Aeoryi

Nope

37 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i ended up going outside yesterday and todaay too

and

actually drank water ehich was surpising to me

i didnt even do it on purpose it just happened and i was kinda gulping it down before i knew it and

i guess i just decided it wasn't worth it to not drink so i just did

and have been today too

 

uhh yay

and to make up for it i

yay

Self care

20 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

I don't think that I could.... First, I couldn't get away with it because everyone around me would notice... Second, I would absolutely be subjected to a lot of questions if I did get caught.

mmmm people tend not to notice small things like that. especially if you're younger.

20 minutes ago, Shatter said:

All of you are new to the Shard. To make us really feel old, we have @Aeoryi.

ha! I joined about half a decade before conure. y'all have nothing on me

I'm so surprised everyone here has quotebooks tbh I didn't realize that was popular

43 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Nice!

Fair. I don't shave my legs but I really want to....

Then you should!

25 minutes ago, Guest said:

Where else?

Forum games, I suppose I probably have posts in the social groups and creator corner and a lot of miscellaneous threads and such 

I occasionally reply to discussion board topics as well.

Just now, Guest said:

Are all your posts from roleplaying?

Many of them are, I would say, but not all.

1 minute ago, Grubfriend said:

Talk about dedication to the bit. 

Also, who was panda? I don’t really remember anyone by that name, but TLT is not the best for social interaction, unlike TLPL.

Oh I recognize you now (had to look at your username history)

smilingpanda19?

2 minutes ago, Grubfriend said:

Old member, I mostly remember him for his incredibly long and detailed posts on The Longest Thread that did a lot of lore stuff. Didn’t really know him outside that.

@Aeoryi I just want to avoid it because it feels rude to remember him by speculation of why he was banned instead of the good things.

I was around when he was not banned. I have things to remember him by. We collaborated in TLT to bring perhaps one of the most epic arcs into play with a lot of my favorite characters. 

But at the same time, we also talked to each other a bit in private about the sort of politics on the shard too, and he talked about how he was kinda on thin ice with the mods because of how often he would tread the line. I think he said he was at 3 points at that point in time, and he didn't have the ability to change his username (row spoilers)

1 minute ago, Guest said:

And who was Thaidakar the ghost blood?

He was a kind fellow

1 minute ago, Grubfriend said:

Not really sure if I have the right to speculate. Out of respect for him, I will avoid muddying the waters.

hmmm... I do think panda told me once upon a time, but that would've been quite a while ago. I don't know if we're necessarily forbidden to speculate at all.

18 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

prolly rubix or smth

https://www.17thshard.com/profile/46133-thaidakar-the-ghostblood/?status=40908&type=status

don't think that's something they tell the public

 

 

I think I might know a bit about it. I think I was told once.

8 minutes ago, Factor said:

Huh. You know a lot of stuff.

there's also members2 but that's more for organization and whatnot

members2 might be a user group created by accident or it might be used in specific special cases

9 minutes ago, Guest said:

Is hiding posts not allowed?

It is allowed, but staff can still see it when you do so 

6 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Banning can be where chaos or a mod just nukes the account [from orbit or wtvr lol], so deletes their posts and everything on their profile (about me, membet title, etc.). Includes SU's i assume. and pfp.

They can completely wipe away an account, which is mostly used for bots, or they can simply ban someone. 

there's also a warning points system you can see on your profile. If you hit five, you get permanently banned.

3 minutes ago, Factor said:

No there's a group too like members vs members2.

there are 5 user groups as far as I can tell

1. New members
2. Members
3. Moderators
4. Administrators (long ago there were also head admins)
5. Retired Staff: any user who used to be on staff has a yellow bolded username
6. Arcanium Staff: users who are staff on the arcanium
7. Coppermind Staff: users who are staff on the coppermind wiki
8. Dragonsteel: (mostly just Peter and the Brandon account that's a bit)
9. Patrons: Those who paid to support the site get a little plus before their name
10. Guests: Users who are under the age of thirteen or otherwise are not logged in fall under this category.

