Mr. Staccato

4 hours ago, Shallan's Ward said:

Sleeping Voudbringer. I might actually survive that encounter. Unless a Chasmfiend couldn't feel me through it's shell. Then a Chasmfiend.

Would you rather fight Kelsier or Szeth?

Death from shardblade or death from a million little lacerations courtesy of allomancy-propelled coins. Are you kidding me?

Szeth dear god Szeth. Szeth is like the only sane answer to that question.

Now, in the same vein of this questioning let me ask you this. Which assassin would you rather prefer hunting you down?

Vin in all her fury? Or Kaladin believing you are just another pawn of Amaram?

On 12/31/2017 at 6:38 AM, kenod said:

Are there any plans for this to be updated with information from OB?

On 1/11/2018 at 11:00 AM, Curiosity's Splinter said:

After taking the quiz, I have to agree that the questions are good. But there needs to be more of them, at least 30, as so far the test is unbalanced and the questions tend to fall line with philosophy of sort, which explains the hard bent toward Elsecaller and Willshaper.

It also wasn't accurate for my highest order. My third was Oathbringer, which makes sense, and Dustrbringer my second, also makes sense for me. But Stoneward? If I am anything, it isn't a stoneward, let me be clear.

I will probably take it several times, but would it be unfair to consider my suggestion? Admittedly this is partly because I enjoy these kinds of quize tests. The more the merrier I say.

Update: so here are my results. I averaged out the first time percentages with the percentages from three others I performed an hour ago. These results seem to be more in line with how I function/think/believe, although the strong presence of Stoneward still baffles me. Oh well. Maybe I am?

53% Bondsmith

46% Stoneward

42% Windrunner

 

I'm just getting back to the Shard after a couple months hiatus so I'm currently unsteady on my feet so this is probably going to be nonsensical post but first - yes, @kenod I'm probably going to update this quiz but first I'm going to have to get my copy of Oathbringer first (because literature in my country sucks and they can never ship the books I want in time so I'm probably going to end up with a copy in May kmn)

@Curiousity's Splinter thank you for the earnest opinion. In terms of balancing the scales I'm pretty sure I have the bases covered but yes I'll admit that the questions may be skewed to certain KR orders (or more likely it is extremely difficult to find a sharder who checks the more warrior-esque orders because everybody in the shard is a scholar or an intellectual in some manner or the other XD)

Of Devil and Feykind

 And it lives and it dies withheld in our chests - a circle like a merry-go-round. But nothing about it is merry, and rarely is it actually round. If you are lucky, you get to hold it in the palm of your hands like a butterfly with damaged wings - and you can croon to it, sing softly to it with shallow words and sentiments like passing headlights in the dark.

 For it is a fey thing to love. It isn't human.

 Gravity may keep the earth in a tether, but love free and unconstrained will splinter even that which keeps us aground. For it is not light and air but crushing defeat and monstrous force.

 Love is the bullet in the cartridge, the recoil of a shotgun that breaks the shoulder holding it aloft. It blackens the teeth, lines the throat and lungs with scum. It is the bittersweet kiss of ampethatimine's peak, the acrid smoke of cannabis.

 And yet even after all this we breathe it freely like god's own grace.

 So may it break us then like lego pieces for we foolishly accept it like candy and medicine. Let us open our chests with surgical knives and damage each other in turn - with broken ribs and fractured spines. The coruscating sound of thunder in the beating of skin and the pulsating of muscle, the song that follows every man's woe and every woman's whimper.

 Love is not for humanity - it is for devious gods and martyred poets.

 But maybe - just maybe, we are in fact devious gods.

20 hours ago, Krandacth said:

I wish for @Drake Marshall to replace the nightwatcher, with all her power, for the next bane/boon. (So, he is responsible for the bane and boon for the person who reports mine and makes a wish.)

The nightwatcher temporarily steps down for @Drake Marshall. (Wohoo) (Oh wait. Does this mean he'll be the one to...? Oh storms.)

It seems a harmless boon (for you) so the nightwatcher decides on an innocuous bane for you. You get to temporarily replace Wyndle as Lift's cultivationspren for a day. Hurray!

I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process.

On 3/31/2017 at 11:55 AM, TMonsta said:

Well I don't do alcohol and I heard that the cookies were spiked. 

Finally an intro savvy-sharder. P.S. Though technically some sharders can only go so far as offer you "cookies", some of the older denizens have been known to circumvent this by just going ahead and stabbing you with the sp- er, "cookies." (I'm looking at you @Oversleep...)

If you see the aforementioned name above coming. Just run, kay?

I honestly have no idea how to begin this seeing as so many people have already posted their opinions and whatnot but I decided to at least come back and say my piece if only for the sake of a quick apology.

