Question because I'm bored

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

What is the toughest animal you think you could win a fight against? The animal is going to be mad, and it will have no mercy. It is also a criminal animal. It just committed corporate fraud and stole from orphans, so it kind of has it coming. 


Note: I do not condone harming animals in any way. This is a hypothetical to prove your manliness/womanliness (but be honest!).

I'm not a small man, but I find I don't have a lot of confidence in myself when it comes to defending against animals. On land I think I'd do alright against pretty much any animal that is missing sharp teeth or claws with the exception of an elephant or hippo. If we are into teeth/claws territory, probably nothing bigger than a single coyote. Two coyotes? I'm done. Bobcat? Probably done. Anything that is in the ocean/water would just use me as its play-thing. I don't stand a chance. I mean, if I have to give an answer? I'd probably say I could handle a decent sized carp. Or a crab no bigger than my chest.

I'm trying to think of it in terms of "if someone offered me $1,000,000 to fight an enraged _____, would I do it?"

Anyway, if anyone else is as bored as I am and feels like they have something to prove, feel free to post. If not I'll probably delete this as soon as things start picking up on real topics, hahaha

[Kobold King he/him]

I frequently have to wrestle goats into their pens, so I think the toughest criminal animal I can handle would be... a goat.

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

I frequently have to wrestle goats into their pens, so I think the toughest criminal animal I can handle would be... a goat.

Yeah, I think I could handle a goat once I got past that first charge.

[Left he/him]

I could take a goat, although like you say the first charge wouldn't be fun. After that would be...... a medium sized penquin? I'm not really sure so I might come back and edit this post.

I love this topic idea mate, upvotes!

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

I could take a goat, although like you say the first charge wouldn't be fun. After that would be...... a medium sized penquin? I'm not really sure so I might come back and edit this post.

I love this topic idea mate, upvotes!

I don't think there is a single penguin in this world that has my strength or reach. So if I can hold something at bay, I see no reason why I couldn't "win." I'd take that chance for sure!

[Left he/him]

Birds are surprisingly strong, and penguins are fast, and that beak is nasty. Still I can think of plenty of ways that I could win, especially for $1,000,000.

[Awesomeness Summoned he/him]

I have a lot of confidence around animals but you have to face biology. Humans just aren't made for direct confrontation without our tools. I'll agree with you Falcon and say coyotes/dogs would probably be my limit. Anything that weighs more than me and has sharp claws/teeth/horns will likely end me.

 

Your comment on penguins Caleb made me think of something that always makes me laugh. Why do people runaway from an animal that poses no real challenge to them at all. The biggest example of this is ducks. Why do people run in terror when a duck chases them?

 

As Falcon said, I don't condone harming animals for fun but I also won't back down from one that has no business attacking me. I had a duck come after me for no reason once. I'll just say I played a lot of soccer growing up and things didn't end well for that duck. A penguin would make a decent soccer ball as well.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

If you kick a Penguin between the Legs, will it react in the Same way you Human Males do? (Do Penguins even have Legs? It just looks like feet.)

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

This thread is only serving to teach everyone that we don't know as much as we thought we did about penguins. 

[Awesomeness Summoned he/him]

But Morgan Freeman already taught us everything we needed to know about them didn't he?

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

But Morgan Freeman already taught us everything we needed to know about them didn't he?

I know for fact that my mind purposefully erases memories of things I learned from Morgan Freeman. It does that so that I'll have to go back and listen to Morgan Freeman's voice again. I can't tell if it is a subconscious function of my mind, or a subconscious function of Morgan Freeman's voice.

[Awesomeness Summoned he/him]

I've watched too many of the "True Facts" videos. That guy's voice creeps in now whenever I hear Morgan Freeman talk.

 

"That is how the penguin do."

 

Edited May 5, 2014 by Awesomeness Summoned

[Baine he/him]

...So I can't use a knife or baseball bat or steel pipe or other weapon? That narrows the list. Also, Bobcats are kinda small. I'm 6'3". I can kick that thing into oblivion. I think I could also handle a wolf or something similarly sized.

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

...So I can't use a knife or baseball bat or steel pipe or other weapon? That narrows the list. Also, Bobcats are kinda small. I'm 6'3". I can kick that thing into oblivion. I think I could also handle a wolf or something similarly sized.

I'm 6'2, the thought isn't lost on me. I think it'd be too fast for me. I don't think I could land a good enough kick. But bobcat is on the safe side i guess. I would want to be certain.

[Claincy he/him]

I reckon I could take on a wild boar

 

So really, err, maybe a bunny? How about a really big bunny?

 

Seriously that thing is about 40% of my weight.

[Swimmingly he/him]

I think I could do a one-on-one with an axehound. Maybe.

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

I think I could do a one-on-one with an axehound. Maybe.

 

You are one confident fish.

[Swimmingly he/him]

I said nothing about age of the axehound, nor my own ability to continue pumping blood to my extremities at the conclusion of the fight.

[Kobold King he/him]

I reckon I could take on a wild boar

 

So really, err, maybe a bunny? How about a really big bunny?

 

Seriously that thing is about 40% of my weight.

 

I could take on a wild boar, but only if I got to eat the bacon afterwards.

[Delightful]

No weapons allowed at all? I think I'll go Lightweave something to distract it while the poor innocent children run for their lives.

[el_warko he/him]

Gummi Bear.

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

No weapons allowed at all? I think I'll go Lightweave something to distract it while the poor innocent children run for their lives.

No weapons, no children. They can be used as a weapon. 

It is just you and [animal] in an arena on the terrain of its choosing. 

(NOTE: No matter how stupid an animal is, it will never choose the wrong terrain.)

 

 

Gummi Bear.

Note: you have to bring enough to share with everyone. And fight them all.

Edited May 6, 2014 by Bloodfalcon

[Swimmingly he/him]

But that means even a penguin could win, because it would choose subzero Antarctic water!

[Bloodfalcon he/him]

But that means even a penguin could win, because it would choose subzero Antarctic water!

Good point. I submit to penguins.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

I would chose a Pocket Chihuahua. Or a Gardner Snake. Or maybe a Human child.