I need funny Bridge 4 quotes!

[Sunbringer he/him]

Ok so I'm trying to make a t-shirt with lots of bridge 4 quotes and it is pretty hard to come up with enough. If anyone finds any funny ones (So basically anything Lopen says) please put it here so I can have a good selection of quotes.

[Selleshar she/her]

"I am the Lopen, which means I am ready for anything at any time. You should know this by now."

"Hey, gancho! Hey! You want me, I think. You can use me. We Herdazians are great fighters, gon. You see, this one time, I was with, sure, three men and they were drunk and all but I still beat them."

"I’m an expert on one-armed Herdazian jokes. ‘Lopen,’ my mother always says, ‘you must learn to laugh before others do. Then you steal the laughter from them, and have it all for yourself.’ She is a very wise woman."

"A one-armed Herdazian is still twice as useful as a no-brained Alethi."

"Oh. Oh. Question for you! What did the one-armed Herdazian do to the man who stuck him to the wall?
Nothing. The Herdazian was 'armless.'"

"Ain’t nothing wrong with being a woman, gancho. Some of my relatives are women."

"Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before pancakes."

"If you’re crazy, you’re a good type, and I like you. Not a killing-people-in-their-sleep type of crazy. Besides, we all follow crazies all the time. Do it every day with lighteyes."

These are all exclusively from the Lopen. Though I know Kaladin and the others have their funny moments, they're just harder to find. xD

I hope this helped!

[Zelly]

Gah, don't have the text with me.  But there's the one he says in Oathbringer that's near the "journey before pancakes" one, something about not mistaking a beer for a person.

Also, this doesn't really go in the Introduction board. 

Edited November 8, 2018 by Zellyia