The Aspiring Archivist

"Currently I don't have anything such."

"Not particularly."

"It was something, certainly."

SA (no spoilers really):

"Why do you want to know?"

TAAron decided to be alone for a while. It was all too much. There had been a brief moment there, on Scadrial, when he thought things might be getting better. Then he'd almost let himself hope again once he saved her from the Inquisitors. She had been hurt somehow, badly, and there was a very real chance that he might never see Rue again. He hated to admit it, even to himself. He had wanted to protect her, help her, and now she was gone. His fault. Always, he brought these things on the people he cared about. He felt the faintest tug at his mind. He couldn't remember ever feeling it before, but he knew exactly what it was. A little ingrained bit of an long-dead mind, urging him to get rid of the pain. To forget again. It could be so easy. It was more effort to defy that little tug than to let it happen. A few times, he started to let it, but as he began to slip into peaceful oblivion, he pulled himself back away. As much as he wanted so badly to be rid of the loss, the idea terrified him. How many people would he hurt, never knowing what he had done? No, best to remember. Best to let what hurt and killed be worn down and broken. This wasn't the first time something had ended in his life. He had lost so much, even within his untainted memory. His entire world had literally been obliterated. Everything had ended then, but somehow this was different. It was so much smaller this time. What was one person as compared to a planet? And yet... when that had happened, it had marked beginnings as much as endings. He had been thrust into new places, people, experiences. It couldn't nearly replace what he had lost, but it could substitute it, filling him with new things and self. So little of him and his life remained tied to that past that something else could become him and be a person nearly complete. That made this time different. He was still here, in the Clinic. Everything else was practically identical to how it had been before she left. There was no new beginning here. How could he continue here, like this, without her? It made him sick to think about. So he stayed alone, confined in a room. He was still faintly glowing and slightly translucent. Whatever had happened back on Scadrial had seriously damaged him in some way. He had meant to seek out help, like he had promised Rue. After all, he couldn't lie to her. But then he had seen that look in her eyes, and watched her disappear into the hallways, and now he was here. A single point of fracture had left him shattered. An ending. As he sang his old song, he couldn't help but feel that it sounded hollow. @Edema Rue @The Halcyon Girl

"...What?"

Cedar gently took her hand.

Cedar raised his eyebrows in surprise.

He smiled.

"I love you."

"Yes."

"No, it's alright."

He stumbled slightly, looking dizzied.

"I'll try my best to do the same."

"Thank you."

He shivered.

"Let's just go home, please..."

"I wish I knew."