Spinsa

Alanik: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Boomslug will and will not eat.
Rodge: Grass? Yes!
Alanik: Moss? Yes!!
Rodge: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Alanik: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Rodge: Worms? Sometimes!
Alanik: Rocks? Usually nah.
Rodge: Twigs? Usually!
Alanik: Jorgen's cooking? Inconclusive!
Arturo: How did you… test this?
Alanik: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.
Arturo: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.
Jorgen: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

 

 

Spensa: Yo idiot, get over here.
M-bot: Okay-
Jorgen: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!
M-bot, sadly: I thought... I was idiot...

 

 

Spensa: Change is inedible.
Arturo: Don’t you mean inevitable?
Spensa, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.

 

 

Jorgen: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Spensa: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

 

 

Jorgen: I’m telling you, my team is competent.
Alanik, rushing in: Jorgen! Spensa tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

 

*at Evershore*

Alanik: The Ocean is a soup.
Arturo:
Arturo: Do elaborate.
Alanik: What are needed for something to be a soup?
Arturo: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.
Alanik: *Tilts head*
Arturo: The Ocean is a Soup.
Alanik: The Ocean is a Soup.

 

M-bot: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!

 

 

Jorgen, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies.
Rodge: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired?
Jorgen: I have depression, what do you think?

 

 

Jorgen : For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Alanik, Arturo, & Spensa: Okay.
Jorgen : If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Alanik: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Arturo: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Spensa: Bold of you to assume I can die.

*Rodge teaching Spensa to drive and taking Jorgen along for the ride*
Rodge: That's a pothole. To the left!
Spensa: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*
Jorgen, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.
Spensa: I don't think that's how the song goes.
Rodge, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.
Spensa: Country Roads.
Jorgen: To the place.
Spensa and Jorgen in unison: I Belong!
Rodge, crying harder: What the scud?!

Here's a big one haha I've really had fun with the Incorrect Quote Generator if you couldn't tell

Jorgen: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?
Spensa : Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.

*Spensa and Jorgen at a zoo*
Spensa : What are they in for?
Jorgen: Spensa , this isn't prison.
Spensa : So they can leave?
Jorgen: No, but-
Spensa , pointing at a monkey: I bet that one murdered someone.

Rodge: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.
Nedd : I photosynthesize with this.

Jorgen: Scud, the power went out.
Spensa : Don’t worry, I got this.
Spensa : *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Jorgen: What-?
Spensa : I swallowed a glow stick!
Jorgen, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

Spensa : Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this scudding flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’
Alanik: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

Spensa : BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.
M-bot: That is not something you actually have installed.
Spensa : Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG OPINION.

Spensa : Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?
Chet: No.
M-bot: No.
Spensa : Didn't think so.

Spensa : Guys, M-bot is missing.
Chet: Good.

Chet: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Spensa : They do.
M-bot: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Spensa : Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
M-bot: Neither.
M-bot: Because it's twelve.

Jorgen: What do you have?
Spensa : A KNIFE!
Jorgen: NO!

Spensa : *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster*
Alanik: …
Spensa : …I get confused sometimes.
Alanik: Me too.

Alanik: How would you like your pancakes?
Jorgen: Plain.
Rodge : With sprinkles!
Arturo: Chocolate chips.
Spensa : Potatoes.
*Jorgen, Rodge , and Arturo look at Spensa *
Spensa : What? They're good.

FM: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Rodge , blushing: Okay.
Spensa : It's scudding summer.

Spensa : You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Jorgen: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Spensa : I said within reason, Jorgen. How about I murder that guy?
Jorgen: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Spensa : Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Arturo: Can I have some?
Spensa , mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

Arturo: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Alanik: Wow. They sound stupid.
Arturo: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Alanik: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Arturo: I guess you’re right. Hey Alanik, I love you.
Alanik: See! Just say that!
Arturo: Holy Scud.
Alanik: If that flies over their head then, sorry Arturo, but they're too dumb for you.
Arturo: Alanik.

Arturo: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake?
Arturo & Jorgen: One, two, three-
Arturo & Jorgen: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks!
Spensa : Our turn, Alanik! One, two, three-
Spensa : Vanilla!
Alanik: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

Spensa , taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.
Rodge , entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the s-

Alanik: Bye Arturo! Bye Jorgen! Bye FM! Bye Rodge ! Bye Arturo!
Spensa : You said ‘bye Arturo’ twice.
Alanik: I like Arturo.

Alanik: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
Rodge: Okay.
*later*
FM: Rodge! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.
Alanik, whispering: Deny everything.
Rodge, loudly: That isn't a chair.

Spensa: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off?
Kimmalyn: What? No, I—
Jorgen: *enters room*
Spensa: *jaw clenches*

Spensa, trying to comfort Arturo: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

FM: Do you love Jorgen?
Spensa: Yeah, I do.
FM: Arturo! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!
Arturo: We all love Jorgen. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.
Spensa: I thought that was implied.
Arturo: ...
FM: ...
Spensa, looking straight at Arturo: Congrats FM, you just won 100 bucks.

(minor spoilers)

Jorgen in Evershore:

Jorgen: Is this a good idea?
Jorgen: Probably not.
Jorgen: Do I care?
Jorgen: No.

Spensa: Do you ever think? Because I do not.

Spensa: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.
FM: What?
Spensa: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Rodge: I know you love them.
Arturo: I am not in love with Alanik!
Rodge, staring at Arturo: I never said who...
Arturo: *realizes*
Arturo: Scud. Well, anyways-

Spensa: Who the scud-
Kimmalyn: Language!
Spensa: Whom the scud-
Kimmalyn: No.

M-bot: Wait you like me? For my personality?
Spensa: I know, I was surprised too.

FM: How does that even work?
Rodge, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?!
FM: Your face doesn't make sense.

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Rodge: Thanks fam!
Jorgen: Oh no.
Alanik: *cries* I love you too.
Arturo: Sounds fake, but okay.
FM: *A flustered mess*
Spensa: Can I get a refund?

Arturo: Why is Spensa crying?
FM: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-
Spensa: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!
Arturo: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-
Spensa: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!
Arturo: NO, NOT THAT!