Seonid

Oh. It was definitely horrifying. No doubt about that. And it was meant to be. I was just afraid that people were reading more horror than was actually there. There was more than enough moral despicableness in that post without bringing in the murder of small children. I'll leave that to Koschei.

Reading back through the responses here, and through my post, I realized that I wasn't clear on something. Ghostknife (which is the Epic name of Linda Mayes) is consistently described as a "girl," "little girl," or "short girl." I think that some people got the impression that she is younger than she was. Ghostknife/Linda is about 16, and is about 5' nothing, and weighs about 100 pounds. Maybe 110. So she's young enough for the 35-year old Paladin to describe as a little girl, but she's not a young child. Just clearing that up.

I actually have a developing fantasy world that I've been working on for a decade or so. I'd be willing to GM an RP like this, if all y'all are interested in doing this. Is this something people are interested in?

Thanks. I guess that the operative idea behind the assassination would be to present Lightwards with an already dead body (while Funtimes was away). Could he resist raising it as a Warrior? Someone who had repeatedly defied him and was now lying there coincidentally dead? And Funtimes returning to find her friend raised as a Warrior...well, the idea is that she would exact revenge on Lightwards for having her friend as a Warrior. After she found out that someone else had killed the friend, I agree. She'd definitely hunt them down. But the point of the idea was for her to find her friend already made a Warrior. It still might not work, but I hope that that is a clearer explanation of what they would be trying to do.

Were Paladin to appear in Portland, he would definitely see either Lightwards or Altermind as the primary target for personal reasons, as they both seem dangerously close to attempting to enforce worship or a similarly equivalent ideal (Thoughttown would definitely trigger Paladin's cult-phobia). During his more lucid moments, however, tactical considerations would outweigh those personal preferences. As far as how much effort he would be willing to invest into taking him down, well, once Team Paladin commits to "cleansing" a city, they are in it for the long haul. This would be Team Paladin's approach if they were to commit to "cleansing" Portland, and had decided on the Empire of Light as their first target. Firstly, he would note an impending war with Corpsemaker, and would wait until the dust had settled out of that conflict. During the Corpsemaker war, He would likely task Ranger with infiltrating the battlefield and eliminating as many minor Epics as he could from all sides during the chaos, to result in a seriously weakened victor, regardless. If he was able to get intel on Quota, he would be a primary target (although not until Upgraded epics had managed to wreak havoc on the assaulting forces.) At this point, tactics might differ greatly based on Paladin's mental state. If this, is Dark!Paladin calling the shots, Ranger would be tasked with targeting minor Epics belonging to whichever side was currently on top, hoping to prolong the conflict and end up with fewer powerful Epics to face later. If it were NotSoDark!Paladin, Ranger would be told to eliminate the Epics that were causing the most collateral damage, in order to protect the civilians caught in the crossfire as best they could. (There really is a core of goodness in there that is just having a really hard time getting through. The next post will be from Paladin's perspective, and we'll get hints of the war between his conscience and Calamity's taint). After that, the next point would depend on how weakened the Empire was. If it seems weak enough, then he might move immediately on to the final stage (see below). If not, then he would start by trying to increase tensions between the Empire and Thoughttown, Kelsier-style. You know, knives(or crystal katanas/crossbows/sniper rifles/arrows/insert appropriate weapons here) in the mist, bodies left in convenient locations to arouse suspicion. During this phase, Ranger would be actively gathering as much information as possible about the various Epics in both the Empire and Thoughttown. The MEE would probably be left alone for a a while. They wouldn't register on Paladin's threat radar, although he might attempt an infiltration of them to move them towards a (second) attack on the MoNA. Anything to whittle down the Empire's forces. Also during this phase, he and Guardian would be focusing a great deal of their attentions on isolating and eliminating key players from the Empire. (They would likely not actively target Traveler, because of his (perceived) ability to teleport away, but they would take attacks of opportunity against him if the opportunity arose. Nighthound would be a key target, though, as would Aldo and Funtimes. This might last until they realized that Funtimes is just as elusive as Traveler.) This would take the form of stalking and attacking them while they are on their own, where the combined force of Paladin and Guardian could probably overcome them. Nighthound would be a tricky obstacle, but enough exploding sword swings to the face and even he'll go down. And the precog might just give them enough of an edge to get them in. It would be dicey though. Guardian would be the weak spot there. Final note on this phase: if they manage to get the intel that there is a growing rift between Lightwards and Funtimes, and even more that she is protecting several of the vanillas, they might try to enlarge that rift, too. NotSoDark!Paladin would not go so far as to order an assassination hit on Sam or Remington, but Dark!Paladin certainly would, and would attempt to blame it on Lightwards. UNLESS - Paladin knew about Remington's history killing Koschei. He would then likely assume that Remington was infiltrating the Empire in order to bring it down. He would do his best to get into contact and offer assistance in toppling Lightwards and all of his supporters. If Remington accepted, this would get them on the Nathan/Funtimes team, and would fundamentally alter the details of the strategy. The Funtimes cadre would then become on their side during the final phase, with all of the attendant ramifications. Finally, after several of the more powerful Epics had been eliminated, would come the final stage: the assault on the Museum of Natural Awesomeness. I'm afraid that the vanillas inside would likely go down as collateral damage, being seen as sympathizers or even supporters of the Empire. (Unless the Remington plan was adopted. See above) The most tricky part would be eliminating Lightwards himself. If they came from The Dalles, and had interacted with Backtrack enough to know any of his story, at some point there would have been a trip back to grab him and go back to the spot where Mobius had killed Lightwards, to try and track down his weakness. If not, then we might see a whack-a-mole game with Lightwards. Or sedative arrows and taking him prisoner after destroying all of his Warriors. That could work too. Or both. This is, of course, assuming all goes to plan. It never does, as their assassination attempt in Madras makes clear. I'm pretty sure that I count as a monster after my last post. [EDIT:] for spelling and getting the spoiler in the right place.

