Laughing Fool

Hi guys, I'm here to facilitate the divorce of the individual from the Herd by refuting how the Herd defines friendship and love. Hit me up.

I'm curious to hear how you ponies define friendship.

I'm gonna go ahead and throw Newcago Court a freebie and defend them against the pony incursion.

...because the friendship those ponies represent is superficial and false!

Laughing Fool walks directly to the center of the Courts of Chaos and poops on the floor, hoping to provoke a reaction.

I invoke Rule 2 of the Observer's Guild handbook.

I now hereby call a vote of the Observer's Guild, to expell the invading equine horde. All in favor say Ay. All against say Neigh, and be forever known as turncloaks.

Needs moar upvotes.

Did someone say ponies? Don't make me laugh.

This seems more like the Lords of Complacency guild. Does anyone actually do anything here?

You didn't believe hard enough.

I have long been conflicted about the whole Eugenics thing. It does make a certain sort of intellectual sense - in any society there will be a percentage of the population who contributes nothing. They leech the resources of social programs intended to help people who need short term assistance. They commit crimes and are a stain on society. Why not get rid of these people?

The biggest problem, I think, is that a person's value is derived from far more than their score on an intelligence test.

Take myself, for example. I would be worried if such a mandate were passed where I live. If they set the bar high enough, I would be required to kill myself. But I am an outstanding citizen. I'm a veteran, active in my community; I'm a husband and a father. I contribute value to my community.

How would I match up against a genius; a truly remarkably brilliant man, but one who has murdered twenty seven women and used their skin as upholstery? Or what about a woman who drowned her children, but who also had a doctorate in medicine and healed thousands of people?

Who is more valuable to society; a man of moral character who eschewed higher education in favor of service in law enforcement or a woman who's research has led to sustainable energy, but who kidnaps children that remind her of her deceased baby?

If there are going to be exterminations going on, it should at least be done on an individual basis.

I've got something sweet for you guys in the works. I've found and walked the Logrus; I'm willing to lead anyone who wants to there so that they might walk it as well.

I just read The Lightning Tree from GRRM's Rouges anthology. Bast centric Short story. It's excellent. Evey one go read it so we can discuss!

I haven't finished reading it just yet...

...but the part where Bast convinces Kvothe to accept Crazy Martin's liquor as payment, and Bast says, "Ask for five or six boxes. It's getting cold at night. Winter's coming." And Kvothe responded with, "I'm sure Martin will be flattered." made me laugh out loud.

There is no way that was a coincidence; it's clearly a nod to GRRM.

I hate anthologies. I'm usually only interested in one or two of the stories, and I loathe paying like $40 for the one short story I'm interested in.

Much appreciated, Breath.

The Fool takes an enormous, gasping breath.

"I concede. My contract called for a duel, not an assassination. I underestimated my opponent."

Laughing Fool stares at BreathTaker pointedly and begins blinking a pattern.

Laughing Fool's attention waivers for just a moment as he looses his footing on the slick ice. Before he can completely regain his balance and begin to maneuver, the very moisture in the air surrounding him flash freezes, trapping him. He struggles to move within the ice but finds himself unable.

I did not anticipate this, he thinks to himself. What to do? All of my attacks focus on deft maneuvering, clever tricks, and blood magic. If I can't even draw a drop of her blood to finish the runes on my blade...

Trapped and unable to move, Laughing Fool can do nothing but wait and hope those snow creatures are mindless enough to attack him at their queens orders and shatter the ice binding him.

Queen Elsa stands from her throne. "You sir, have just made the worst decision of your life!"

She draws her own sword that has a ice blade and a golden handle. Queen Elsa moves to the left of her throne and makes a giant snow and ice monster, one that its head nearly touches the ceiling. She moves to the right and makes another one. "Never challenge a ice queen."

She runs behind the throne and puts on her steel armour. Queen Elsa stands in front of the throne between the two monsters, just in front of her throne.

The Fool deftly applies a thick oil across the length of his blade, then draws it sharply across the length of his gauntlet causing it to ignite. He smiles.

"It is nothing personal, Queen Elsa. Merely a contract. I don't doubt that, in the future, I'll be in your employ."

Laughing Fool takes a long draught of a harsh smelling bourbon. Cautiously approaching the first ice monster, he spits it through the flame on his blade, creating a large fireball that engulfs the first monster.