Hey @Rockobar - I haven't posted on this thread because the last time I opened this up a lot of things were going. I will admit that when I first took a look at your letter I also felt a little bit indignant. I've reconsidered things since then and what I'd like to say is this:

You are strong, opinionated, and despite getting disagreements left and right you've held on to your stand and for that I commend you. Not a lot of people can process all that and still take the time to draft a politely-worded answer to every single reply. I personally wouldn't have been able to do something like that, so yeah, kudos.

Second, I get your viewpoint - personally, sometimes I think on the same path too. But I also understand why so many people rallied against it because no matter how true that viewpoint may be, we are more than just the seconds we spend thinking of the graves that will be inevitably dug up for us. You are not wrong, your opinions are sound and logical - if not a little bit tilted to one side - but please do understand that some of us explicitly came to Brandon because of the way he humanizes concepts like this.

With sex - it can sometimes be used to add a degree of reality and grit - because it is true human beings are really, really sexual creatures. But sometimes sex does nothing for a piece of fiction except putting something rather gratuitous between the pages simply for the sake of making characters seem mature and on point with adult interaction (YA novels). Brandon can manage that without sex and so far from what I've read, if he feels like adding something like that to a story would be necessary for advancement or realistic portrayal he'd do it. The fact that he hasn't done this doesn't necessarily mean that he's prude, he's conservative, or that he's keeping things safe for a community - he simply doesn't need it in. If you still think it's lacking then there's nothing we can really do about it - 

I will second the meaningful deaths part however because Brandon sometimes has a tendency to save them all and drop them like bombs and you can actually see it coming; but there's nothing technically wrong with the way he kills off his characters either. It's just multiple shades of tragic and if it gets me teary-eyed and heartbroken I think it still has pretty much done it's job well.

As for the utilitarianism part of your letter I think Brandon's already doing that. No where in his books has he ever made religion or religious people ever look purely good the same way that he has never ever painted atheistic people or people who commit to no faiths as bad. In fact, I applaud the way he writes about religion because Brandon is one of the few writers I know who actually knows the distinction between having a religion and having faith.

I hope you finish this post all the way because I will say this - I hope you stick around. I think you're a really interesting person in real life and that your arguments, although they rubbed some people the wrong way, I want you to know that they haven't gone completely unappreciated. Thank you for your post.

4 hours ago, Zennix said:

Granted. But you don't live long enough to the exam because you are murdered by Ghostblood assassins who mistook you for Jasnah. 

I wish to spank Cultivation. (Sorry guys. I just couldn't stop myself from posting that)

So you spank Cultivation (I will leave the rest of the sordid details to you, my friend). However, be ready to get spanked in turn by the full force of an actual Shard.

Don't worry - I'll be there to sweep up the molecular dust of your remains when the entire ordeal is over.

In the mean time, I gift to you this alternate bane! You are now invisible, but only when no one is watching. (I honestly have no idea how that's going to work out...)

I wish for an inter-Cosmere musical.

Pretty much Shallan all the way here. Like Shallan I get the whole thing about image and the tweaking and adjusting and the way she presents herself in different ways to different people. I get why she has to lie and the way she sometimes confuses her own lies for the truth because the whole thing is relative to her.

Though I am not as accomplished at that (c'mon she has lightweaving - no contest) I know what it feels like to be looked upon differently by other people and there's some part of me that protests at the idea of these boundaries finding out about each other even though I know I'm just pretty much being shallow about everything.

My drawings are subpar but I've been told my writing is (if I may boast) excellent.

Shallan has never been my favorite character in the series, but she is by far the closest thing I have to an avatar in the series.

Hey @Zennix! Anyway, yeah, a lot of things don't function the same way when using the mobile. Quotes and post editing also run into a little bit of difficulty (but they work). I'm not sure about sigs since I've only worked on them while on a computer but I think yeah that's part of the problem. Have you also checked up on the signature restrictions? It's pinned somewhere on one of the boards. It may also be the reason why you can't change your sig.

If you're confident it's not the mobile that's causing the problem I suggest you read the restrictions post. If it isn't, then you might have to borrow someone's PC for a mo. 

1 hour ago, Drake Marshall said:

Well that went dark... why so serious?

I was dropped into a vat of chemicals and arose with a glasglow smile and a tangle of seriously unfashionable sea-weed green hair.

4 hours ago, Zennix said:

Granted. But you are so consumed by hatred of your existence that you commit suicide by splintering yourself. 

I wish for a pet Chasmfiend. 

Voila.

I wish Oathbringer would feature Brandon's first cross-over couple.

So general comments. First off, I've read my fair share of magic systems in the past and I really think you're going to benefit from reading Brandon's own guide to magic systems. However so as not to rip off the content, I'm just going to go ahead and put in my observations.

First off, I think the twist to "true names" in the form of intimate understanding of the object's riftself is innovative. It's not completely new territory but at least it isn't similar to the song cycle or Ursula Le Guin's works.