Oh, yeah! That would be a rather good thing to do. I'll add Ghostknife's too, because she's going to become a regular character before too long.

The idiom - "He/she/it doesn't kill so easily" is used to mean "He/she/it is harder to kill than what you thought would be effective." But you have a point. It's a rather archaic phrasing, and I probably should have used the more standard grammar. Thanks for pointing out the potential confusion. I'll edit.

I think what he is saying is that the portions of the post that were from Guardian's viewpoint made him appreciate Guardian more as a character. And to answer the question, Paladin attempted (we will find out soon that Ghostknife doesn't die so easily) to kill a 16-year old girl. In his defense (if it can be called a defense), she had been trying to kill him only seconds before, and did manage to do significant damage to him. But it was still a monstrous thing for him to do. Her viewpoint is probably the hardest thing I've ever written. I'm still not sure if I like it. It's emotionally powerful, and it underscores just how far Paladin has gone. But I fear it may have put him beyond the point of no redemption, and I'm not sure I wanted that. As far as my choice to write it...I'm not quite sure, really, if it was a good thing to do or not. I felt that it was the single most effective thing I could do, short of a mass slaughter of innocents, to show Dark!Paladin at the worst he's been yet since he became an Epic, so that the contrast after he dies (he's a resurrection Epic, so it doesn't stick) will be greater. Her brief flashback also brought out Ironmonger as a despicable human being, even for an Epic, which will be foreshadowing for when Ironmonger starts to play a role in the plot here. He's somebody that I hope Vondra and Quicksilver might be willing to consider allying temporarily to defeat. But that will be up their characters to decide how they react to the threat.

