorry." She whispered.
  14. Just-A-Stick
    Rex thought about her breath, how easy it would be to just stop breathing... It would all go away... She unconsciously held her breath, not even realizing what she was doing.
  15. Just-A-Stick
    "I feel helpless." She whispered back, voice choked with emotion. She hid her face in his shoulder.
  16. Just-A-Stick
    Ash shook her head, face taking on a tiny bit of a blueish tint.
  17. Just-A-Stick
    Her eyelashes fluttered, but didn't open. she was still holding her breath.
  18. Just-A-Stick
  19. Just-A-Stick
    Ash was staring at the wall. she was hardly breathing. breathing felt like work. She shut her eyes. She held her breath. She pressed the pillow closer to her face. Ash didn't move.
  20. Just-A-Stick
    "Helpless." She whispered, wincing as the word stung.
  21. Just-A-Stick
  22. Just-A-Stick
    "I don't know? I just feel so..." She trailed off. You never wanted to feel like that in the first place. Now, it's happened again. Helpless. You're helpless and you can't do anything.
  23. Just-A-Stick
    "Do you want to say anything?" Rex asked him, brushing the back of his hand with her thumb.
  24. Just-A-Stick
    Rex nodded, scooting a little closer to Daniel.
  25. Just-A-Stick
    Rex nodded. "Where to start..." She looked at Daniel. "We... We both need to get some help, but aren't sure how...?"
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