Weaver of Shadows

I know I said I’m not making any more depressing SU’s, but if any of you knew me in person you’d know that I’m really bad at keeping this kind of commitment. And I need people to talk to, people that will understand and listen. So I’m here.

 Have any of you noticed how much energy it takes to be around people? I’ve learned how to make myself an extrovert, to be active around other people. I even enjoy it sometimes. But it’s so storming hard. I have to force myself to be someone else, someone that is boisterous and a jokester. I make myself into one of them and it takes so much energy. I leave feeling drained, and I begin to have those thoughts of unacceptance, of unimportance, of just being useless in general.

 Yep, had a band concert today. I had a blast, but now I’m so drained. And really it wasn’t me that had a blast, it was the person I force myself to become.