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Kobold King

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Everything posted by Kobold King

  1. Kobold King
    This is kind of a useless topic, but since we've had epic shipping discussions about Stormlight and others of Brandon's series, I found it odd that nobody's hopped onto the most applicable ship from Shadows of Self: Wayne / MeLaan. The kandra and the one mortal who might rival her in imitation prowess. Not to mention their personalities compliment each other perfectly. And of course, as we learn from the end of the book, Anyone else got a ship that they're proud to sail?
  2. Kobold King
    Does it Count? Let me ask around... They say no. Does it count, however? I'd say it counts as Ascended Fanon Fanon. (Sorry. Couldn't resist taking your capitalization the wrong way this time. )
  3. Kobold King
    Ascended Fanon, then?
  4. Kobold King
    I don't know what Joe had in mind, but my theory is still that CorpseMaker was a mild-mannered accountant / well-loved uncle. He has an extremely organized and methodical approach to his plans, suggesting a lifetime spent working with precise systems of work. Probably a tax assessor or other number-oriented job. In addition, while he's easily annoyed by other people in general, in the coffee shop scene he shows an enormous degree of lenience towards a little girl, even letting her color on his plans. Most of all though, I love the idea of the dreaded CorpseMaker having been an unremarkable yet distinctly lovable accountant before Calamity came and screwed him up.
  5. Kobold King
    Then Revolution saw his update and assumed Max had a crush on her. Wacky sitcom hijinks ensued.
  6. Kobold King
    You stop this at once Lark. You're setting impossible beauty standards for all the impressionable bits of garbage of the world.
  7. Kobold King
    My parents and siblings are extremely photogenic people. When I appear in photos though, I appear blurry, seemingly scowling vaguely in the camera's general direction, and looking generally like the photograph of a serial killer from the "Early Life" part of his Wikipedia article. Needless to say, I try to avoid getting my picture taken.
  8. Kobold King
    "Who dropped this crumb on the floor? We're going to attract mice." "I don't think mice are going to be an issue here." "Why not?" "Because our house is elevated above the ground by thick posts, and we have twenty cats. At least ten of those are killers." "Oh." "This place isn't attractive to mice. If anything, this is where sinful mice go where they die."
  9. Kobold King
    Sam likes to be Facebook friends with all of her enemies, so they're easily accessible when she wants to screenshot their posts and make fun of them for an hour.
  10. Kobold King
    "I swear, if you turn this technical discussion thread into a cheap roleplay one more time, I will ban you before you can say 'D20.'" "...can i make a constitution save?"
  11. Kobold King
    Meh. More upvotes for her when she posts it. "Hello, Samantha." "Dude, I'm not joining your forum." "But you're such a clever girl. You could do quite well for yourself there." "I don't want to post on your stupid nerd forum." "Very well, Samantha. But you might live to regret your decision..." "That's it. I'm unfriending you on Facebook."
  12. Kobold King
    NightHound100 lurks and creeps everyone out, and occasionally posts links to shock and gore sites. His sister DiamondQueen is even worse--she once filled up an entire thread double, triple, and quadruple posting complaining that her maid hadn't gotten the hors d'oeuvres stain out of her dress.
  13. Kobold King
    www.mona.com. Mentioning that Funtimes42 did the base code work is a bannable offense.
  14. Kobold King
    Hmm... would Lightwards be a mean moderator, or just a grumpy lurker who logs on once a blue moon to post an essay about dinosaurs or a seven-page rebuttal of a college student's grasp of science?
  15. Kobold King
    Lightwards and Vondra are both coldly logical leaders, to different degrees... and in different ways... and practically everything about them as people is different.... Sam and Cricket both snark off to Epics? I'm having trouble here.
  16. Kobold King
    Baby seal leather? * Lightwards scheming intensifies *
  17. Kobold King
    Th-three seconds late?
  18. Kobold King
    Maybe not, but anyone who goes to dinner with Metronome feels awkward when he starts threatening the waiters.
  19. Kobold King
    It's fascinating to think that in only a few thousand years, stocky flat-nosed pugs were bred from fierce wolves. It's even more fascinating to see the visual record our ancestors left of the transformation: 1745: 1761: 1859: 1915: 2095:
  20. Kobold King
    On civilization / anarchy: I had fun arguing with you lot! I've got a lot of work to do and I've already made my key points, so I'll be bowing out of the discussion now. To everyone involved, whether I agreed or disagreed with you: I salute you. Oh, and have a good day everyone!
  21. Kobold King
    Oh look, another Red scene.
  22. Kobold King
    Everyone pays property tax except for people in government housing, though. My family has the resources on our farm to be wholly self-sufficient if need be, but still we have to scramble for the money to pay a government thousands of miles away for the right to live on land that they've never seen. If we don't pay, we lose our land. That's not a social safety net. That's serfdom. We lasted at least two hundred thousand years as a species without having need for any kind of civilization whatsoever. Our population ratio only changed within the last four thousand years, as a direct result of civilization. We don't know whether the current population could survive without industrialized agriculture, because we haven't tried. (And of course, that's assuming that industrialized agriculture is impossible without a government robbing the people blind, which is also unknown.) My family and I are slaves. What else could you call us--we have to work jobs for the sole purpose of out overlords in the government, supplying them funds that we never see again because we don't have any need of their programs. To justify the slavery of my family and countless others, you must prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that society will degrade Mad Max style as a direct result of me not paying taxes. So far, no one has done that. Fears have been expressed, but there's no proof that anyone's survival directly depends on the money that the Texan and federal governments squeeze out of me every month. Least of all my own or my neighbors. I'm sorry for your situation. You're quite welcome to use The Horror of the Fluffy Bunny, though.
  23. Kobold King
    Have you considered writing it as a satire of horror--a stereotypical serial killer is stalked by a teleporting baby bunny, who's always in the corner of his eye munching a carrot?
  24. Kobold King
    Hey, I wouldn't exactly be perfectly fit myself. Clubfoot, remember? There was no cure for that a thousand years ago. I'd have been a cripple for life, or in the worst case scenario, I'd be dead. But again... people have been crushed into poverty by taxes over the decades. People have rotted away in prison for not paying them. All these sick people who might or might not be made healthy by civilization--do they balance out the evil? Weren't we all brought here, at least in part, by the phrase "Journey before destination"? Down the road of civilization lies terrible crimes and atrocities committed for the greater good. You can pay into that system if you want, and were it voluntary, maybe I'd pay in too. But you can't enslave the whole world to save a few.
  25. Kobold King
    ...Am I the only one getting a stalker/serial killer vibe from this?
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