Guardian paced the hallway of the dilapidated two-bedroom apartment. It was exactly 18 steps long, terminating in a closet, three doors in the left wall and a broken plate-glass window occupying the other from floor to ceiling. It had been a brand-new luxury complex, built right after Calamity rose. The mayor of Madras had partnered with several wealthy investors to try and market Madras as a luxury spot, perfectly situated to cater to the whim of any visiting Epic - for the right price, of course. That had lasted just long enough to draw the attention of several powerful Epics. The mayor and his investors had ended up dead. In Guardian's experience, that was what happened when you tangled with Epics. You ended up dead. She counted off the 18th step again, turning sharply around. Her plate mail jingled with the motion. Most Epics, that was. Not them. Because they were Epics, regardless of all of Paladin's protestations. She and Ash had had many late-night discussions on that front, and they both had accepted the inevitable. She had been a scientist once, before circumstances forced her to become a fighter, and she knew that the explanation that required the least assumptions was the most likely one to be true. But at least they were different. They didn't kill people for fun, or for imagined slights, or for... Unbidden, the image of a city street in Bend rose in her mind. Firelord had fallen like a meteor, the fire of his descent igniting a quarter of the city. Paladin was standing, shouting out accusations at the crowd of panicked onlookers. His sword appeared in his hand, rising and falling... No! With an effort, she forced the memory down. 18 steps. Focus. Paladin and his vision were the only thing she had left to hang on to in this world of lost hopes and broken dreams. She'd abandoned the tattered remnants of faith what seemed like millennia ago, until Paladin had somehow managed to stoke the cold embers back to a flickering life. She still felt some days like she was standing on a razor's edge, dancing over a dark, endless fall below. Sparks! Her sense of danger spiked suddenly. As usual, her sense of time seemed to slow down. Or maybe her perception of everything else sped up. Maybe there was some way to test that, or to... There! For a moment, a wooden platform appeared in her mind. Paladin was reeling back before the assault of a little girl with a knife, closing in, stabbing at him. She pulled out her side-sword, doubts and fears replaced by the cause that had come to be her dominating, overriding purpose. Protect. She closed her visor as the apartment dissolved away in a whirlwind of light. * * * * * * * * From more than a quarter mile away, the battle between the Epics on the platform seemed surreally silent. The enemy Epic, a short girl who seemed to keep fading into a ghost-like...something...anytime a blow came close to contact, must be Ghostknife. They had heard a lot of rumors about her, but nothing concrete. Ranger was pretty sure that Paladin hadn't believed she existed at all. Just a typical piece of Epic propaganda, he'd said. They want to make the proletariat believe that they are more powerful than they really are. But then again, that was Paladin for you. He was good at what he did - very good - but he had been growing increasingly overconfident recently. Hopefully this disaster would cure him of that. There wasn't much his rifle could do against an ethereal Epic, so he began to scan the crowd, looking for any other threats. He would be willing to wager good money that in the heat of the battle, Paladin and Guardian both had forgotten that Hammer was still out there, somewhere, waiting for a weak point. A gout of flame drew his attention; apparently Torch had recovered from his crash into the crowd. That man had to die. As always, the spectre of Firelord loomed in his thoughts as he watched the Epic rise into the sky. Their informants had said that Torch's flaming body had deflected all of the bullets fired at him during Ringmaster's takeover of Madras. Ranger smiled as he found Torch in the scope of his sniper rifle. He always enjoyed a challenge. * * * * * * * * Paladin's sword dropped from his suddenly numb fingers, puffing away into mist. He'd dropped his precognition to summon his armor right before this...girl had come out of nowhere to attack him. That had been sparking bad timing on his part. And now his arm was numb and this little girl, with her knife that had somehow passed through it, skin and bones and nerves and all was pressing ever closer. He was grateful that, even without his concentration, his precognition still showed him potentially lethal attacks. Otherwise that searing cold blade might have found his heart. He tripped over a loose board, sprawling backwards. This is going to be the end. He desperately focused his concentration, reaching for his armor. A rush of exploding air announced the arrival of Guardian, a field of force pushing everything within a few feet of her away. Finally, he thought with irritation. It took you long enough. * * * * * * * * Guardian erupted on to the platform, the force field that always accompanied her teleportation pushing outward. The girl, probably the rumored Epic named Ghostknife, had been entirely focused on Paladin, trying to corner him for a kill. She was completely unprepared for Guardians attack. Still, she managed to wisp away into nothingness right as the sword would have passed through her. That's an annoying habit, right there. Paladin was on the floor, silvery armor spreading across his body. She waited, tense, her force field shimmering a few inches above her burnished plate, a slightly perceptible haze. The girl shimmered into existence to her left side, knife lashing out at her shoulder. Her hand slowed down as she encountered the force field and she pushed away in confusion. Guardian lashed her force field to her left arm, creating a shimmering shield of concentrated force. The ethereal knife caught on the edge of the shield, tip barely penetrating her shoulder plate. Interesting. It appears to pass through inanimate objects without doing damage. That's very interesting. The girl winked out again as Guardian's counterstroke slammed down. This was frustrating. She dropped her side-sword as she passed Paladin, now almost fully armored. They had practiced this before. He would use her sword until he had enough time outside of life-or-death combat to summon his own. Her job was to give him that time. She unlimbered her Zweihander, the straps that kept it in place on her back coming free as she undid them. Pain lanced through her left knee, and the leg below it instantly started tingling. Guardian fell to one knee - the good one - and swung wildly with one hand, her sword passing through empty air. Her deadened leg started to tingle again as she felt her power surge through her, reknitting together burned and severed nerve endings. Apparently that knife only harms nerves. Certainly effective at incapacitating, but difficult to score a lethal hit with. At least, until you were on the ground because you couldn't move your arms or legs. On an instinct deeper than rational thought, she turned around to see Ghostknife phasing in behind her, driving her knife towards Paladin's armored chest. She leaped towards her, watching the knife hit Paladin's armor... And stop. Ghostknife looked up, shocked that her attack had failed, even more shocked to see the fully armored form of Guardian bearing down on her. She recovered quickly, but still too late. Guardian's charge threw her aside, sending her slamming headfirst into one of the posts that supported the scaffolding on the back of the platform. * * * * * * * * Linda Mayes shook her head, trying to clear the fog. She was lying on some sort of wooden platform. In front of her, a man in shining silver armor was rising to his feet, a bright steel sword held in his left hand. Memories tumbled back into her mind. The fight. Her knife. Bubbles, bleeding on the platform. Bubbles, who had always comforted her and dried her tears after Ringmaster had... Ringmaster. His voice was in the back of her mind, cursing at her. The armed man walked towards her, like a knight in armor out of one of her childhood dreams. Her younger self would have thought that he had come to rescue her, like a princess in a tower. The older her could see her scars reflected in his eyes. He was just like the others. Fear was gnawing at her stomach. It was happening all over again. The pain, the terror. The blackness, after. She began to shake uncontrollably as panic welled up in her mind. Go. Get away. Turn ethereal! They can't touch you there. But Ringmaster could touch her mind from anywhere, and she huddled as a new wave of fear burst over her. Tears began to pour down her cheeks. The voice in the back of her mind raged at her, calling her useless, incompetent, broken. But she was too terrified to move. Just like last time. Just like with Jason, and Marty, and Ted, and Maro. Her voice whimpered in her mind as each memory seared her like a hot iron. Ringmaster, claiming her for his own, her will smothered under his cloyingly sweet voice, incapable of moving under the overwhelming domination of his mind. Ironmonger, laughing sadistically at her terror as he pulled on the manacles clamped around her wrist. Just like with her dad. She lay, shuddering, as waves of terror wracked her, curled up in a fetal ball. The shining figure, reached her, raising his sword point down above her, like some angel of the distant light. She looked up through her panicked tears. "Please." Her voice came out as a whisper, instead of the despairing scream that was burning inside of her. "No." The sword fell.

