Zath

Thanks, Kaj and kuiinteth! I'm glad you liked it.

The Nightwatcher stares at you, unamused by your clever "wish", and then turns you into a cremling for wasting her time. Not to worry, though, she also gives you a boon: you are the most popular of cremlings, and all the other cremlings want to be your friend and hear about your previous adventures as a Mudkip. I wish for a tasty sandwich the size of Massachusetts.

Half human, half dog? Ha! That's ridiculous- *walks past a mirror* HOLY HARMONY!! How long has this been going on?! Wish granted. *time warp ensues* BitBitio the Mudkip, you forgot to make a wish! Shame on you! You hereby suffer all the banes of previous posters going back to the last time someone forgot to make a wish. I wish to for the ability to manipulate photons.

Granted! Your wish is impossible to mess up. Your bane is that the Nightwatcher lied. You totally messed up that wish. So, so badly. It's completely null and void, so the Nightwatcher gives you a different boon and bane instead. Your boon is that you are now a Mudkip (if you weren't already). Your bane is that you are forced to fight to exhaustion in brutal Pokemon battles for the entertainment of the masses. I wish to know who I am.

Granted! Whenever you come across food that you wish to copy and paste, here's what you do. "Plug" a computer keyboard into the desired food item (You do carry a keyboard around with you at all times, don't you?) Press Ctrl-C Unplug the keyboard Press Ctrl-V Voila! An exact duplicate of the food will appear at the end of the keyboard's cord. Enjoy! Your bane is that whenever someone asks you what you'd like to eat, or if they ask you what your favorite food is, your answer will always be this: "ICE-COLD VENGEANCE!! Dripping with the blood of my enemies!! ...with a light Caesar salad on the side." On these occasions, you will be given a pickle and nothing else (except for some weird stares from the people around you, of course ). I wish for a mobile home.

Thank you! Building off of some that have gone before... Mistborn: The Well of Ascension (and The Hero of Ages):

A man spends the night drinking at various bars across town. On his way back home, he suddenly remembers that his wife had told him not to go drinking. As he's trying to think up a good excuse for why he was out all night, he passes a music shop. Neither he nor his wife are musicians, so he flips through a book for beginning musicians and comes across the word syncopation. Later, when he gets home, his wife confronts him. "Were you out drinking again?" she demands. "Nope, I was doing syncopation," the man says smugly. His wife, having no idea what this means, goes to look up the word in a dictionary. She finds this definition. Syncopation (noun): "Unsteady movement from bar to bar." (yep, that's a wah, wah, waaaaaah joke. ) True story: I played the French horn when I was in band, back in my middle school days. I joined the school's jazz band (obviously, since that's the genre of music you immediately think of when someone says "French horn"), and I was always surprised when they didn't have any sheet music for me.

Captain Bob was hunting the seas for the infamous pirate ship, the "Line". Bob's own ship was unusual; instead of canon balls, it launched grappling hooks, which could penetrate a ship's hull and then tear it apart when retracted. Eventually, Captain Bob found the pirate ship "Line" and rallied his crew for the impending battle: "Listen well, men! These pirates have terrorized innocents along the coast for several months! Their ship was the one that sunk that passenger vessel just last week! I think I speak for all of us when I say..." Captain Bob turned to point dramatically at the pirate ship (which was now within range) and cried, "She'll fall for it! Hook Line and sink her!"

The Emperor's Soul:

You know you're a Sanderfan when you really want to get a job at your local library just so you can pull something like this... Sidles up to a random library patron, looks around suspiciously, then slips patron a copy of "Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians", whispers, "Shhh! I'm an agent from the Free Kingdoms, sent here to the Hushlands on an infiltrate-and-inform mission. Read this. It will open your eyes to the Librarian conspiracy. ...And also the Great Kitten Conspiracy. If anyone asks, you didn't get the book from me." winks, then says in a louder voice, "Checking out a fantasy book? Well, you can't believe anything you read in there, can you?" winks again "None of it's true, absolutely none of it. There's no knowledge in there that could undermine a non-existent cult of evil Librarians -- which, as I mentioned, doesn't even exist." winks a third time "Enjoy your fantasy book, random library patron!" caaaaasually walks away

The Nightwatcher nods and says "Grant-" before she's interrupted. "No," says a grumpy voice from behind you. You turn around and see Vasher scowling at you. "I'm not getting married." He turns on his heel and stomps away, muttering under his breath, "17th Sharders, who do they think they are? Makes me eat the wrong flower..." After a moment of awkward silence, the Nightwatcher looks at you and shrugs. "Sorry. There's only so much I can do when dealing with someone that grouchy." I wish for a jellybean!