14 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i think "new members" group is for ppl who haven't posted or haven't got rep or smth

and the hand is for like a week or a month after u join or smth

GASP uncorrected closing parenthesis..

somehow i cant stand those when i accodently do them (like this(

and i alwas fix them even tho i dont fix other typos idk..

it's just a sign

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i did running back a while ago, yesrs back i guess

i dont like swimming and havent done it in years

and i dont really like anything

except walking/walks, but even that depends.

i dont have anywehrre I'd enjoy it when im not in the mood like now

if i eere in the mood then maybe, but its hot outside and i dont wanna get up...

you should still go outside. it is beneficial 

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

no   /hj

no..

Dang. have you ever wanted to do something active? Like swimming or running?

4 minutes ago, Factor said:

*has problem quoting links*

*GASP*

THAT'S IT!

*dramatically closes case*

Also

am i hallucinating

or did new member used to get bith the hand on their pfp and be part of the "new members" group? Because now all the new members are just oart of the "members" group (still with the hand but was their not a seperate group before?(

The hand has always been a sign of the members group, like the shield

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

i have some ice cream but i ate some of it yesterday and i didnt get any joy from it

i haven't rlly gone outside in a bit, except maybe yesterday tbh actually (which was why my morning was good and rest of day crap)

but i haven't exercised or gone outside really in a whillleee... except once.

i dont wanna tho and idk its been hot...

Do you have any friends you could go out to eat ice cream with?

9 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

im limited in that regard

*partially* cuz i dont have any desire/motivation to do much but lie in bed writing/journaling or reading a bit...

you should go outside and get ice cream 

4 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

hehe

i was feeling very sad and just got sadder yesterday...

maybe do something that makes you happy 

5 minutes ago, Guest said:

How so?

I think you're an alt account 

15 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i just looked a bit like usual....

sighh

i hate the weekends 

and other days but less 

 

i feel so sad rn

but all i can do is... nothing, really 

Whenever I look at reddit I immediately feel worse

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

yeah mhm

 

idk ima go onredit

no don't that is a bad choice

11 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

yeah i guess

i dont really know tho

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maybe its cuz im dehydrated and not drinking and dizzy

 

 

 

i

dont want

to

idk i cant think

You need to take care of yourself first, ok?

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

yeah.. thats good i just hope the hrt isn't making me this sad cuz ive been very sad recently

my psychiatrist is gonna put me on a mood med or smth i think, idk..

but what if im misidentifying something as something else?

true i guess, it just feels.. idk, like i missed out and now idk

a bit, but not thouroughly. Idk.

 

i tried writing another Lily story (basically based on me, kinda. self-insert or whatever the term is.) but i felt awful doing it. It also wasn't even a very good one, it was basically just me trauma-dumping or info-dumping or whatever and I probably won't post it. But after a few paragraphs I just switched to using no name and just "she" (it was third person, like the others.) But I don't know what gender I am and I don't like it, and I don't know what name I am either and I don't like that. I chose Lily and I loved it and now I feel detached from it... It feels weird to call myself Lily now. Others still call me that, but idk. I've also been weird with pronouns.. idk. I don't want to say too much "oh i always felt like this. looking back, ...." or wtvr but like... i kinda didn't truly feel like a girl? i did sometimes, but not always. maybe that means something else, or means nothing, or doesn't matter or whatever, but yeah. Everytime someone calls me a gendered term i cringe inside or try to like or hate it depending on what it wss but..

 

anyway..

That was all cringe and stupid of me and im just rambling repeatedly about the same reskinned things every damn day and i dont know what to do anymore, I'm tired of doing this and seeking nonexistent or weird answers that I can't get. ado im tired.

i dont know what to do since clearly im not doing this all right. not thinking or living right. should i give up all this? Like, stop trying to figure everything out? That is probably a good thing to do in others' minds, but what do I do then? Just continue on? I won't be able to make any choices related to gender sexuality or anything related to my identity, if i dont know what/who I am.

so...

uggghh

You don't need to 100% figure out everything in order to make changes you know will be beneficial 

Also some people I know change their chosen name frequently and/or gender expression/identity 

It's not abnormal