@Darkness Ascendant *huge hug*
Mate...I've felt similar to some of what you're going through, and have thought some similar things...just remember that you have friends on the shard who care about you, 'kay? I know that when you're feeling bad, it's hard to believe it (and I don't know your personal situation so I can't really judge on this point) but your friends/family do care about you.
And even if people are horrible, there are still so many amazing things in the world. Like birds, and nature, and starry skies. Don't give up on all the beautiful, amazing things in life.
I know I'm not so great at this sort of thing, but...I hope things get better for you.
Also, if you're trying to change things, do you think you should get some help (as in professional help) if you're not already getting some?