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Zephrun’s Imperium

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  1. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nicolae only sobbed. His self-loathing was physically painful. "It doesn' matter who I am, miss," he whispered, hands clenched into fists. "Because I'm never going to be anything more than how they see me."
  2. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "A slut an' nothin' more. Yeah, tha's right, a slut for never bein' anythin' less than kind to everyone my whole life. Buyin' you and the girls ice cream an' makin' origami birds for 'Bella." He was sobbing ugly tears now, his intakes of breath shaking along with the rest of his body. "An-An' when I kills me-self, you'll know I di'n' ever treat you wrong never, nor say a poor word before you, yet I'm still goin' to Mal, I am, 'cause I'm a slut, miss."
  3. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nico hung his head. This was what he deserved. "You shouldn't. I'm awful, miss, I know. I know." Stars, he wanted to curl up into a ball and die right here. "I'm a tramp, I am, an' tha's all I'll ever be."
  4. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "Does I have to want anythin'? I jus' wanna be friends with them, tha's all. You can hate me if you want. Hate me forever for no reason at all like the rest of the world, but jus'... Don't'cha let those girls think of me like e'r'body else."
  5. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nico's tears made his big brown eyes almost puppy-like. "I don' wanna sleep with you, miss. Nor nob'dy. I'm just..." Another pawn in their game, miss, an' it's awful, it is. He sobbed. "I'm not no slut, I tells ya. Swear on my life, I doesn't want nothin' like that with you. Or those two precious... Oh, Stars above."
  6. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nico raised an eyebrow. "Well, whaddya thinkin' I want with them, miss? They're sweet little kids, tha's all. I've known Katie forever, I have. We was eatin breakfast one mornin' - Katie an' I - an' Bella..." He paused. "My Stars, you thinkin' I want some sort of... I would never!" His stomach turned at the thought. "Tha's disgusting that is. I ain't been nothin' but kind to ya, miss, an' now you're..." Nicolae shook his head and started crying.
  7. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nicolae braced himself, shaking. But... she didn't kiss him. He cracked an eye open, relieved to only be yelled at. "W-with who?"
  8. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nicolae maneuvered out of his ill-fitting seat and shuffled along by Wendy. His shoulders were up to his ears and he couldn’t meet her eyes.
  9. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "Well, Nicolae certainly don't mind if you take Nicolae for a moment." Though Nico laughed, he was secretly rather scared. If Wendy was like most girls, he'd be taken behind some trees for some unwanted making out in just a few seconds. He wouldn't say no, of course, but that was because he was too afraid to.
  10. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "'Ello, Wendy!" He refrained from calling attention to how long she'd been in the bathroom.
  11. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "Yessiree!" The man at the stand gave Arabella a mint cone with drizzeled chocolate.
  12. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Riva was awoken by a knock at the door. It took her a moment to realize what she was hearing and she rolled over in bed, groaning. "No... It's too early." "Lady Praetorium, you have a visitor," said a voice muffled by a door. She grabbed a pillow, putting it over her head. "Go away, just go away..." It was really no wonder she was so tired. She'd stayed up quite late after eating to read the journal. In fact... "What time is it!?" "It's a half hour to 9 AM, my Lady." Three hours of sleep. Uuuuuuugh. Well. She could always go back to sleep after the fact. "Who is it?" "A sir Daku, my Lady. He has your things." Riva sat up in bed. That was good news. "Right, right, send him in." She didn't care that she was still wearing her chemise; Daku had seen her in less.
  13. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nico handed out the cones. "Right, then. Let's sit down and wait for your Wendy, yeah?"
  14. Zephrun’s Imperium
  15. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nicolae shrugged. "Well, okay then..." "Well, now, she's a feisty one," said the ice cream man. "Dunno how you can keep a woman like that. She your wife?" "Oh! Oh, no, no." Nicolae blushed, looking at his feet. "I'm just a friend of these little ones, I am. She's their caretaker." "Ah, I see. Well, I certainly don't recommend courting that one."
  16. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "Aww, no, miss, I insist. My salary's bigger 'an yours, save yourself some coin." The man selling ice cream, took Nicolae's coin. "Come now, miss, let your boyfriend pay for ya. He's being nice, don't be prideful."
  17. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "I'll take your smallest cone, if you don't a-mind," said Nicolae. He pulled out a thick golden coin. "This should cover all the four of us."
  18. Zephrun’s Imperium

    I am impaired and I hate it.

    This morning I went upstairs to get something to eat and I literally couldn't handle it. For those who don't know, I have a lot of sensory issues, particularly with sound. It's the biggest part of my anxiety. I love people to death, but sometimes I literally can't handle noise. It gets to the point sometimes where any small noise at all is piercing and I want to scream and kill something. And for someone with 5 younger siblings... it's too much for me to handle a lot of the time.

    I spend most of my time in my room in the basement. And I hate it. I like being alone sometimes and my room is amazing, but it feels like my cage. I don't WANT to stay down here. I WANT to go to activities and be able to hang out with my family, because despite what I try to convince myself, I actually do like being around them quite a bit. But sometimes I literally can't because my STUPID head is so sad and messed up. I hate that people have to accommodate me for me to be normal. I hate that I'm so broken up that sometimes I can't even function. I am such a wreck, you guys. It's not okay.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Vapor

      Vapor

      *hugs if you still want them*

    3. Narcoleptic Axolotl

      Narcoleptic Axolotl

      You could wear earmuffs, like the ones people use at a shooting range. Have you already tried that? Would it help?

    4. Zephrun’s Imperium

      Zephrun’s Imperium

      That’s the thing though, I don’t want to have to change anything about myself or add anything to my person to be able to hang out with people. Sometimes I wear a hat, sometimes I wear air plugs, and I have noise canceling headphones

  19. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "What about you, Bella? What flavor do you want?"
  20. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "That what flavor you want, love?"
  21. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "But it ain't too bad, I guessin'. Can only get better from here, that's right!"
  22. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "Ooo, blimey. That wouldna been a nice night to get here. I's sorry for your's sake."
  23. Zephrun’s Imperium
    "So!" said Nico. "How long has you and Bella been at the castle, Wendy?"
  24. Zephrun’s Imperium
    Nicolae took Arabella's little hand in his.
  25. Zephrun’s Imperium
    He shrugged. "Ok'y, miss."
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