TwiLyghtSansSparkles

Seriously? That's the first thing I'd think of with his powers. No—second. The first would be to go back to that one red light with the camera and see if I really did run a red light a few weeks back in hopes of figuring out when I can expect that stupid ticket. More important than more "serious" lorists realize. (And no, autocorrect, I did not mean to type "lariats" when I said "lorists.")

"Yeeeaaaaah, I think we should go now. Nice, um, greenness, David."

Actually, Backtrack can show others what he's seeing if he touches them. Kind of like Griff from Men in Black III. So Nathan would be able to see one of William Hartnell's lost episodes after all.

Oh! You know how he could become Nathan's best friend forever with one sentence? "If I went to the right place, and I looked back to just the right moment, I could watch one of the lost episodes of Doctor Who."

The green skin would definitely add a new dynamic to his relationship with Megan.

I'm torn between suggesting he befriend Nathan, as having a friend who shares his love of old sci-fi would make him less pathetic….and between somewhat enjoying his suffering.

Poor Backtrack. Losing his one true love.

Backtrack as part of a love triangle. You know….he's wimpy enough to be the "friend she's known since childhood and is only mildly attracted to when the author points out his attractive features," but….I'm just not seeing the romance angle. Unless…. Yeah, wrong kind of love triangle.

Ever since Calamity rose, Autumn Glass has learned to defuse situations. A few words, spoken in the right tone of voice, can halt a crisis before it begins—and save countless lives before they're even placed in danger. But now she finds herself tossed into a situation she isn't prepared for—one she can't talk her way out of. Not without breaking an Epic's heart. As the panda army threatens to overtake The Dalles, and Backtrack's weeping threatens to drive everyone insane, Autumn must use her words in a different way. Can her heart survive…. AN EXPLOSION OF SPARKLY LOVE? Granted, the title needs work. But I think this could make a fantastic romance novel, how about you?

Let's see. It began with Shiny Sparkle teleporting over in the middle of a panda invasion, escalated when Shiny Sparkle stole Backtrack's glasses and gave them to Autumn, continued with some flirting, and really got underway with them teleporting to the doctor's office with Backtrack looking as though he's about to cry. I think the only way this could improve is if the sight of them made Nighthound keel over dead for no apparent reason.

This would have made his and Megan's reunion scene a bit more surreal, as when he said "You're like a potato!" a potato would have appeared in his hand for comparison purposes. Of course, things wouldn't get really interesting until he brought up the minefield….

His reign of terror won't last forever.

"I actually logged off because Quota has a stranglehold on my account." "Quota?" "The upvote quota. He's also an Epic who likes to push people to suicidal despair while drinking lattes." "…."

Why not write her a poem?

The power to actualize his bad similes? For instance, when he compares using the tensors to "an off-kilter washing machine filled with a hundred epileptic chimpanzees," an off-kilter washing machine filled with a hundred epileptic chimpanzees would appear beside him. Similarly, if he said something would be "more useless than a bagful of snakes at a dance competition," the nearest dance competition would be visited by a bagful of snakes. I'm….not sure how useful this power would be, honestly.

If you want.

That's fine. Did you want me to PM Lightsworn with the questions?

Flashpoint Revolution Altermind Revolution Nightmare Revolution (THIS IS SO COOL YOU CAN'T NOT DO IT) Forrest Revolution Summoner Revolution Smoky Revolution And that's just some of the Epics in Thoughttown! Last I heard, he was in China, unable to get his hands on a copy of Firefight in English.

Oooohhh, we could put all of the sparkly Epics in it. So she'd have Shiny Sparkle, Glamour, um….Quicksilver? Since metal is shiny? No? Yeah, having a gleeful murderer in the harem would sort of wreck the whole dynamic. I was hoping someone would catch that.

She's not serious. At the moment, that was the only thought keeping Autumn from twisting free of the Epic's arms, never mind the consequences. Unlikely as it was, she clung to it, repeating it to herself with the same fervor a cartoon fish had told herself to 'just keep swimming.' She's not serious. She's just trying to catch me off-guard. The date? That's just to get more information out of me. She's not really serious. “Autumn." She could hear the smile in her tone. "Being so cute really isn´t fair. My name is Shiny Sparkle, the lovesick goddess of glasses and explosions.” Oh no. She's serious, isn't she? “Anyway, yes I want to join you but only you, not the whole town. I also want to see you smile, hug you, tickle you, go on a date with you, compliment you, kiss you…” Now she was looking into those colored glasses of hers. If Autumn wasn't mistaken, even Shiny Sparkle's eyes were glittering. Literally. “You know the whole couple stuff but I guess I´ll have to earn that first. Don´t worry I´m not only persistent but also more patient than I appear.” She stopped rubbing her cheek against Autumn's long enough to blow in her ear. She's serious. “Now, I´m only telling you this because it´s you but there´s a limit to how much I can teleport, so if you want me to bring Backtrack to a Doctor, then that´s just us three and after we drop Backtrack off we two will get to spend some time alone, if we move again. Don´t worry, I´ll take good care of you.” Autumn's mind whirred with potential replies. "I'm sure you will, but I have a boyfriend." An outright lie. Autumn dismissed it. "I'm sorry, but City Guard Ordinance A113 clearly states that a member of the City Guard cannot date an Epic, as the danger of said City Guardsman's head being exploded is far too great." Another lie, though more enticing than the last. "Augh! No! Leave room for Jesus!" No. She was not saying that. Just the thought of it brought memories of her middle school dance, of perhaps the oldest woman in the church prying twelve-year-olds apart and forcing them to dance at arm's length, flooding back. That left her only one option. "Waters, McKenzie, escort the twins to the nearest command station. Shiny Sparkle and I will take Backtrack to have his arm looked at." Come on, Autumn, she's serious, act like you are. "And then it's just the two of us."

Oh, no, you didn't sound harsh. This is a pretty squicky thing to consider, and although it's definitely within the realm of possibility, I sort of hate my brain for thinking of it. At this point, I'm leaning against incorporating it into her backstory directly. There's already a good bit of darkness in it, so adding in another layer of horror might be laying it on too thick. And, like I said before, I'm really not sure I want to go there. ….unless, of course, "there" is the place where they sell adorable costumes for Protector Pug. If we're casting votes for the next harem, I vote it belongs to Big Al.

Sorry. Would a large group of pug puppies help?

Oh, no, I'm not taking this lightly at all. The Unfortunate Implications in David's confirmation of the fact that some attractive vanillas did date Newcago Epics could make for a book all on their own. A rather disturbing book. If I did add it in, I would definitely not play it for laughs, as I would have done with Doctor Funtimes' League of Evil Exes. The power imbalance between Funtimes/Heracles was virtually nonexistent; the power imbalance between Jade/Heracles is enormous, and not funny at all. Like I said, I'm still trying to decide whether or not to include it. The probability of it happening is definitely greater than zero. If we factor in her engineering expertise, it means she would most likely be courted by male Epics who rely partly on gadgetry, leading to a scenario where they give her access to better materials and education in exchange for protection and the "prestige" of dating Super Hotman or whoever. The biggest reason why I would not include it is because, at this time, she would still be a teenager. So, yeah, I'm not entirely sure I want to go there.

I once subjected everyone in this game to a Lighthound fic so horrifying everyone who read it immediately wanted to gouge their own eyes out. (I mean, it was just a kiss, but in retrospect the thought of those two kissing is pretty awful.)

Not all at once. And I'm still toying with the idea, weighing the pros and cons, but I do know that Super Hotman will definitely be a part of her backstory.