TheDarkDesperado

Granted, but you have a rabid beaver attached to your e-reader that appears on any copy you try to read. I wish my backpack would stop hurting my shoulders, or any other body part.

Granted, you have a million men in Milwaukee Bucks uniforms, and they seem pretty annoyed. I wish I had a JJ Watt jersey.

That's barely a curse, that's actually more of a boon. Granted, you forget the taste soon afterwards and can never taste another for the rest of your days (and nights). I wish to see the world upside down.

Granted, but with an amount of downvotes equal to the amount of upvotes. I wish for a backscratcher.

Aw, that's so nice of you to say.

Granted, but you lose the ability to make Monty Python references. I wish for two more wishes.

Granted, but everyone wants to steal it from you, even friends and family. I wish for a Tic Tac.

I'd use "Confuse my enemies" Versatile, and the use of 'my' would likely make it useless to anyone else. Besides, confusing people isn't something you would expect a sword to do, so it'd be easy to do.

Okay, now we have to ask if Vamah is the reason Helaran was there (Reclaiming lands for their rightfully owner as they see it), or if his involvement is coincidental in which case we're back to whether Kaladin or Amaram is the target. I feel that Amaram would be the target in which case justice for his crimes (likely many), or taking out a member of a rival faction could be the motive. The Diagram mentioned knowledge of Kaladin to a degree (in WoR in the chapter where he takes the 3rd Oath they mention that they needed to separate him from Dalinar), but even if that was in the original Diagram it's unlikely they knew specifically about Kaladin, Mr. T would have been smart not omniscient, so The Skybreakers knowing would be a stretch. If they did know, they could be targeting him to remove a powerful peace from the board, they seem less likely to the manipulation of the other factions so killing him would be the only option. The other reason could be to mess with The Diagram, giving them an edge in the multi-faction conflict. I could be wrong on a few counts, it's been a while since I've read WoK and WoR, I'm about to reread WoK, so I'll post anything I find. Also, feel free to tell me anything to look out for that I may have missed.

græntəd, hɑwɛvər jɔr mɛməri ɪz tɛrəbəl əðərwɑjz. aj wɪʃ ðæt ðɪs post kawntəd æz tu ɪn rɪgɑrdz tu maj læst kərs. (translated: Granted, however your memory is terrible otherwise. I wish this post counted as two in regards to my last curse.)

Someone keep this in mind for the next time they're at a Q&A, would love to see Mr. Sanderson's reaction.

Granted, but any time you try to read or listen to it all you hear/see is nonsense. I wish that the next post was written backwards.

Granted, but they are written in a code that will take the time it would have taken for them to be released to break. I wish I WAS Hoid.

Granted, but you have nothing to play the music on. I wish I knew what was up with Hoid.

Granted, with no curse because the Nightwatcher hates spam. I wish for the perfect collection of gifs to use on twitter for jokes and whatnot.

Granted, you know everything, but you are mute and quadriplegic. I wish for an apple.

Granted, but after a month all your loved ones turn evil and burn down your supplies leaving you for dead. I wish I could dance better.

Granted, (You are evil) Granted, but you share both the curses I wish my most hated enemy would suffer in my (now 2) curse(s) as well.

Granted, however you lose the ability to distinguish between metals by any means and all your enemies know your boon and curse. I wish I had the ability to foresee the curses of other people's wishes and help them game the system.

I'd go Coinshot, could come up with a few ways to use that unexpectedly, particularly in short range/hand to hand combat, subvert expectations and be a Coinshot/BJJ fighter hard to avoid a coin at close range.

Granted, however you cannot play it nor can you view video footage of it. I wish to be Odium's new shardholder, but more powerful and smarter.

In short this is something we could use some WoB on, to tell the truth I didn't catch this until it was pointed out to me, just kinda slipped my mind.

OH! OH! Someone needs to do Sandersoned pro wrestling themes. I'll try to come up with some that'll be easy to adapt.

Just wanted to bop in and introduce myself, I am TheDarkDesperado, I'm mostly here for The Stormlight Archive stuff but will read some more Sanderson books soon.

Those predictions sound like the best/worse crack fic ever.