Stormlight Archive (Kaladin learning how to use his abilities):

On the topic of kandra barbers, I think there's a decent chance that there'd be at least one. Kandra can't grow hair when they imitate people, right? What better way to collect hair for other kandra to use than by becoming a barber? "Here's a wig for you, JodKorr. Here's one for you, KeddPar. And here's a nice one I collected just this morning, MarSoon!" If that's the case, Marsh could stop by for a quick shave without creating a panic. He'd be the only true "regular" in that barber shop.

Welcome to the 17th Shard, Randi! The Mistborn Adventure Game from Crafty Games sounds like it could be what you're looking for: a pen and paper RPG that's kinda similar to Dungeons & Dragons but more narrative-based (and, of course, has more Mistborn awesomeness). There's a play-by-post forum dedicated to the Mistborn Adventure Game and its supplements called SteelMinistry.com where you can find other players and (more rarely) narrators/GMs. There's also a board game called Mistborn: House War that you might be interested in. I've never played it, but it sounds fun. And, like Archer mentioned above, there's a bunch of other Role Playing stuff around this site -- The Alleyverse, Mistborn the Inquisition, Sanderson Elimination, etc.

How about Space? Spatial manipulation, teleportation, all that jazz. Is that already covered by one of the other elements? If that doesn't work, how about Time?

Aw, shucks... Thank you! Granted! You take the time to listen to all those RWBY songs, and then you reread Mistspren's posts and chuckle at all the puns that you now understand. Your bane is that the time you took was from your own life, so you'll die that much sooner. When the time comes and you pass away, your epitaph says, "The puns were worth it." No one understands what you meant by this. At your funeral, Mistspren gives a stirring eulogy that is entirely devoid of RWBY song puns. You return as a Cognitive Shadow -- scaring the rust out of everyone -- and demand a eulogy that consists of nothing but RWBY puns. Everyone is too freaked out to comply, so you just start singing "Time to Say Goodbye" as you slowly fade back into the Cognitive Realm. I wish for a comfortable pair of sneakers.

Man, I need to read more. I'm unfamiliar with a lot of these books. Sixth of the Dusk:

Marsh was out in the open when the sun was scorching Scadrial at the very end of The Hero of Ages, right? That easily could have burned his scalp badly enough.

This... This changes everything! Hemalurgy doesn't make you bald! Now I can get those spikes and not worry about losing my hair! Ha! Ahahaha! MWAHAHAHA! Oh, wait. Hemalurgy doesn't prevent baldness, either. Hmph. What's the point, then? Hemalurgy: 0 Early Onset Male Pattern Baldness: 1 Anyways... This. Similar to how (minor Words of Radiance spoilers): Marsh views his baldness as an "injury", as part and parcel with becoming an Inquisitor against his will. With all that Investiture spiked into his system, his perception of himself has a lot more impact on his appearance. Maybe. Such is my theory, at least. ...Or he just shaves every morning. With hundreds of years of practice, he could probably do it in seconds by now.

