*Hugs* being torn by such things is not easy. At times it can feel as though there is something wrong to fix. It can be overwhelming and it can create real doubt. Ultimately, that feeling though is something which is an illusion. Your parents as you said do love you. Sometimes things may get heated or it may seem that they are disappointed. However, remember that they do love you and care. If you remember that and the fact that you are capable then that feeling of being lost will be shown to be an illusion. Stay strong!