I haven't seen anything that you should be worried about on that score. As far as I'm concerned, you've been a great GM. Another question. As part of my post I'm about to put up, one character has a traumatic breakdown associated with past memories of abuse. Should I put a trigger warning up with the post? [EDIT:] And here we go! Even longer than I thought. 5 viewpoints! I decided to forgo the trigger warning. If you folks think that it might need it, I can always edit Linda's part into spoilers and put a TL:DR summary after it.

I'll take that as a vote for posting it all, then! 4 viewpoints coming right up! Their general MO is to infiltrate, acquiring all the information they can on a set of Epics (and any putative cultists), and wreck the power structure of the city. Of course, this is generally based on the fact that everywhere they've been so far has been ruled by Epics. Still working out Paladin would feel about Epics serving under a vanilla government. I don't think his worldview right now can handle it.

Alright, so I am in the process of working up a new Team Paladin post. Problem is, it's getting rather long. At what point should I bite the bullet and split it into two posts? Also, I have roughly 8 posts or so left until Team Paladin reaches The Dalles. I think it's time to start thinking (at least in general terms, because 8 posts is rather far away) about how they should interact there. Any thoughts on how to bring them in?

* is reading about other people suspecting that the chain of people reading about other people eating their salads will never be broken. EVER!!!

That's good to know. I'm still struggling how exactly to integrate Paladin into The Dalles. I'm not seeing him being ok with going through checkpoints and the like.

Thanks! I enjoy writing him. Look forward to the first Guardian viewpoint in the next post (after a few more folks post in The Dalles). I feel awkward, responding to posts 3 pages ago, but that was the last time I was on and able to post here. Speaking of ancient posts, did you ever get Paladin's response to Remington, Twi?