"I hope these creatures are not valuable to you; I merely wish to duel you, not destroy your possessions."

I think there is WoB that says Rosharan wine is made from fermented fruit, but not grapes. On Earth it wouldn't technically be called wine. That's about all I know.

"Laughing fool, as one of the Twinthrone's Frostknights I can not allow ye to duel my queen," BT drew his black broadsword in one hand and summoned his frostblade in the other, a layer of frost formed around him and solidified in to a set of plate armor, "If you want a duel, I've got one for you. LEFTY!! My soulcast beer drinking table if you would be so kind." BT looked at the queen, "Any flavor you could possibly imagine Queen Elsa, I will gladly retrieve for you as soon as I'm done with the Frostbitten joke."

BreathTaker stared at the Fool, his normally black/brown eyes glowing an icy blue with frost around the sockets, "Now, you horse faced son of a mare, pick your weapon. Sword, Brew, or slap fight? I am prepared for anything you choose,"

(Btw, I'm just playing the part. Just as I've been playing the super nice drunk, I rarely get the opportunity to drink in real life and I can't remember the last time I got drunk ((pun absolutely intended)))

Laughing Fool distractedly glances at BreathTaker.

"My quarrel is not with you, friend. I would prefer to avoid conflict between us, if possible."

The Fool draws a long, thin blade. Light plays along its edge like sunrise reflecting off an arctic lake. He takes a stance, movements flowing like quicksilver. He calmly draws the blade across his arm, letting the blood pool before he paints a foreign design across the length of the blade.

"Half of combat is psychological," the Fool declares with a giggle. "The other half is talent."

Without warning, Laughing Fool lunges abruptly at BreathTaker, striking violently and aggressively. Just as abruptly, he feints and rolls backwards, positioning himself so that Elsa Steelheart stands between himself and BreathTaker. He raises his sword menacingly. The bloodrunes on his blade begin to glow faintly.

"Queen of the Newcago Court; defend yourself," the Fool declares in a emotionless, detached voice. All levity and humor has vanished from his demeanour.

Elsa Steelheart, I formally challenge you to a duel.

What is a starf?

He meant "fart" and was dreaming of Elsa Steelfart.

...yes, that sounds right. He awoke with a fart.

It would a lot to know what the novel is about. The magic system should compliment the plot in some way rather than exist independently of it.

Here is your biggest obstacle: just about everything you can think of has already been done. Commands to control objects and elements? It sounds a lot like Awakening from Warbreaker or True Naming from various other books. What you need is a novel way to use or portray the magic.

Maybe introduce willpower. Some magic users use such a force of will behind their commands that it literally burns a small portion of their life force. Maybe someone can command a mountain to crumble, but doing so would burn twenty years or their life away. Commanding a small rock to crumble might burn a few minutes. Something along those lines would be interesting because the cost of the magic is so dire; at least, for larger commands it is. Picture this: two magic users attempting to manipulate the same object for different purposes - it would come down to whoever was willing/able to burn more of their life force gains control.

Maybe commands are learned through vigorous study - and once a command is used, all knowledge of it is erased from your memory and must be relearned. That would be interesting because then the trick is to be wise in your use of whatever commands you've learned.

Maybe commands are granted through pacts with deities or demons; the more control you exert over whatever element you were granted mastery over in your pact, the more control the deities or demons involved gain over you. Overuse the magic and they'll control you completely.

You could have karma be a literal force of nature. Use commands to cause great suffering and great suffering will come your way personally. Maybe some deity or demon or organisation has inverted this karma force - cause suffering and receive good fortune. That would make those who use their commands for the good of others honored martyrs.

It really comes down to Sanderson's Laws of Magic. Just food for thought.

I thought you only ate Fruit Roll-ups?

And hearts and brains.

...I do enjoy cooking, though. And I dont enforce my diet on those whom I cook for. So, yeah. Himalayan rock salt slab. Try it.

I'll bring my slab of Himalayan rock salt. It's fantastic. Slowly heat it up until it's scaling hot, then sear your yak meat steaks on it. Prepare for a whole new level of deliciousness.

Oh, I'm not contracted to a member named Good Naturedly - good naturedly is the manner in which I've been contracted to insult. Just wanted that to be clear so people realized I was RPing and not just being a jerk.