The element thing is I assume like Fire, Water, etc.? I am going to stay clear of this for a moment because I am heavily biased with spell systems like this, however I will say that if you plan on going on this road impose strict conditions or employ a method of element control that isn't as simple as simply waving your hands in the air.

*Avatar had specific stances and utilized sets of movement in order to control the elements.

*Codex Alera compensates by using Furies, and that crafters couldn't overtly control their elemental powers, in fact element control in the series was more like letting these furies run rampant instead of guiding them. The crafters had minimal control over the overt manifestation of their abilities.

*The Five Magics had strict laws that could not be circumvented for each magic.

However, if you want magic to be easy or less sciensey that's your call. That can work too.

The song system seems promising. I'd like more info on this.

The lifedust thing though seems at odds with the prior two because if everything that you can fetter with your magic system can be considered an element why would you separate lifedust from the rest? It works on the same principles as the other two, right?

Keep up the good work and oh btw I'm pretty sure that the rest of the shard would be happy reviewing your novel. 

17 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I wish to replace the nightwatcher.

And so she gets replaced - however since you named no replacement, the nightwatcher is instead succeeded by the Joker.

And so we all die horrible deaths. @Drake Marshall you choke on a sandwich of Rock's own design. I drown in Shadesmar. And the next poster, whoever he or she is, gets mistaken by Kaladin as Amaram and dies accordingly.

I wish for guidance. 

On 3/31/2017 at 0:26 PM, Flynn said:

I want to be good at making other people happy. I don't know how to make other people happy. 

I was wondering if you could help me?

Hey I hope this isn't too personal a question but what brought this on? You can't possibly mean you've never made other people happy before. I've bet you've made tons of people happy already, but something about the way you say this makes me think that it's not so much that you can't make other people happy but that you prioritize theirs over yours.

I'm sorry if this is an unwelcome psycho-analysis. We don't know each other and I'm over-assuming stuff already so please if I offend you I don't mean it.

But all I want to say is that if you're the one who's unhappy stop trying to make others happy at your expense. No amount of advice will change this - if the things you're doing or not doing aren't making people happy, then stop. I don't mean never do it again - I mean, just stop for a moment and think. Because in the end you can't make other people happy - especially if the people you are trying to make happy really care about you - if you're not happy about where you are or what you are doing.

They'll see it as hollow. They'll end up thinking that you don't have to go through so much just for this.

And if that isn't the case - if they're content letting you work yourself to the bone just to make themselves happy, then I really have to ask if that's worth it.

Again I am sorry if this post is a little bit different. I've been there - it isn't pretty.

Three words, eight letters, one second.

Do you know what it is?

Why are you "some strange person?"

19 hours ago, kenod said:

There are already quite a lot of shout-outs to Jim Butcher (Obliteration's appearance is based on him).

You're kidding. Whenever David described Obliteration's appearance in the books, the impression that always came across to me was that of a dilapidated cowboy. Oh my god, and I'm supposed to be a fan of Jim Butcher. Now I have to think rethink the way my mind conjures faces~

1 hour ago, Ornstein said:

Ima gold fero, so no sweat

Actually you should - because you're a GOLD FERO.

And this forum is notorious for its universal practice of hemalurgy.

So... If I were you I'd start running.

3 hours ago, Necromancer said:

So I remembered that Prof and Tia's daughter (from one of the alternate universes) was named Tavi. I remember Tavi being a character in a Jim Butcher series as well so I was curious if maybe it was a shout-out to Butcher by naming her that. I decided to Google: "Tavi name" Instead I was hit with the feels train. 

Tavi, it turns out, is commonly a nickname for David. So it appears they named a child after him.

Oh yeah? Haha. Interesting - then you should know that Jonathan is Hebrew for "God has given", that Tia is Greek for "Goddess", and that David is Hebrew for "good."

So you could actually read that as "the God and Goddess has given good." That is SO NOT coincidental.

8 hours ago, hwiles said:

My only real remaining qualm with Sazed is that, on occasion, he unapologetically leads people by the nose to do his bidding without any claim to divinity. He groomed and emotionally abused Wax from a young age all the way to the end of BoM...was it for an overwhelmingly greater good? Yes. But I still think it's an abuse of power.

Sazed, by almost happenstance, obtained tremendous magical powers and abilities to sculpt the cosmere around himself. In my opinion, winning the Investiture lottery doesn't grant a man the right of dominion over his peers. If Sazed wanted to truly exemplify harmony and trust in free will, he would splinter his power and step down as God.

Trellists believe that metalborn should rule over regular humans because they possess more of Harmonys Investiture. I think this is a morally repugnant mechanism for leading a civilization, but it's not that different from how Sazed leads all of Scadrial. Sazed's pretty words and good intentions don't give him a right to Godhood.