Arvin Weeks stopped running, out of breath. He should have known not to trust Miner. He had thought that the lure of wealth and power would be enough to buy the Epic's loyalty, but he'd been betrayed. Time to add a new entry to The Book of Rules. Never trust an Epic. Even when you think that they're under control. The horror of the yawning pit was far behind him now. And, even though it hadn't worked out like he had hoped, the unfolding battle on the stage was a perfect cover for his present operation. The city jail loomed before him. The information he sought was locked in here, under guard by an Epic called Stonekey. He checked his backpack again, making sure that all was in order. This would have to go perfectly. The old thrill began to rise. After all, he'd never really been alive unless his life was hanging on a razor's edge. With a grim smile, he opened the door. * * * * * * * * Paladin rose from the ground. His precognition showed a fourth force bubble shooting directly for his chest. This was getting tiresome. He dropped again, letting the bubble pass harmlessly overhead. The force Epic, Bubbles, stood across from him on the platform, sweat standing out on her face. She was surrounded by a cloud of images, each showing a potential human action. Her precognition showed her his actions, which in turn changed her responses, which changed what his precognition could see. Fighting precogs was sparking annoying. If he could just close the distance, maybe he could do something, but she kept firing fast enough to keep him from recovering fully. Maybe he should just be grateful that he could still see the bubbles coming with his own precognition. Once they left her hands, their temporal arc was fixed. A shot rang out. Ranger, hopefully. No shadowy bullets had passed anywhere near him, so, it probably was. He looked up to see Bubbles thrown to the platform, bleeding from a wound in her shoulder. The aluminum bullet. So it really worked. He had been half expecting the informant to be lying to them. It was a pity that he'd let Guardian convince him to leave the man alive. This whole situation was obviously a trap. They'd been expected, and the informant must have been the one to blame. A second shot took Bubbles in the lower back. She jerked, and then lay still, the cloud of future images vanishing. Well, that was that. The cloudy precognition of a fireball washed over his senses. That was a big one. Torch. I forgot about him. Not a safe thing, by any means. Torch may have been a little bit showy, but he was one of the most powerful Epics Ringmaster had under his control. He jumped out of the way, tucking into a roll across the platform. Ringmaster had disappeared during his duel with Bubbles, and he was the only one on the platform stage now. No collateral damage for Torch to worry about. The fireball hit and burst, but Paladin was out of the worst of it. His clothing singed, and his eyebrows smoldered slightly, but he put them out quickly. He hoped the smell of burned hair would come out easily. Looking up, he saw that Torch was circling higher and higher. He recognized this tactic from fighting Firelord in Bend. The Epic was going to dive directly at him, firing fireballs. Sparking wonderful. He definitely couldn't get off of the platform in time to make a difference. His precognition would let him get out of the way of a direct strike, but there was no way to get out of the kill zone. Unless... On a hunch, he moved to the front edge of the platform, standing stock still. Got to make him believe I'm not expecting this, he thought. Got to make him cocky. Torch began diving, hurtling groundwards at ever-increasing speed. Paladin looked out over the half-sunk audience, many still crying out in fear and trying to scramble away from the rapidly unfolding battle. They would make a perfect distraction. The shadowy future-image passed through him, turning only inches above the platform. Impressive. Torch was quite skilled. More so than he would have thought. This was going to take even more care. Paladin waited until the last possible moment, and jumped. With a rush of wind, the fiery Epic passed over his head, the flames in his wake singing his hair. Well, it's not like I cared too much about my personal appearance, he mused with a wry face. Torch had tried to adjust and catch him as he fell from the platform. Having missed, his momentum now propelled him into the thronging mass of vanillas, the fireballs intended for Paladin now approaching the crowd at a speed only slightly faster than the Epic himself. The crash was earth-shattering. A huge plume of flame, then silence. The Epic thrashed weakly in the midst of a burned circle of charred bodies and twisted chairs. Perfect. A footstep creaked on the wooden platform above. Ringmaster. Paladin leaped back up, slashing his sword down, but meeting no resistance. Curses! He spun, seeking the flamboyant Epic to deliver another blow. The sword passed through him with no resistance. The image dissolved into a shower of sparks. Illusionist! The man must have a secondary power. Yet another failure of their intelligence efforts. But the trap had sprung now, and the only choice was to fight through it. Out of nowhere, a future-image passed through his chest. A disembodied hand, holding a dagger. He stepped backwards, ready to catch the blow. The illusionist had revealed his hiding place. But instead of a tall man in purple, his assailant was a small girl, with short-cropped dark hair and nondescript clothing. The knife passed through his arm, and he felt the nerves tingle suddenly. Only just realizing his danger, he pushed away with his sensationless arm, jumping backwards, desperately trying to avoid the ethereal blade seeking for his heart. Ghostknife. There had been rumors about a shadowy Epic who served as Ringmaster's assassin. Ranger had investigated them, tracking all of the leads down. None had led to anything but rumor. Paladin had concluded that the Epic was a fabrication. Propaganda used to strengthen Ringmaster's rule. Apparently, the rumors were real.

