EdgedanceroftheDawn

Before we start, I have something to say

I can beat y’all anywhere any day.

I can give Wit a run for his money

And you think you can beat me? Ha! So funny.

No one can beat me when it comes to roasting

It’s common knowledge, not even boasting.

My name is Shallan, or Radiant, or Veil

And you all should leave now ‘cause you’re destined to fail.

 

Pattern, you’re a weird mess of lines

One of the Almighty’s odder designs

I know you like lies, so I’ll speak in nothing but

You’re not at all creepy, I don’t hate your guts.

It’s not that you killed my mother

(though that’s totally your fault)

You’re just such a bother

Could you act like an adult?

You think by helping me you could be a hero?

That makes about as much sense as dividing by zero.

 

Syl, I must admit you’re kind of hard to roast

But up against me? Ha! You’re toast.

You’re idea of being clever is playing a stupid prank

I try to remember you being smart and my mind pulls a blank.

Hey, I like you but let me just be frank

When it comes to helping Kaladin, you kind of stank.

He was about to kill himself and you gave him blackbane?

Come on Sylphrena, have you no shame?

You’re lucky you’re Radiant lasted past your ‘help’

You think you’re a good spren? Welp

I hate to say it but it’s true

But you’re really not good at this

Your own bonded killed you

What was it like to visit the abyss?

 

Hello there Stick, how was your day

Oh, that’s great, now get ready to pay

You humiliated me once

And I never hear the end

Well you’re a monosyllabic dunce

And you don’t have any friends

It’s true, my anger may be making me petty

I’m just collecting my thoughts. Now, get ready.

You could be fire

It’s what I desire

Don’t draw my ire

Or I’ll snap you in half.

The truth is, you’re frail

Next to the rest of us, you pale

You’re one line’s getting stale.

And your fans makes me laugh.