Kobold King

I doubt there's anything particularly fancy available in the main shop. It's possible the tailor's done work for Epics before though, so there might be some higher quality dresses in the back room she could borrow. If that story is ever told, it will be left up in the air whether it actually happened or whether Chicago Joe is making up wild fibs about himself. 1) Give me a physical description to work from and I'll get right to it. 2) I wouldn't be opposed to it--it might be hard to put that detail in at this point though, since with three deaths you'd think he'd have noticed. Unless his control extends by only one or two zombies each death. 3) Maybe Stitch could Awaken control all the threads in the city, forming a giant woven bridge to the Museum?

"And not a single sweet dream was dreamt that night." (As a side note, I honestly had a Steelheart-inspired dream last night. Not quite a nightmare, but definitely an unpleasant scenario in which Steelheart was chasing me. )

The palace is completely destroyed, blasted apart by conflicting sources of gravity. Slaughterhouse is there, or close by.

Never let it be said that 17th Shard staff isn't devoted to a high level of service.

Pardon me, but I was just wondering where the form is for putting a hit on another member?

Nope--never heard of it. Glad to see I'm inadvertently plagiarizing books I've never read, though. I wasn't planning on writing a Chicago Joe POV, but the post was looking fairly bland when it was all about Lightwards being the worst manager ever. I don't have anything to say to that besides... wow, I'm glad I'm self-employed.

Mission accomplished: every manager you've ever had now seems better by comparison. You're welcome.

I don't mind. Slaughterhouse needs someone something to traumatize do.

The robot rained death over the city. Its path through the sky kept it well away from the Empire, but the devastation it wreaked was clear. The humanoid shape shone with bolts of lightning visible even in the bright daylight. The missiles it delivered over Portland gave out rumbling thunderclaps audible for miles around. Miles away, Lightwards stood stiffly in the center of the street, his jaw set and his fists clenched. A steady fury was rising in his chest; he could feel his heart pounding and his eye twitching. "CorpseMaker is a fool," he said finally, turning to Lucentia. The woman was also staring at the distant havoc, her expression unreadable. "There will be nothing left to rule if he lets his minions destroy the city," Lightwards continued distastefully. "I don't need the city intact--I only need it's inhabitants stacked in open graves. But this destruction can't possibly serve him..." He trailed off, quietly stewing. There was a purpose for the destruction, he quietly realized. It was a message; a message as crisply clear as those fractal lightning bolts. CorpseMaker owned the city. Shaking away the worst of his fury, Lightwards had a toy soldier open the clothing shop door, allow Lucentia to step in ahead of him. He had his soldiers wait outside to stand guard over the street, then followed behind the diamond queen. I could grow too used to this, he thought warily. I won't always have these toys to control so beautifully. But I deserve a little luxury today. The tailor's shop was just as he had left it: quiet, peaceful, and filled with Warriors. The lines of empty-minded zombies stood where they died, vacant and unaware of their surroundings. Only the tailor showed any trace of activity, repeatedly ruining the stretch of dinosaur hide. His face was shadowed from lack of sleep, and his hands were shaking involuntarily. Lightwards cursed irritably, putting a bullet between the tailor's vacant eyes. The Warrior dropped to the floor, only to be immediately raised again with a gentle tap on the bloodied forehead. "New instructions," Lightwards said sternly. "You will work as usual, taking breaks to eat and sleep as necessary. You will restart your efforts to create my coat. You will work for me like you worked for yourself." The tailor nodded dumbly, and Lightwards placed his hand on the ruined piece of clothing. At once the scattered stitches popped out of the hide and a living dinosaur stood in the shop, only to be immediately executed once more. "Begin now." The tailor took the dinosaur carcass to the back room, presumably where he would skin the beast. Post-Calamity tailors had to learn to perform all parts of their trade themselves, Lightwards supposed. With the coat business out of the way, Lightwards turned to Lucentia with a rueful smile. "Forgive me for the dullness of my errands. Now, I believe you had matters of business you wished to discuss with me?" A building exploded. Chicago Joe bolted upright, his body crackling as it jolted from stone to worn flesh. He glared up at the sky, shaking his fist at the robot in the sky. "Jackchull!" he slurred angrily. "Ah'm sleepin' here! Ever think of that, ya pit-sniffin' slontze?" He took a few dizzy steps away from the park bench, still mumbling angrily to himself. It was that 'Electro' jackchull doin' it all. The one who'd been runnin' around the city like he owned the place, trying to recruit other Epic folk for some jerk named Corpsebaker or somethin'. Chicago Joe had napped through the whole thing, really. Mr. Big-shot Electro Man had passed him by five or six times, completely unaware that he was passing an Epic instead of a particularly ugly park statue. But this was getting ridiculous. "Jackchull," he shouted again, glaring at the panicking vanillas running all around him. "See if I come into this part o' town again, eh? Maybe Ah'll just see that jerk in the bowler hat, eh? See if he 'ppreciates ol' Chicago Joe..." He put one foot in front of the other, determinedly hiking towards that 'Empire' nonsense down south. He'd sworn not to set foot there again after that goth chick scribbled a mustache on him while he was sleeping, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Thoughttown had kicked him out half a dozen times now, and Corpseraker's land was being blown up by some jackchull. Where was a fella supposed to get his beauty sleep? "Nobody runs Chicago Joe out of town," he mumbled angrily, walking with his head down and his hands in his coat pockets. "Nobody..."