Even in full sociopath mode, he'd have at least a grudging respect for Remington (unless he runs into folks with a Remington-hero-worship complex first, in which case he's a prime candidate for suspicion). Light!Paladin (or at least not-Dark!Paladin) would probably view the man as a potential powerful ally, even with the hero-worship. (He's got a lot more ability to see nuance when he's not Dark.) And, if I can pull it off, it will be non-Dark!Paladin that first makes it to The Dalles. There's always time for sociopathy later.

Ooh...this is going to be just evil. You're right. He's not going to take it well at all. At all. This might be enough to drive him into Vondra's camp. Temporarily, at least. Before he goes full on sociopath again.

It's in the other thread, but here's a link. http://www.17thshard.com/forum/topic/17548-question-2/page-77#entry186176 One of these days, I probably should put up bios for all of the minor Epics that are getting killed in my posts...

Wow! I go away for a night and you guys have put up 4(!) pages! That's what I get for needing sleep, I guess. I'll have a Ranger/Paladin post up soon, and I'll be introducing a new vanilla, one of Vondra's senior intelligence officers, entrusted with a task of the highest importance.

Paladin would probably end up being one of the suits of armor. Until a Dark Lord attacked the school, that is... The other two would probably end up trying to push homeschooling alternatives to Hogwarts, attending protests, and generally just making a nuisance of themselves.

Wow...these posts/threads multiply faster than rabbits. Ooh, I know! Maybe we could start a thread farm and sell them for food!

His reasoning doesn't even go that far. He is willing to let Kaladin keep the Shards. What he's worried about is that nobody will believe the story of Kaladin giving them up, and will believe that Amaram stole them, instead. He's acting to preserve his reputation. Now, it is possible that his reputation is all-important for his overall plan, that for his purposes (the salvation of Roshar through the return of the Heralds) being seen to be honorable is even more important than actually being honorable. We don't know his overall plan, so we don't have enough information to make a final judgement. It is possible that his decision will turn out to be the right one according to his perspective, and that he just was missing all-important information that would have let him know it was wrong. On the other hand, it is also possible that he was just being selfish, and all of his justifications are groundless. Without knowing all of the information he was working under, we can't know. What we do know enough to tell, however, is that he was completely wrong to do what he did, because we have relevant information that he did not. (Specifically, that his perception of the relationship between Desolations and Heralds is wrong, and therefore his secret society is not able to deliver a greater good that otherwise might have been able to justify his actions.)

Thanks, all y'all! I appreciate it.

Paladin and his followers would, I am fairly certain, have rather strenuously objected to Koschei's rule. Paladin, in particular, would have seen Koschei as a complete vindication of his conspiracy theory-like beliefs about Epic-worshiping cults, and would have stopped at nothing to eliminate Koschei and his worshipers. Dark!Paladin would have taken this so far as to kill every person who had ever been willing to call Koschei their god, no matter the amount of duress they were under. Even if it meant killing every person in Portland. Guardian and Ranger might have been able to stop him from doing that. And, of course, he might have died and reincarnated in the process of trying to kill Koschei, which would have tempered his executioner's tendencies. Whether or not he would have been successful at the attempt to dethrone Koschei...that's another matter. Probably not on his own. Koschei alone would have been hard if not impossible to kill, and being surrounded by the Epics who served him...well, three powerful but not High Epic level folks just aren't enough to handle that. (Although I do have a hilarious headcanon of Paladin trying to play whack-a-mole with Koschei's continually resurrecting body.)