I agree with everything @Jondesu wrote but I also have to add something else pertaining to Wax.

With or without Harmony's interference, Wax was always going to end up with a harrowing upbringing - remember, he was set up to be raised by his Uncle Ladrian, and we all know how that would have ended up had that followed through. And anyway, it wasn't as if Harmony was the one who planted the idea in Wax's head to pursue upholding the law as a career. Yes, he Pushed - but that push came in the form of

which invariably cemented his desire to pursue justice - which was in itself an accident since it wasn't like Harmony had a concrete idea of the outcome of that event.

Okay, so he manipulated circumstances in his life to pull him closer to his objectives - the spiked earring, Bleeder, leading him back to Elendel. I, for one, cannot blame Harmony in doing so. Every action of his must fall inside set parameters and to do away with them is to handicap himself. Isn't that why Tensoon once said that he served as Harmony's Preservation and that Wax was his Ruin?

Harmony needed enforcers who were capable of enforcing his personal convictions while not being constrained by the same parameters he himself was held to, while at the same time he needed people who were capable of acting on their own behest and be able to do things with utmost flexibility. And people like that do not come easy. He was lucky with TenSoon but he had to mould Wax body and soul to fit the description.

Was it wrong? OF COURSE. I perfectly empathize with Wax's outrage and indignation on this matter - but when you really need a tool, you'll end up finding it in anything remotely capable of accomplishing what you need to accomplish, and you end up using it regardless of what that tool is. And in this case, the tools are people, sad to say.

But if you're a god you have to settle for either of two things: absolutely no interference (which Sazed will never approve of), or interference here and there bordering on infringing upon other people's wishes. And also, I have long believed that if it was in Sazed's power to step down, he would have done so by now. The fact that he hasn't means that he can't - or that he thinks what he's doing is justified.

Not right or good. Justified. Anything Sazed does and will do in his current situation will always come across as an abuse of power - he might as well do good by it.

5 minutes ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted.

You can no longer eat meat. You have no appetite for it and you simply cannot get it in your mouth or taste it.

I wish for less homework to do.

You have been abducted by the Beast and now live in his castle to serve as his Belle. Homework is sent from your school to you via carrier pigeon and the living, breathing furniture and cleaning implements answer your papers and do your math homework for you.

Voila! You now have less homework to do! (P.S. You might want to tell off the bottle of gin who insists on answering your math questions for you because he can't count for the love of crap. (Because he's drunk - no duh.))

Oh, and also, your toes have been Awakened and they have nightly dalliances with the teapot and her son when you're sleeping. (I'm high, thank you.)

I wish for the stupidest thing a man could possibly wish for.

On 3/3/2017 at 3:08 AM, ccstat said:

You say you’re not that tough
Complain you’ve got it rough
But we don’t have enough, mmm-mmm
We still don’t have enough, mmm-mmm

No need to act so gruff
Just one more list of stuff
We still don’t have enough, mmm-mmm
No we don’t have enough, mmm-mmm

This sounds more like my mom when she's taking inventory of the kitchen...

 By the by, I was genuinely headbanging my table while reading the chorus and oh my God I heard Taylor Swift singing the words 'cause the Mistings gonna burn, burn, burn, burn and I was having a moment of complete, unabashed lack of self-awareness after that. You just made my day~

If you knew they were coming,

would you still bother waking up?

46 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

*discards the cookies approach and just plainly stabs @Starla with a lengthy piece of metal*

What? Why are you looking like that at me? We all know newcomers are just a source of new spikes, right?

You might have started a new tradition here... *I feel bad for the future generation of would-be sharders*

Hi @Starla! And welcome to the Shard - oh, and, I apologize for the spike sticking out of you.

You have magically become an expert in making palindromes.

Also, the Nightwatcher applauds you for your responsible use of her powers in settling the wish dispute - and also the savage burns you have inflicted to your fellow sharders in the process.

So she takes it easy on you. Your bane is that you now think that the latest Fantastic Four movie was awesome - and your friends are undoubtedly judging you for your poor taste in movies

I wish for a statue of myself to magically appear somewhere in New Zealand.

19 minutes ago, Weltall said:

We're not supposed to talk about the prose version. That said, the excerpt published in Arcanum Unbounded contains material relevant to your question so it's okay to point you to that as it's publicly available. The Sand Masters consider it part of their craft and its ultimate art but it's noted to be 'wildly different' from their other powers. If Praxton's comment can be taken as accurate, almost everyone of mastrell rank can slatrify.

Oh shoot I forgot about that rule. Thanks for flagging me down here. Anyway that little bit about slatrification being 'wildly different' from the rest of their powers is helpful enough for my theories I guess. Oh and slatter sounds like a plausible origin for the word slatrify which is cool too. Thanks @Weltall!