Granted--Pandas Unhallowed, however, portrays pandas in an extremely negative light and ends with the moral message to kill them all on sight. I wish for the ability to hear spelling errors.

Aldo can shrink inanimate objects, but nothing that's organic. Could he use his power to destroy one of Scrapyard's limbs while the limb is turned into a drill or something?

This should be interesting. This should give everyone a chance to horrifically slaughter other Epics show off their powers. Upgrade doesn't get to die until he's supercharged every Epic in the RP at least once. And I actually kind of like Temptress. She's like an evil Blushweaver.

Also, I put together an Edgerunner Pony Mark I, proffered here for peer review: Alternative attire design:

First reaction: Second reaction:

I imagine the MEE will be forced into the open once the CM war begins in earnest--maybe Collaborate could defect to CorpseMaker then? Also, is a Stitch-Lightwards fight still on the table? I'm still trying to decide whether Backtrack should start flirting with every female Epic in The Dalles, or if he should become bizarrely fixated on the twins now.

If he joined the Empire, would he have the combined strength of all Lightwards' Warriors?

Yep, it's fine for Edgerunner to meet them. Maybe Altermind could sweet talk Funtimes into giving them a floating building of their own? Or they could start holding major conferences in the Museum once they understand the Streetwise threat.

I think an aerial battle where flying robots are sent after the Museum would be awesome. I say move forward with it! We could allow ourselves a week or so of all-out war throughout the city before we start bringing it to a close.

I have a general idea how each of them behave, and I intend to write POV scenes for them, but overall I'd say they're NPCs in the same vein as the Museum Quartet were. Glamour doesn't talk a lot, and when he does talk he mainly insults everyone around him. He always listens to his music though because his weakness is silence. (Though this fact is not publicly known.) Redlight's a bit more warm, as she doesn't use her powers very often. She gets a little snotty when she uses them, however. Deathwish is pretty much as bad as Epics get. He finds pain and other people's deaths amusing, and goes out of his way to make others uncomfortable. He's the only one who can get away with using his powers near-constantly, as the fuss it would cause to call him on it--not to mention the carnage--is simply not deemed worthwhile. He tends to act as if he had already been crowned Emperor, ordering vanillas about with an arrogant air.

Spoiler alert: Backtrack throws up again, prompting the guards to assume he has lethal projectile vomit and shoot him on sight. (Once Backtrack is in the Church, I'll describe him having to wait and deciding to peer into the building's past.) EDIT: Reader too. Other than that, I think that's everyone.

Thanks again. I figured The Dalles City Guard needed at least one higher-end Epic on their side, or else Quicksilver and his goons would have run the city into the ground long ago. Though Vondra's organization and leadership definitely helps. Fine by me.

Thanks. Here's another, who I envision as the only High Epic in Vondra's employ: Is this permissible?

Yippee! Here are the only two I've been able to think of so far.

Granted. But you will never go anywhere of interest nor do anything of importance in your lifetime. I wish to be immune to all forms of disease or pestilence.

"In my day, girls wore respectable swim attire." "You stay out of this, Sibyl!" "You can't stop me. I had my say six years ago. And don't use that foul language here." "Would you quit that? This is sparking insane--" "I said don't use that foul language here, young man." I imagine this level of devastation will be visible across the whole city. This will definitely accelerate Lightwards' desire to bring down CM. Roger that. I'm considering making a few cannon fodder Epics that work for Vondra's police--sort of the opposite of the Slivers. Is that OK, TwiLyght?