Yo Mama’s Day Cosmere Jokes

[gatorprof]

Mother’s Day is close, so here are some jokes to celebrate. With apologies to all mothers everywhere - we wouldn’t be here without you. 

Yo mama’s so slow when she burns electrum she sees what she did yesterday.

Yo mama’s so weak her spren only becomes a butter knife. 

Yo mama’s so weak when she lashes herself downwards she just stays in place. 

Yo mama’s so weak when she taps her goldmind she gets sicker. 

Yo mama’s so fat her ironmind taps into her. 

[ShardShaper he/him]

Yo mama so light, when she burns steel and pushes a thrown coin, she flies backwards.

Yo mama so dumb, she bonded with a stupidspren and became a knight dimiant of the order of dumbwieghts

Yo mama so lazy, when she taps an electrum metalmind, she has to roll down the stairs

Yo mama so weak, she has to burn pewter to wake up

[Use the Falchion]

In the spirit of Mother's Day, I tried to do uplifting "yo mama" jokes.

 

Yo mama's so awesome, Lift became HER.

Yo mama's so religious, when she asks "how was your day/week/etc." you feel like you've met an Inquisitor. 

Yo mama's such a good peacemaker, we call her Harmony.

 

[Chromium Compounder]

The obvious ones:

Yo mama so stable, we call her Preservation.

Yo mama so loving, we call her Devotion.

Yo mama so rich, she makes Dominion jealous.

Yo mama so giving, she gives investiture to Endowment.

Yo mama so ambitious, Rayse thought Uli Da had survived.

A little less obvious:

Yo mama so careful, she keeps her Nightblood sheath in a Nightblood sheath sheath.

Yo mama so persuasive, Breeze learned Soothing from her.