The Nightwatcher frowns at you. "Oh, I see how it is. My boons weren't good enough for you, huh? My banes were too tough for you, HUH?! Well then, we'll have to remedy the situation, now won't we?" The Nightwatcher starts chuckling, and then lets loose with a maniacal laugh as your surroundings quickly grow dimmer and dimmer. Darkness engulfs you, and then you feel the floor beneath you shudder violently, sending you tumbling to the ground. The tremors continue, the wind howls and tears at you, and you still can't see a thing, until- You're in a comfy reading chair at your local library. Completely fine. After taking a moment to calm down, you pull a book off of a nearby shelf. You can read it just fine. You grab a few more books from different genres, and everything's perfectly legible. So far, so good. Your thoughts turn to the next Era 2 Mistborn book, The Lost Metal, and you discover that you know nothing about its plot, beyond what you've already figured out from foreshadowing in the earlier books and the odd WoB. Storm it. The Nightwatcher didn't let you keep that boon! "Lousy, cheapskate, cognitive-Splinter-spren-thing..." you mutter. It's at this moment that you find a banana in your pocket. Oh good, you think, I was feeling a bit peckish. You take it out, peel it, and thoughtlessly toss the peel behind you. A "Woah-" followed by a loud crash and the sound of falling books makes you spin around. A muscular man in a button-up shirt, a bow-tie, and thick glasses is rubbing his head and glaring at you. "How dare you leave a banana peel lying around in a library!" he says in a scandalized tone. "You are in BIG trouble!" He pulls a small walkie-talkie from his belt and speaks into it, "Inform His Darkness, Most Dark of all Dark Oculators, that we have a Code 736298-B. ...No, it's not a monkey trying to check out a juvenile fiction novel, you're thinking of Code 736298-C... Yes, I'm sure! Ugh, just tell His Darkness that we have a banana peel thrower on the loose! Yes, that's what I said! No, don't put me through to his secretary, just-" None of this sounds very pleasant to you, so you decide to make yourself scarce.. by sprinting out of there as fast as you can. You make it out unscathed. The banana is still in your hand, and you take a bite of it. It is, without a doubt, the BEST banana you have ever tasted. Every bite is heaven. This is the banana that all other bananas aspire to be. To sum up... Boon: You get the best banana. THE best. Bane: You've been blacklisted by the Evil Librarians. I wish I could think up and type these kinds of things faster without sacrificing the quality of content.

Granted. When you get back to your kitchen at home after visiting the Nightwatcher, your yo-yo is sitting on the counter. "Yo," you say. Unsurprisingly the yo-yo does not respond, because it is an inanimate object. You leave your yo-yo to go get some fro-yo with your bro, yo. Your bane is that you have lost the ability to tip-toe. Every time you try, you fall over. I wish for a living teddy bear named Professor Bartholdi Bartholomew Junior the Third.

Elantris spoilers:

I agree with this, and am fully expecting some major marital problems for Shallan and Adolin in future SA books. All of Shallan's many, many emotional issues (which @thejopen27 and @The Harlem Worldhoppers totally nailed above IMO, so I won't go into that here), plus Adolin's "unfaithful boyfriend" tendencies, added to the fact that this is only book 3 of 5 (technically book 3 of 10, but I'm pretty sure the love triangle plot will be resolved by the time the next 5-book cycle starts. ...I hope... ). Yeah, I don't think Brandon is intending the marriage scene at the end of OB to be the end of all these issues -- he just wants us to think it is. If so, that could break his trend of "arranged marriages that work out." Potentially in a very big way. I agree, but I personally am actually okay with this, because he is first and foremost an epic fantasy author. Not that that excuses poorly written romance sub-plots, it's just that I'm willing to forgive some hand-waving in the romance area if it means more flying, magical warriors battling it out at the front of a highstorm. There's room for improvement, sure, but I'm kinda glad that the romance sub-plots are sub-plots, you know? That's just my opinion, though.

Granted! Your bane is that to receive them, you must make upvote-worthy posts. You frown at the Nightwatcher, and she shrugs. "Hey, do you have any idea what the 17th Shard Admins would do to me if I messed around with their upvote system? They'd turn me into a rotting chasmfiend carcass with that omnipotent banhammer of theirs..." I wish for a glow-stick. Neon blue, please.

Granted. Your scythe-rifle is amazingly practical -- great for chopping fruit, opening letters, as an impromptu back-scratcher, trimming the hedges, and the sniper function makes it a blast to use in laser-tag. It's absolutely worthless in a fight, however, because violence is not a practical solution to your problems. Your bane is that every other person you meet mistakes you for the Grim Reaper and runs away, screaming at the top of their lungs, "I'm too young to die! Leave me be, thou fell specter of DEATH!!" You know how when you do laundry, and you have your favorite pair of socks in that load, and somewhere along the way one of them vanishes entirely, never to be seen again? I wish for that to never happen to anyone ever again.