TwiLyghtSansSparkles

So if Doctor Funtimes met Pinkie Pie, would we have world peace or would the universe implode?

I just realized: Nokia phones. Remember those? They were nigh indestructable. Drop it off a moving car, and it'll break the ground. You'll be playing that snake game right after you pick it up. What do you want to bet that after Calamity, there was at least one Epic named Nokia?

I know, I know, we've been falling behind.

Can I buy it off you with a tidbit/request for advice about Funtimes' backstory?

But...but I already know them! Unless you adopted a bunch of Voidus' random Epics and refused to tell me their weaknesses....but c'mon, who DOES that?

It's not often you get to witness a black market being born. I'm not sure whether knowing everyone's weaknesses makes me wealthy...or just keeps me from getting in on the fun.

Agreed. Though here's hoping it won't be a fruit that sets it off.

He doesn't like to talk about the time he won an entire bag of banana-flavored Laffy Taffy in a raffle. On a more serious note: How long before Calamity are we talking? It was established that Megan and Sourcefield had their fears long before Calamity rose, but David didn't realize his fear of water until he arrived in Babilar—thirteen years after Calamity. Now, it was also established that Prof developed his powers extremely early—well before most other Epics—but if his fear of uncertainty, say, was exacerbated by the mysterious red star that appeared shortly before he got his powers, it could be a clue. Not that his weakness is Calamity himself, but it could be a hint as to his real fear. I know I'm grasping at straws here, but still.

If I hadn't made his pony myself, I would've mistaken him for Obliteration.

O.O No. Just…no. There has to be a rule about using such overpowered characters as your profile pic. I….I can't look at him too long. I…. …. SPARE ME, O MIGHTY ONE!

Her knowledge of how to match shoes and socks is extensive. She simply rejects your reality of matching footwear and substitutes her own. Um….Mistwraith? Or, if you'd rather not, you could always make a self-insert pony like Kobold and I did.

*sigh* Fine. Might as well end the apocalypse early.

We'd produce effective countermeasures. And lovely countertops, which we could sell for a profit.

Fortunately for everyone except Altermind, that was the day he took Voidgaze along as a bodyguard. She dove toward the Oreos, immediately directing her attention toward an extremely focused search for the rest of the box. Altermind's pleas for her to "deal with the problem" were answered with "I am, help me look!" and his insults fell on deaf ears. Sadly, Prof took the story of their success as a fluke. Kobold and Twi's cell's recommendation that all Reckoners carry snack foods on their person from then on was rejected by a leader who called the suggestion "idiotic" and "something a four-year-old would come up with." Jonathan Phaedrus later endured a sound beating at the hands of Princess Lettuce, whose weakness happened to be deep-fried Twinkies.

"TwiLyght, quick! What's Altermind's weakness?" "I….uh…." "You said you had it in your notes! Where are your notes?" "…in my basement? Under the Oreos?" "You were eating Oreos and forgot about it?" "Hey, at least no Epic would ever look under the Oreos!"

Exactly.

In the interest of fairness, I'd be willing to tell you her new weakness for a picture of a pug puppy. Since when was one of your evil plans a failure?

As most world leaders have.

Salting fields? Why would I do that? Everyone knows that the only spice to eat with a well-boiled field is a pinch of dried tarragon. ….er, continue without fear of redaction/banishment/fields sprinkled with inappropriate seasonings.

I accept your charity. O.O IT'S HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ AS AN EPIC

The reason they're called turnips is because everyone "turns up" their noses at them. *rimshot* ….I'll see myself out. Speaking of weaknesses, I wrote this one right here as a purposely ridiculous example of a terrible weakness. But now, having read Firefight, I kind of want to see an Epic who fears this scenario more than he fears anything else.