TwiLyghtSansSparkles

I don't recall there being an Epic named Malevolence anywhere, so if it was mentioned, it was just a passing note. Go ahead and take the name.

Lucky! I introduced my family to the Reckoners books after reading Steelheart, and my sister got me Firefight for my birthday, but I'm the only one who really enjoys geeking out about books. And I'm also the only one in my family who's read anything else by Sanderson, so….when I'm in a mood to geek out, this is where I go.

Mine would've been a lot less elaborate. Upvote.

Almost a week, then? It may not be pleasant, but at least it'll be doable. You can count down the days that way—which is definitely what I'd do. Still, it sounds like your summer's being hijacked, and that can't be fun.

Yikes. That sucks. How long does scout camp last?

(We really need an "Annexed by Oregon" graphic, don't we? ) Edit: HaHA! I asked a question! Back on topic!

This is my theory and I'm sticking to it. No, not that kind of Rosemary. What kind of a kitchen do you think I'm running here? (I read a grand total of one Pern story when I was growing up, but I really enjoyed it. The only other major dragon-based work I recall was a PBS show called Dragon Tales, which was made for kids far younger than I was when it came out. Though it did have some interesting worldbuilding details—like the way every dragon would undergo a physical change if frightened (one shrank and one turned invisible)—the writers always focused more on trivial things like "friendship" and "teamwork" and "overcoming sibling rivalry." )

You design the saddles and harnesses, I'll grill them some chicken. (If they are, I think they're fire breathing lizard-kittens with sophisticated palates. So I think they'll appreciate a blend of rosemary, garlic, and olive oil. That's how dragons work, right?)

Want to be Weirdness Buddies if something really, really strange happens? I for one would embrace the weird rather than run from it.

Well, since everything besides pork and steak tastes like chicken, I'll just stick with that. (I'm kidding. I actually love sushi, and while seafood isn't generally my thing, I'll try just about anything once.)

Huh. That song makes them sound more like the Sea-Mafia. La Familia de Oceana, if you will.

Please. The sea ponies are so magical they can sing underwater. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say they'd just happen to know all of their weaknesses and just happen to be capable of setting them off.

Although I'm sure we're all thinking of the same Epic, I can't think of a single ATTD Epic who wouldn't benefit from a meeting with the sea ponies.

THE NEW MLP EPISODE, GUYS I'M THREE MINUTES IN AND IT'S SO AMAZING I CAN'T TURN OFF MY CAPSLOCK KEY DJFIDSHFIDJFUIEYSTUIEHDUIGDXUFHDIFHDFJDLK

As can I. But why stop with Nighthound? Why not call upon the Sea Ponies to take care of every Epic on the ATTD List we can think of?

It might be more economical to call upon whatever force made Applejack unable to remember how to swim.

I don't. I don't eat burned cookies and that's that. To be honest, I haven't done a lot of cooking with either. I'm allergic to additives, but not gluten, so I just use wheat flour. (Though I do not understand my mom's insistence on putting whole-wheat flour into everything that doesn't contain chocolate. It's a good bit sweeter than white flour, and while it's definitely healthier, it's probably not the best choice for pizza dough.) I've had muffins with rice flour before, though, so I know the consistency is pretty similar to wheat flour. Edit: What did it taste like, Lark?

I think it's more horrifying if the majority of details are left to the reader's imagination. (The only stipulation here is that I'd like to keep it within the realm of possibility. Because I have no earthly idea what it would take to redeem Nighthound, but I'm pretty sure it's more effort than the world is capable of exerting. )

…. Should I be mildly insulted by the way you're calling me weak for not wanting to eat food that's burned beyond recognition (when slicing into a steak produces a sound like "vooba vooba vooba," you cooked it too long), or flattered that you think my cookie dough looked so delicious you'd eat the burned cookies? Kobold, if you ever come by, I'll make cookies with rice flour or something. Just….not burned ones.

No, I didn't. I make a habit of not eating things that are "blackened" with something other than spices.

Well, part of it is the personality I mentioned. Two pugs can be as different in personality as two people, making their interactions together hilarious. They're also the most expressive dogs I've ever met. Just watch this pug getting scolded. Or this pug giving his opinion on different foods. And they're so curious about the world around them, as is demonstrated by this pug meeting a duck. I could go on this way for a while, finding different videos that demonstrate how amazing pugs are, but really, the best answer I can give you is that they just are. They're just awesome, loyal, sweet, caring, rambunctious, surprisingly smart little dogs, and I love them all.

And there we go. I wasn't sure what sort of incident would cause a crippling fear of avocados, so I made one up.

Deathwish isn't the only Epic who gets to face his fears outside of canon…. The avocado was laughing at him. It wasn't actually laughing. It didn't even seem to be. Arsenal knew he wasn't nearly at the point of hunger-induced hallucinations. But that stupid green monstrosity taunted him all the same. Vondra, of course, was behind this. He knew what he was doing from the moment Arsenal seized control of the city to the moment he tossed him into this wretched cell, and he did it while brandishing an avocado the entire time. He'd armed every vanilla soldier in town with those things. The one thing, the one thing that could bring him down, and he'd used it. "We had a deal!" Arsenal wanted to shout that while pounding at the Plexiglas, but the avocados formed a ring around him, like something from a hideous Satanic ritual, and he couldn't step outside of it. Not without remembering…. Arsenal shuddered, curling into a ball. He wouldn't remember. He didn't want to remember. Avocados. Laughter. That horrible, horrible whale costume. His stomach rumbled, bringing him to the present and rescuing him from the brink of tears. He glared at the ceiling. He didn't know if Vondra had finally added cameras to this place, but he wouldn't be caught in a moment of weakness. Even with his weakness surrounding him. No, he was stronger than this. Better than this. How could he let some slimy half-fruit half-vegetable Frankenfood stand in his way? Because they're horrifying? Letting loose a small growl, Arsenal seized an avocado from the floor and—never breaking eye contact with the camera that may or may not have been there—he raised a bitten-off fingernail to the skin. Michael Buble playing over the school loudspeakers. He ran a trembling thumb down the length of the fruit. That whale costume, avocados as its crown. He tore the skin free. He couldn't do this. He shoved the avocado into his mouth. It tasted as he knew it would—too mild, too nutty, too slimy. Like eating shame. He cringed, chewing, swallowing, the taste, the awful taste, bringing even more awful memories. And something else. For the first time since that impossible star chose him, Arsenal felt his mind clear. Like clouds rolling back with the wind, allowing sunlight through. "What the hell?" he asked around his second bite. "Why was I being so evil?"

Quick question: which is funnier—redeemed!Deathwish vs. corrupted!Arsenal, or redeemed!Arsenal vs. corrupted!Deathwish? Or do we need a WHOOC to see?

"Hello there, I had a question, and instead of asking it directly, I think I'll tell you all the reasons why I want it answered and why I came up with it in the first place, none of which are relevant to you answering it." Great. While you were doing that, I missed two other calls. Please get to the point already.