Nah, I don't consider pointing out typos to be particularly useful feedback, especially in earlier drafts.
I also don't think there is any issue with things not being explained. Nobody picks up a book and expects everything to be explained in chapter 1. There would be no point in reading the rest of the book then!
I actually think the opposite. There is a little bit too much information and I found that it hindered the flow of the chapter a bit and it took away from the things that are really important. Obviously, I've only read this one chapter, but it seems to me that there are 3 main points of interest in this chapter. Three things that it's important for the reader to take away.
1. This inn/bar/whatever it is is unusually crowded on this night for some reason.
2. There's something strange about the bard.
3. The fog is evil.
These to me are the things that stood out and that caught my interest. You start with "Another came in." This to me suggests that this is a somewhat unusual occurrence or something noteworthy. I think it's a good way to start, it grabs the attention and makes me wonder "Oh, why is this something noteworthy?". However, you then proceed to name 5 characters that do absolutely nothing the entire chapter and are (as far as I can tell) completely irrelevant (at least in this chapter). When I start a book and the first few sentences contain the names of 5 characters, I expect (and I think this is generally what most readers would expect) that those characters matter and I dedicate some amount of brain space to remembering their names and looking out for why they might be important. So generally, I would say it's a bad idea to introduce irrelevant characters by name so early on. I wouldn't even introduce more prominent side characters by name until they at least have some role to play in the story.
The next thing you do is have a really long paragraph in which you describe the layout of the room and why it's laid out like this. I know that this is information that is relevant to the story and even to what happens later in the chapter, but just having it in a big chunk of text really pulled me out of the story. And all the interest that the first sentence generated was lost by the time I was done reading it. It would be a lot more engaging if this information was presented in a way that actually kept the reader in the story and that also amplified that initial curiosity sparked by the beginning. One way you could do that would be to have the four newcomers maybe linger in the doorway a bit too long. Peter could get impatient with them and wave them in, maybe gesturing to shut the door to prevent the heat from going into the cold room. Then perhaps as he greets them or writes their name in the ledger or whatever, he could maybe make some remark to them about always leaving the inner door open or about how difficult it is to keep the entrance cold. Or maybe some banter about not letting them in next time or something, since these people know each other (as far as I can tell).
This would also just make them seem more like... people. More relatable. And that kind of ties in with my second piece of feedback. Which is that the characters don't really act very naturally. Like for example, when Bard comes in, peter immediately notices him and notices that there's something strange about him. But we don't see anyone else really react to him until the music bit. It would make sense for a bunch of people who all know each other to be curious about the arrival of a stranger. Especially of one who behaves in an unusual way (like sitting in the corner, which everyone clearly avoids). Having the room at large react to him, maybe some muttering going on, people craning their necks to see him or whatever, would make Peter's curiosity about him seem more natural and it would also build up anticipation.
Another example where Peter's behaviour just feels very unnatural and makes it feel contrived is when he runs out after the Bard and doesn't even notice he's run out of the clearing. First of all, he barely had any interaction with the Bard. It doesn't really make sense that he would risk his life to go after him. But even if let's say, Peter is just a very altruistic person and would do that, his father owns the inn. He's lived or at least worked there perhaps most of his life. It would take a lot more than a stranger running to make him forget how big his clearing is. Especially that from the text, it feels like there was barely any time between him leaving the inn and him ending up among the trees. It kind of feels like they ran 10 steps or something. It also doesn't seem to me like the natural choice that he should want to follow a stranger with unknown motives to an unknown destination instead of sitting in a tree that isn't far from home and where he knows he's safe for a few hours. It just doesn't seem like the way any sensible person would behave.
So yeah, to summarise all of this in two concise points that I think if you kept in mind, it would really improve the story.
1. Only deliver information that the reader needs to know and not too long before they need to know it and try to deliver it in a way that is engaging and that maybe showcases your characters' personalities a little.
2. Think about getting your characters to where you want them to be in ways that feel natural and believable that a real person would act in that way or do the things that they do.
Hope this was helpful
What are all the boys doing in here, spreading their boy cooties all over this thread!
